The Cutting Edge: Deconstructing Anger

Rough edges...
gruff sounds...
a voice growing in intensity 

 
Oh, dear....Where can we hide?

Most of us feel like "leaving the building" when the vibration of anger explodes in our midst.  Whether it is our own fiery voice we hear or someone else's, this is not a fun place to find ourselves and we wonder what happened to bring this on?  How did things escalate so fast? 

And, in the face of this growing tension, it is so very difficult to get our bearings, to take that deep breath, to step away from the fray and summon a glimpse of the bigger picture.  But this is exactly what is needed in the heat of that moment for what is transpiring has many possible layers to it and it takes a clear head, a centered consciousness and a calm, compassionate heart to embrace the significance of the event.

Psychologist Phillip McGraw tells us that anger is a masking defense, called out to front the troops which are harboring hurt, fear or frustration.  Where anger feels hot and aggressive, the emotions "behind the scene" are actually full of pain...and vulnerability but they are lacking the courage to directly speak what has caused their siren call.  And that is because the angry person (whether it is ourself or another) has not experienced the trust that it is safe and it is important to name the feelings that are flooding his soul. 

And so anger, instead, emerges as the front guy and anger takes the hit, eventually encountering a counterattack, distressing emotions or even remorse at a later moment.   And all of this drama is not productive because it isn't even the real issue.  But what it does do is bring  our awareness to the fact that there is someone needing love and attention...and, most of all, needing understanding that their heart is unprotected.

The most powerful elixir in this moment is to have someone bravely dance right through the emotional maelstrom of the anger and lovingly embrace the tender heart which is longing  to be heard.  Unconditional acceptance in a safe environment as this soul speaks its truth the best way it knows how.  




Deconstructing anger...cutting edge.


                                                                                                Marie Helena




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