What Can I Do to Help?

Whenever things happen that feel uncomfortable or irritating it is so very human to go to the place of "Ouch!  That hurts.  Now why did he or she do that?"

Although the intention of that statement is to express our consternation, it has embedded within it some beautiful words of wisdom.  


When someone first does or says something that upsets us, our subconscious kicks in, the ninety-six per cent of the power which drives our behavior - the place where the shenpa occurs (the space of time when our trigger is activated). 

When we recognize that an uncomfortable feeling place has been launched in us,  we have the opportunity to make a choice.  

Will we react...or respond?  A reaction focuses on what has happened to us.  A response takes a look at the SOUL VIEW of that moment.


What if we truly wondered WHY someone did or said something...and we wondered it in an impersonal, objective way as if we were an observer of the encounter and not a " victim"?


There is ALWAYS a back story to what someone says or does that we find upsetting.   There is ALWAYS some history...an experience, some unhealed hurt that is driving their actions and behavior.

That BACK STORY is a critical part of the encounter.

And, if we could hear and understand that back story,  we would be able to make sense of the person's behavior and not only would we release our feeling of upset or irritation, we could offer support and understanding to the other party involved in the interaction.

For example,

We could ask someone if something is concerning or troubling them when they speak words of anger or irritation...

Or,

We could look at someone's face or body reactions for evidence of an internal struggle or unexpressed emotion and hold space for them as they navigate those murky waters...

Or,

We could try to understand the intent behind someone's actions or words that felt confusing or troubling to us by asking them to help us understand their feelings.


When we open our hearts to TRULY LISTEN to what someone is telling us, we can find a way to ease their pain AND avoid future conflicts of this kind.

When caring and compassion direct our behavior, the words, "What Can I Do to Help?" (voiced out loud or in our hearts)  are not far behind.



image from table9philosophy.wordpress.com. 

Lemons, Lemonade and Quantum Physics

Everyone's heard the famous saying encouraging us to  
MAKE LEMONADE 
OUT OF LEMONS. . 

And we often take that sage advice to heart, taking a difficult situation and making improvements for ourselves. 

And we are very proud of our work and rightly so, taking ownership of the lemonade.
 
 
BUT WHAT IF WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEMONS, TOO?


Quantum physics tells us that we create our "world"... and that sounds wonderful to us and we often view that statement as referring to the great things we want to bring into it.

But what if we are creating those wonderful things...the things that really bring us joy  by starting with the lemons first.
 

Let me back up for a minute and explain what I mean.

The thing that really brings us joy, I feel, is the lemonade that comes from the lemons.  

That lemonade is no easy concoction.  it requires acceptance, surrender, faith, trust, perseverance and, often, tenacity.  (Ever see that recipe In a cookbook?  I'm sure it appears in a celestial version.)

And now let's get to the lemons.  The pesky, annoying, difficult and sometimes devastating things that rock our world...and not in a good way.  The things that sometimes make us feel like a victim and give rise to the feeling of "Why me?".
 

What if the force behind the lemon eight ball is really us...throwing those lemons at ourselves with vigor and even delight because we know what we are capable of...the heights we can reach?
 

What if the lemons are a masterfully creative way of inspiring us to reach for a new insight, a wisdom that will totally transform our lives? 

And what if WE dreamed them up...and those lemons weren't coming AT US but rather to us and for us?
 

Now the "lemons" of our lives look different.  They're our creation...our compatriots...our partners in the glorious experiment we call Life in earth school.
 

Wow...aren't we the clever ones? 
 
While we are busy making that lemonade, let's bring some real appreciation to our sense of invention and creativity. 
 
And, when we recognize the details of our master plan and transcend the mystery, we can actually ENJOY the art of creating that divine drink from the mysterious and powerful lemons we bring into our lives.

image from medilodge.wordpress.com

The Moonbeam Laden Trail

IMAGINE THE grace

AND elegance

AND goodness

OF AN ENCHANTING CREATURE who bestows love and beauty upon everyone whose life she encounters!

 

Imagine the generosity of the  love emanating from her heart, touching everyone in her radius!

 

Imagine THE MOONBEAM LADEN TRAIL she leaves behind as she moves through life, anticipating her next adventure!

 

Now...imagine this beautiful creature is YOU!

And it's not impossible to envision yourself as this kind and compassionate...and very generous...mentor.

 

HERE'S HOW WE BEGIN. 

