Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, tells us that RESPECT is one of the greatest expressions of LOVE...and that, if we love someone, we respect that this person is a good artist and can write his own story.
Ruiz further says that this person was, in fact, BORN to write his own story and if we respect him, we do not try to write his story for him.
What is even more important is that imposing ourselves in someone else's story is a blatant example of our lack of faith that the other person is capable of learning for himself what there is to be learned and applying those lessons to his life. The consideration of how and when and if he does this is not In our job description.
I do believe that we can communicate to others in a gentle, positive, loving manner any suggestions that we may have about the turmoil they may be experiencing BUT that is it...just SUGGEST...not expect and not punish if someone does not wish to embrace what we are envisioning as an answer to a dilemma.
We are NEVER in the place of knowing all of the factors involved in how someone's life is playing out and to act as if we are and to envision what we think is the perfect answer is to exalt ourselves and fail to honor the other.
It represents the giving of affection with CONDITIONS, falling short of a truly loving response and indicating a lack of respect.
Truly understanding our place in the world and the place others occupy is a challenging task for us. It requires clear boundaries for ourselves and others but it frees everyone involved to make life choices in an atmosphere of support and caring.
Expressing our faith in everyone else's right and ability
to listen to the guidance of his own heart...
to decide issues for himself...
to experience the consequences of his choices and to learn his own lessons when and if he chooses..
is a most beautiful and pure expression of love and caring.
It also frees us to use our energies for the selection, welcoming and experiencing of our own adventures.
image from tootsiegrace.blogspot.com
What an eye opener for parents, teenagers, teachers, friends, etc, etc, etc! Those three simple items to remember (faith in the other, self decision, the experiences of consequences) should be tattooed on everyone's arm and remembered in every encounter we have. Can we shout this from the rooftops daily so no one forgets this powerful way of looking at those who we come in contact with every day?
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