One Giraffe, One Lion, Two Parrots, Four Monkeys, One Tortoise and a Zebra

My daughter Valerie is an awesome fourth grade teacher.  Her work days are spent in a  classroom teeming with excitement, delight and fourth grade emotions.  Her students are often bursting with energy which needs to be acknowledged, managed and navigated into a creative learning experience.

And Valerie is always ALL IN for whatever presents itself in the moment.   Her spontaneous responses  never fail to seize the unexpected opportunities knocking at her door.

And speaking of that “knocking”, I have a  confession to make.  While watching her from the “sidelines”, I have always loved the idea of being a part of the fun and I sometimes get these bursts of inspiration on how to make that happen.

Take this year, for example.  At the beginning of this current school year, I arranged to have a super plush, 4 foot  stuffed giraffe delivered to her classroom crammed into an Amazon delivery box.  No one knew the delivery was coming… not even Valerie. 

At this unexpected event, the  students watched while she loosened the top flap of the box and the giraffe’s head popped out, followed by an unfolding of the rest of his body and limbs.

Oooos and ahhhhs pirouetted in the air and Valerie read out loud the message the giraffe was delivering for me:  “So much to discover!”

It was a delightful moment for the kids.  Everybody is always curious when a new student joins the class.

It wasn’t very long before Valerie had positioned Spot (named by a  vote of the class) standing up at the blackboard.  Next to him were chalk notes from Spot written to the students.  Overnight, Spot had become a  teaching assistant, communicating to the students important thoughts for them to remember.

As I learned about Spot’s new assignment, I knew the giraffe would provide lots of fun for the students, but I didn’t know how soon I would be eager to introduce a new companion for him.

A few weeks later another delivery arrived to the classroom containing a  large box with another jungle animal.  This time it was a plush stuffed lion.  I hasten to explain here that it was a lion with a gentle face.  (All the jungle animals that found their way into Valerie‘s fourth grade classroom had gentle demeanors.  This was a very important rule of mine.  I wanted the students to enjoy the animals’ personalities.)

This particular lion was designed  in a reclining manner which made it easy for students to approach it before class  each day.  And it wasn’t long before Valerie found students petting  the lion and his brother giraffe.  She quickly saw that their presence was filling a need the students had to use the sense of touch to express their affection.  

As time went on, I asked myself what could be added to this awesome  duo and the answer presented itself to me In an imaginary jungle scene… Two colorful parrots!  Talking parrots.  And the two plush parrots who joined the scenario next were able to record what they heard and repeat it back to the students in their own unique parrot voices.

As animals  arrived to the classroom they typically received a name that had been voted on by the class. If any student was absent on this important day, the class waited for a full return before the vote was taken. Every vote was important.

By now the school year had reached Halloween and the students eagerly  dressed the animals for the occasion.

I was delighted to see the jungle scene was creating itself and I felt a call for some rascal energy and, soon after, four monkeys arrived each with a mischevious grin decorating his face.  Each monkey had Velcro attached to his hands and feet and so there were many interesting ways the monkeys could be displayed in the classroom.

Over time, I began to wonder what else might belong in the jungle scenario.  I wanted to surprise everyone and think of a creature no one would have anticipated.  I decided on a tortoise and no one had more fun with the new visitor than the classroom maintenance person who commented it would be fun to suspend it from the ceiling so it would look like it was swimming.

As the school year passed quickly by, I realized we were only a few weeks away from its ending.  Something in me was calling for a dramatic, final surprise.  I was ecstatic to find Stripes, an adorable, genteel, plush 30 inch zebra who was introduced to the class by Spot, his fellow sojourner.

Reflecting on the delightful events of the school year, I begin to wonder who had had more fun this year…the students or me.  Or maybe it was the maintenance man who wanted to suspend the tortoise from the ceiling as if he were swimming by.  Perhaps it was my daughter who got to use her ingenuity incorporating the new additions to her exciting classroom.

As I told a friend about this adventure of mine, she commented that the students would never forget their fourth grade experience.  I loved that thought.  I felt they would fondly remember their generous, fun-loving teacher and the jungle animals who had  helped her capture so many important lessons in the classroom.

A couple of days ago I listened to a podcast discussing a book called Homecoming.  The book is about coming home to ourselves.  I thought about coming home to myself and I realized how much I love to use my imagination to create fun, loving, surprising things.  I thought about the wonderful imagination of my daughter and her students as they enjoyed their jungle friends and I sat down to write this blog because sharing these memories made me come home to myself and what I treasure so much in my life.