We begin by embracing our humanity, the work of the soul, in which we recognize and acknowledge and experience our very human reactions to things which trigger our unhealed hurts.  

This is the arena  where our subconscious kicks in, the ninety-six per cent of the power which drives our behavior.  The place where the shenpa occurs (the space of time when our trigger is activated and the flash BEFORE we react). 

In this holy juncture, this twinkling in time,  we have the opportunity to choose our next move...the thoughts we think...and if, at this very point, we choose to think with our heart, we will be guided to express that beautiful thought and we will intuitively know how to do this.

And when our hearts are directing the story of our life, that story becomes infused with gentleness, softness and caring and we speak and act from that place...

By asking someone if something is concerning or troubling them when they speak words of anger or irritation...

By seeing in someone's face or movements evidence of a struggle or unexpressed emotions and holding space for them as they navigate the murky waters...

By trying to understand the intent behind someone's actions or words that felt confusing or troubling to us and asking them to help us understand their feelings.

 

One...even ONE choice...one movement in the direction of openness and expansion and generosity and love will be the moonbeam to bring Light  into the moment. 


Love  grows exponentially and one expression of love will beget more and more expressions of love.  Before long, the entire direction of a moment will be anchored solidly on an upward path.

And it is our choice, our impulse to move beyond the EGO REACTION of something-is-coming-at-me to the HEART SPACE of how-can-I-bring-Light-to-this-moment that is the catalyst for the transformation.
 

If we do not make a conscious decision in the direction of love, our subconscious will do its work of activating more of whatever is our prevailing emotion and, if we are already upset by something, even more of that upset will be downloaded.

The choice is ours.

If we aspire to giving loving energy in every moment of our life with every person we encounter,

in every place we go, 

with every soul choice we make in our moments of challenge and dismay...

we CAN become that enchanting creature who always leaves evidence of love in her wake by connecting to and touching the hearts of all who have the privilege of encountering her!




image from fairiesfanpage.yolasite.com

Secrets of the Universe

Spiritual author Gary Zukav tells us that when we practice acts of love, fear begins to disappear from our lives.


What an intriguing thought:  The on-going offering of love releases fear!

 
As I reflect on this concept, a simple, mathematical observation comes to me.

I have read authors on many occasions who say that there are only two primary emotions:  love and fear...and so it seems to me that if one of these emotions prevails, the other will only take up the space that is left.  

And, to extend this thought even further...

If love is fully present in every moment, there will be no space for fear.

 

Could it be that simple? 

Perhaps there is also something intrinsic to this equation regarding the substance of love...and fear.

Love implies a fullness of heart...generosity, caring, compassion..joy that is waiting to be shared.  Fear implies a lack...of abundance, of trust, of safety.
 

In order to feel joyful and generous I think we must first feel EASE and SAFETY and, perhaps, that is the first and possibly most important thing that love gives us...a sense of safety...the feeling of "home"...a place where we are free to be ourselves and know "it's all good".
 

So, perhaps, the question is:  Can we look at the world and sense this AWESOME FEELING OF SAFETY?

Can we find it in the order and cycle of the seasons moving through the year? 

Can we see it in the way a tree takes root and grows?  

Can we feel it in the rhythm of a fetus growing in the womb and, after birth, progressing steadily and in perfect order through the stages of life? 

 

Perhaps the consideration of these beautifully orchestrated events can provide us with the sense that we ARE  safe...that there is a Divine Order at work and a loving and caring Creator authoring this order.  And, if we are, indeed, safe, we can relax into ease and naturally share that beautiful space with others.  

This, then, delivers us directly into love.
 

And, when we practice acts of love and nurture it, love grows exponentially.  And the more we love, the less room there is for fear.
 

The choice is ours:  expansion or contraction...love or fear?


The structural beauty of the universe seems to offer the evidence of expansion (Love).  Is the possibility of this conclusion yet another gift we have been given?




image from emergent-culture.com

The Companion

What if you had a COMPANION in your life who walked beside you on every path you chose to take... 

including the wild and wonderful rides AND all of the thorny obstacles you encountered?

 

And what if this companion felt your pain right along with you as you suffered and inspired you to be your authentic self...

real, open, transparent...

accepting and expressing  your frustration,  fear,  anger, helplessness and giving yourself compassion for the work of your journey? 

 
What if this companion loved you through all of the scrapes you found yourself falling into, embracing your humanity as you navigate the lessons of earth school and encouraging you and cheering you on as you chose to become the Next, Grandest Version of Yourself?

  
This companion is already here...in your life.  This companion willingly takes on your challenges, your burdens, your pain. It walks through life with you, navigating EVERY SINGLE THING you encounter. 

This COMPANION is your soul...a beautiful bridge between Spirit and the physical realities of earth school.  And it exists to accompany you through your journey.


As we immerse ourselves in learning the lessons we have chosen, we must be open to inquiry and exploration.  A great many OBSTACLES must be addressed and dealt with...they must be recognized, acknowledged, accepted for the wisdom they represent and released.

This is no simple task and we are to be commended for our courage in taking this on.   But we are not without sustenance and support.
 

The friend who walks with us...always...is our soul...the companion who takes on our physical journey in life, a gift we are given to support, encourage, soothe and ease our hearts while we confront the weighty challenges of earth school.
 

With the inspiration of our most awesome companion, the soul,
let us HONOR every experience we encounter in earth school AND our reactions to them (whatever they may be) as we move through the adventures of life celebrating our humanity and the glorious impulse to evolve.






image from crystalinks.com

The Sunshine of the Moment

Much has been written about the importance of feeling and releasing our emotions and the shedding of tears is a primary example of this process.

When we CRY the body allows our emotions (our response to life) to move through us and find expression.

 

In many cultures tears shed by women are easily accepted as being intrinsic to their nature.  But not all women cry easily and many men not at all...or very rarely..because of the constraints of their culture.  But the need to "cry" (read express emotions) remains and this longing yearns to be addressed.

And perhaps those of us who are not comfortable with "crying" in the traditional sense find other creative ways of discharging the "tears" of the emotions that build inside of us...

For example, when we sigh audibly or tap our foot impatiently...when we fail to listen with full attention and interrupt others to have our say or express ourselves in less than elegant language... or perhaps it's when we are so angry we kick the wall or walk out in the middle of an encounter...or choose to "sleep" it off...whatever it may be.  
 

Perhaps the most important thing about our awareness of the different forms of "crying"  has to do with the actions of others. 

If we do not recognize the "tears" being expressed in these moments it is easy to internalize the behavior as coming "at us" and totally MISS the opportunity to offer understanding and compassion to others as they struggle to cleanse their bodies of the difficult burden of carrying unexpressed emotions.
 

We may not be able to ascertain what "tears" expressed in this manner are about, but we do know that they represent someone's attempt to clear out the emotional residue that is being harbored in their body in the best way they "know"  how.

And when we encounter someone using these creative (though challenging to us) ways of release we can choose to bring Love into the moment by recognizing their process and standing by while they work to clear their path so they can truly be in THE SUNSHINE OF THE MOMENT and leave behind the emotional toll they have been carrying that has weighed so heavily on their hearts. 

 
When our hearts understand the hearts of others we give an exquisite gift of love and caring to all humanity by helping people release the burdens they have been carrying and open to the grace and beauty surrounding them.
 





image from mirror.co.uk. 

The Writing Team of Our "GLEE"

  

The highly acclaimed TV musical series Glee has proven so popular that it has generated a series spin-off called The Glee Project.  

  

On this show young performers who are talented singers, dancers and actors compete for the honor of being a guest star on several episodes of Glee. 

 

The talent and skill levels of the competitors are naturally of paramount importance but so is the question of whether or not Glee's writers feel inspired to write a story for the character that a performer represents.

The question which is asked each week by the writing team is:  Can we write for this character?  

Fortunately, in the stage of our life, we do not have to be concerned about whether our writing team can write for us.  

The Divine Universe is ALWAYS ready to write....to gift us with impulses, ideas, opportunities and experiences that help us manifest what it is that we DREAM about.

 

And when we dream (hold a conscious intention) and then release the dream to the Universe, we only need to be alert and watchful for the most amazing and beautiful impulses and opportunities to arise which move us with grace and ease toward the fulfillment of our dreams.

 

The  clues and syncronicities which appear may be subtle but if we harbor the curiosity and tenacity of the detective we WILL find them. and the more we experience them, the better we get at detecting their presence.

I received some beautiful encouragement for my desire to experience my life with simplicity and ease last evening as I attended a wedding on a beautiful cliff overlooking the shores of Lake Michigan.  

As a special gift to the guests the bride and groom had gathered small, flat stones from the shore and written a different inspirational word on each stone. 

Every guest was invited to select a stone and take it home after the reception.  The stones were arranged as adornments on many different tables, nestled among beds of green leaves.  

The very first stone I picked up had this word written on it:  "easily".  