How delightful it is to think about coming home to ourselves every day.  The fun… the adventure… the joy.  Coming home to whatever makes our hearts sing.  When we are immersed in these beautiful moments, I think we access the very best parts of ourselves.

What are your greatest sources of joy and adventure?  Have you accessed them today?

Spot, Stripes and the rest of the fourth grade jungle crew are wishing you an AWESOME day coming home to yourself.

                                         Marie Helena

Whither Thou Goest

 O of the most prevalent emotional conditions experienced by persons in our culture is the state of being Co-Dependent.

In CO-DEPENDENCE we link the state of our happiness to the state of someone else's...we are dependent on someone else' s reaction or feeling and we let that reaction or feeling from another dictate how we are.

The reason we do this is because we have experienced pain from confrontation or abandonment and we fear the repeat of this experience. We fear it so much that we are constantly watchful and attentive to the emotional state of those around us...we try to keep them happy and satisfied but we are always ready for (and even expect) pain at any second.

Unconscious childhood wounds make us vulnerable to whatever someone else is going through. We are witnesses to their displeasure and immediately proceed to claim it as our own, not recognizing or acknowledging that we are separate individuals.

We are DEPENDENT on others for our emotional well-being.

The dysfunction we experienced as a child prevents us from clearly asking for what we would like to have (we don't feel the freedom to do this and the confidence that our request will be well-received). And because we have not entered into a dialogue to explain how we feel and invited an explanation of how another feels, we instead set up our own expectations regarding how we would like someone to act (and this feels safer for we can do it in our own minds without taking the chance of involving someone else and having to deal with what might be said).Unfortunately, when we do not get the results we have expected (which occurs because we have not discussed the preferences of both parties), we then suffer.

And the fact is...we have brought that suffering on ourselves.

We have assumed that the things that have meaning and significance to us have the same meaning and significance to others. And when that meaning and significance are not similarly acknowledged, we draw the conclusion that we are not cared about.

And so we suffer. And needlessly...for every individual develops his own preferences and attaches his own meanings to objects and experiences. Just because someone has not acted in the way we would does not mean that the person does not care for us. What it does mean is that we have not bravely asked for what we would prefer and invited another to tell us his requests.

It is sometimes very frightening for co-dependent persons to have a direct conversation regarding their preferences but it is THE WAY to ensure that a decision can be negotiated...and agreed upon in a manner that will satisfy all parties involved.

When we do recognize that WE are the cause of our suffering because of experiences we have endured...we can clearly see that WE also have the power to change it. Though it can be a challenging and unfamiliar road to follow, it is the formula for self-approval, satisfaction and inner peace.

Obviously, our soul contract has been designed by us to include this very important work. We can transcend the sense of feeling helpless and vulnerable by speaking our truth and listening to others' truth, thereby emerging into independent, self-accepting and self-approving individuals who have come to terms with a limitation and turned it into a confident and self-caring lifestyle.

                                 Marie Helena

                                                                                           

I speak my truth

so that I can keep my Heart FREE TO FLY.

I listen to your truth so that you Can Join Me. 

Mystic Marks: Bookmarks for the Soul

"Light" Switch

If you find that waiting for people to adopt "your" way of doing things is a fruitless endeavor...here's something new to try. 

Study THEIR  process.

This is a really  interesting way to get into the flow. 

Instead of waiting for people to "finally" see your light...

LOOK AT THEIRS INSTEAD!

See what makes their eyes brighten and shows off their dimples. 

And, while you are at it, keep an eye out for their hot spots and triggers.

 

If you can OBSERVE PATTERNS in their behavior,  you'll get a glimpse of their priorities and their issues...what they hold dear and what gives them distress.

When you can view their actions OBJECTIVELY (after all...you ARE making a study), they suddenly become fun to watch.  

And...you will get a better handle on how to interact with them most successfully.

The really wonderful thing about this new habit you're cultivating is that it takes you out of your preoccupation with having everything unfold your way and it broadens your perspective about how things can be accomplished.

 

This practice also has the potential to develop your sense of empathy and compassion. 

What a generous and considerate person you've now become by seeing how you can fit into someone else's life instead of trying to make him fit into yours!

                                Marie Helena

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