 

I knew the synchronicity of the appearance of this word was an offer of inspiration from the Divine Universe to encourage me in my intention.

 
 
I get these kinds of messages of encouragement daily...from something I read on the Internet, from a song I hear playing, from an offhand comment made by someone close to me or even a stranger.

And the more I relax and trust in this wonderfully Divine arrangement and don't attempt to "fix" things myself...the more I choose to float on the river of life, accepting its flow whatever that may be,  the easier and faster they manifest.  

And lately they have been manifesting almost immediately.  The process is so easy, it is astounding..and so very joyful.

And in response to this amazing grace, I say, "Thank you and I'll have more!"

THIS is what we are designed to do on our earth journey.  

We are designed to hold conscious intentions, release them to the Divine Universe with no attachment regarding the journey by which they may arrive...and then stay alert for the surprises to come...and, when they do, receive them with a full and grateful heart and follow the direction in which they lead us.

We are truly Co-Creators with the Divine Universe and this glorious experience is meant to be joyous and full of delight.  The writers of our "GLEE" await our focused and conscious dreaming.  Are you ready?

image from blingee.com

Whither Thou Goest

One of the most prevalent emotional conditions experienced by persons in our culture is the state of being Co-Dependent.


In CO-DEPENDENCE we link the state of our happiness to the state of someone else's...we are dependent on someone else' s reaction or feeling and we let that reaction or feeling from another dictate how we are.

The reason we do this is because we have experienced pain from confrontation or abandonment and we fear the repeat of this experience. We fear it so much that we are constantly watchful and attentive to the emotional state of those around us...we try to keep them happy and satisfied but we are always ready for (and even expect) pain at any second.

Unconscious childhood wounds make us vulnerable to whatever someone else is going through. We are witnesses to their displeasure and immediately proceed to claim it as our own, not recognizing or acknowledging that we are separate individuals.

We are DEPENDENT on others for our emotional well-being.


The dysfunction we experienced as a child prevents us from clearly asking for what we would like to have (we don't feel the freedom to do this and the confidence that our request will be well-received). And because we have not entered into a dialogue to explain how we feel and invited an explanation of how another feels, we instead set up our own expectations regarding how we would like someone to act (and this feels safer for we can do it in our own minds without taking the chance of involving someone else and having to deal with what might be said).Unfortunately, when we do not get the results we have expected (which occurs because we have not discussed the preferences of both parties), we then suffer.

And the fact is...we have brought that suffering on ourselves.


We have assumed that the things that have meaning and significance to us have the same meaning and significance to others. And when that meaning and significance are not similarly acknowledged, we draw the conclusion that we are not cared about.


And so we suffer. And needlessly...for every individual develops his own preferences and attaches his own meanings to objects and experiences. Just because someone has not acted in the way we would does not mean that the person does not care for us. What it does mean is that we have not bravely asked for what we would prefer and invited another to tell us his requests.


It is sometimes very frightening for co-dependent persons to have a direct conversation regarding their preferences but it is THE WAY to ensure that a decision can be negotiated...and agreed upon in a manner that will satisfy all parties involved.


When we do recognize that WE are the cause of our suffering because of experiences we have endured...we can clearly see that WE also have the power to change it. Though it can be a challenging and unfamiliar road to follow, it is the formula for self-approval, satisfaction and inner peace.


Obviously, our soul contract has been designed by us to include this very important work. We can transcend the sense of feeling helpless and vulnerable by speaking our truth and listening to others' truth, thereby emerging into independent, self-accepting and self-approving individuals who have come to terms with a limitation and turned it into a confident and self-caring lifestyle.




I speak my truth
so that I can keep my Heart FREE TO FLY.
I listen to your truth so that you Can Join Me. 


Mystic Marks: Bookmarks for the Soul




originally printed June 29, 2011

Me and My "Shadow"

The plaintiff lyrics of the wistful  ballad, "Me and My Shadow", describe the loneliness of being "all alone and feeIin' blue".  It's a beautiful song, with a melodious refrain, but it's the stereotyped version of the shadow.

The Divine Universe has something else in mind. 

The SHADOW which the Divine Universe provides us with is none other than our own HIGHER SELF and there is nothing sad or lonely about this companion. 

Our HIGHER SELF embodies unconditional love, mastery, brilliance, compassion, sensitivity, power.  The list goes on.  

This significance of this "shadow"  is the fact that HIGHER SELF is ALWAYS with us.  We can choose not to be aware, to fail to connect with this power...to go alone on our own path, but support and assistance and wisdom ARE within our reach in this glorious, yes..luminous, "shadow" which we all possess.

HIGHER SELF reveals itself to us on so many occasions...IF we are listening.

Recently, I did some reading on the concept of  Surrender...something which has intrigued me greatly and, in this moment, I WAS listening carefully.   Up until that point I had thought that the guidance to Surrender (which I had read in many different places) meant stop trying to solve the problem.   But now I saw a new interpretation of Surrender...and it was Surrendering to the experience itself (and not just to the issue of discovering the solution).

Shortly after this I found myself unable to find my way through a difficulty of some magnitude.  I decided to try "Surrendering to the experience itself" and was astounded to discover that no sooner had I taken that step, the wisdom of many insights began to enter into my consciousness.  

I had acknowledged the challenge facing me and accepted it (surrendered to it) with amazing results. 

Which leads me to the questions:   

Is it our earthwork to realize that in this illusion we call LIFE it is our job to "see" we are not alone and open the door to guidance from HIGHER SELF?  

Is  the door closed until WE open it by acknowledging the power and wisdom we already possess and which is housed in our HIGHER SELF?

Later I had still another experience of HIGHER SELF support. 

At this time I found myself affected by a comment which triggered an emotional memory of pain.  I chose at that point to be completely aware of my body's reaction and to stay in that place of great mindfulness until my body became calm so that my hippocampus could have the time and opportunity to reframe the experience of pain. 

Here again I found my "Shadow", HIGHER SELF, stepping in to help me see that the pain I had been experiencing was only the result of the earth journey I was on (with its accompanying lessons to be learned).  

The truth is that I am (as are you) ALREADY perfect as embodied in HIGHER SELF. 

It is only in this experience (life) that we take on the veil of forgetfulness  that we are ALREADY perfect... ALREADY whole...luminous and loving....and courageous enough to take on our earthly journey to learn lessons within this dimension.

And, as real and as intense as they may feel, our experiences here are ONLY the illusions of our earth journey.

What magnificent wisdom is possessed in that glorious entity, our heavenly "Shadow"...what brilliant insights...what support and affirmation...what reassurance and peace!

Know that this most wonderful Shadow is unconditionally following your life...with curiosity and delight and unquestioning support. 

You are NOT alone.

image from thornesquest.com 

originally printed November 21, 2011

Kotodama

The Japanese believe there is a mystical force inherent in language...that words have a special spiritual effect on the world. They call this concept Kotodama.
I love this concept because I am a lover of language, a wordsmith. The words I choose to use are very important to me because I sense and feel their power.


In his book The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz discusses what he calls
The Impeccability of the Word.

Put very simply, this means using your Word in the direction of love and truth.It is so important to be authentic in our messages. This is the most efficient and direct path to clear communication.

To do this takes courage, a strong sense of self and the motivation and commitment to speak our truth. This is not always easy for we sometimes want to hide from transparency and avoid revealing our thoughts.

But those hidden thoughts do not stay under cover forever and will sneak out at a future time in a show of attitude or a statement possibly expressed in an unpleasant moment of tension or stress.

Much better to give a mindful, forthright message when we have taken the time and consideration to choose our words with loving and conscious intent.

One important question to ask ourselves is how can I speak my truth AND be sure to express it in a way that would enhance someone's life.

This is where the aspect of LOVE enters in. And here we can be of great assistance to each other.

If we experience anxiety about the word or words being used in a message we can take steps to address this situation.

By sharing the story of what a particular word or phrase means to us we can help someone understand what message is being received. This may not be the message that is being sent but if a particular word or phrase evokes for us a sense of unease and, if we have not yet been able to fully deal with this issue, the sharing of this context can help increase the caring and compassion transpiring between the two individuals.

The sender of the message can also explain the intention behind the words and thereby clarify its meaning from that point of view. Together, an understanding can be reached as to how to best "voice" the message.

In this way the current soul meaning of the "language" for both individuals can be understood and honored...a true gesture of love.


This kind of communication takes a special intent and effort on the part of both persons involved in the interaction but it has great power to accomplish two things:

To give a clear, authentic and meaningful message
and
To enhance the relationship between two individuals by honoring the souls' point of evolution.

If we choose to embrace the practice of Kotodama as we interact with each other...we will most assuredly strengthen our relationships and, on a global level, we will all move forward into a more loving Universe.

originally printed April 8, 2011