The Acceptance of Grief

Whenever we experience a loss...and, especially, a significant loss...we are thrust with great impact into the work of GRIEVING.

The process of grief can occur quite naturally for us if we have a clear channel open to our emotions.  

Hopefully, we have been fortunate enough to learn by instruction, example or experience the importance of letting ourselves feel and express our emotions...such a significant lesson to learn for our happiness and health.  

And, because we have learned this lesson, we are able to allow ourselves to experience the natural expression of our pain and distress.

This reflection is not about that process. 

 It is about what happens AFTER  we grieve.  

We may be able to express our emotions freely whether it is through words or tears or sensory experiences of the body.  But where that grief takes us NEXT is worth pondering.

The grieving process can leave us with a heaviness and sadness...permeating our day as we carry it through our every thought, word or action.

The process can color our day so strongly that it seems impossible to get out from under this storm.

Or...

This process can free our spirit 

as the rain opens the sky to the sun...

as Mother Earth nurtures the seeds which have been planted on her terrain...

as the crying baby responds to having its needs met and now sees the world with eyes of beauty and wonder.

The process of grieving is truly beautiful...

representing our connection with another,
our treasuring of the gifts of that connection  

and, because we enter directly into feeling the experience, it represents our ACCEPTANCE of the natural unfolding of the Divine Universe.  

This unfolding carries the truths of the universe, some easy to embrace, some more challenging. 

There is nothing for us to do but BE in this moment.

Like the underside of a work of embroidery, our lives can appear to have many loose, chaotic strands, but when we turn the fabric over the beauty that is intended emerges.

In our earth journey we mostly see the haphazard strands with no clear pattern emerging...but our spirit knows the beauty of the work of art that is our lives and the way in which that art is unfolding.

An awareness of and a faith in this process help us to know on a soul level that the acceptance of our expression of grief is an affirmation of our humanity.

It is a gift...a cleansing...ultimately nurturing and preparing us for whatever work lies ahead in our journey. 

It is an important part of the rhythm and music and pace of LIFE itself.

                                 Marie Helena 

The Ides of March

L

Let go of the need to defend your position.

       don Miguel Ruiz



It happens so easily to all of us.  We suddenly find ourselves in the middle of a highly spirited discussion and discover that we are face to face with an opposing or alternate perspective and so we automatically step into the role of “defender” of our position, digging in our heels...gently at first and then with increased vigor...as we set out to convince others of our point of view.  

What is it that encourages and even entices us to go for the “win”?  What is it that is driving this behavior that is so prevalent...and even predictable in the human psyche?

And, while we ponder that, imagine how disarming it would be to encounter an individual who has no need to convince everyone of the validity of his position, no need to be recognized by everyone as holding the "right" answer.


I had my own personal encounter with a situation like this a few years ago during a holiday gathering at our home.  It was a very subtle experience but later I strongly felt the significance of the moment.

Several people had been invited over for the holidays and we were chatting happily and enjoying the interchange.  I am not sure how we landed on this topic, but someone introduced the subject of 
The Ides of March.

At that point, I enthusiastically interjected myself into the conversation, remarking that I happened to know that The Ides of March fell on March 12th and that I knew this because The Ides of March was the birthday of a good friend of mine with whom I had worked.  One of our guests commented that The Ides of March was actually on March 15th.   At this observation, I strongly asserted that I was certain it was the 12th and that I had a memory of holding a very specific intention to recall that particular date.  After my interjection our guest declined to assert his belief that March 15 was the date in question and the group moved on past the consideration of the event’s date to its actual meaning.

By the way, Wikipedia describes The Ides of March as "a day in the calendar notable for the Romans as a deadline for settling debts."


This little incident was long forgotten by me until  a few months later on March 15 when I happened to hear a commentator announce that it was The Ides of March.

Oooooops!  I thought and looked online to verify this unexpected piece of information.  As I absorbed the correction, two thoughts circled in my brain.  The first was:  How did I ever confuse this date and become so convinced that I had it right?  The second was:  What a considerate 
guest we had hosted at our home that evening during the holidays.  The visitor had obviously known his information was right and yet he chose not to make a point of debating this with me in front of the others.

This gesture of his felt important to me.  I saw this behavior as evidence of his generosity and thoughtfulness and I made a point of telling him so the next time we spoke.


How refreshing it had been to engage with someone who was not harboring a strong competitive need to prove his point.  And, on the fifteenth of March, the point was made for itself quietly and with no aggressive fanfare.


This choice of action of our guest that night most certainly revealed his honoring and understanding of human emotions.  Giving me the opportunity to learn for myself what I did not know was actually very profound.  He clearly saw that the date itself was not the primary issue and neither was emerging as the person who had all of the answers.  

He had no need to engage in a battle of rightness; he just wanted the opportunity to plant the seed of what he knew to be true.

This individual was obviously able to enter into a moment and quietly leave his gentle signature on it, inviting others to engage with the information in the perfect moment for them.  No need to defend...just a subtle awareness and affirmation of how we learn best when we are in the most relaxed and curious frame of mind.

What a splendid idea!  No “debt settling” of The Ides of March...rather just an eloquent exploration.


                                                                                                     Marie Helena

The Office Manager

Good MORNING! This is the Office Manager.


Your soul station directs, your life force moves and we choreograph your day!

What is your pleasure this morning? We have several packages always available for you. 

The Blues Cruise
Are you in the mood for a sad day where everything seems to be slipping away from you?


Perhaps you’d like...

The Gothic Glow
Mostly dark with a small spotlight shining on all of your problems.


Or,  you might prefer

The Rainbow Reward
No matter how things unfold, there is always the hint of a rainbow around the corner, encouraging you to keep moving.


Or,

The Sunshine Stream
A bright and focused light helps you to examine each event and circumstance in a dispassionate and objective manner.


Then, there is what is rapidly becoming our most popular package,

Love Light
A sprinkling of moonbeams falls gently on every moment helping you see with soul eyes what is really happening.



Remember, we are not limited to these packages. We can design whatever you can imagine.

Please leave your order for the day and the heartbeat at which you can be reached for delivery.

Hot Pink Gloves and the Boomeranging Bands

Last Monday I sat waiting in my podiatrist’s office for his nurse to take an impression of my feet for a new set of inserts for my shoes.  I have cuboid bones that randomly like to “relocate”, launching parties of misalignment, inviting my knees and sacrum to go rogue and join in the fun.  Needless to say, my visits to the podiatrist (though wonderfully philosophical) are serious and necessary.  So, on this day, I was expecting a rather scientific procedure coming my way when in walked the doc’s nurse waving hot pink rubber gloves in the air which matched none of her attire and, therefore, seemed incongruous and rather hilarious.

It wasn’t long before I could see how perfectly they suited her persona because she immediately launched into a vaudeville routine as she began the work of preparing me for the impression.  As she delightfully performed for her audience of one, she made a point of warning me that the black elastic bands she was about to use to secure my plaster booties have been known on occasion to boomerang off the walls.  As if to highlight their adventurous nature, the black cords sported a blue bauble on them and I was struck by how prettily they accented the hot pink gloves even while I could hardly keep from laughing as every comment she made seemed to outdo the humor of the previous retort. 

Now, mind you, I was supposed to be sitting still and relaxing during this procedure and this was no easy task since the doc’s nurse was so funny and entertaining.  After she finished her work on my feet, she ceremoniously took an elegant Shakespearean bow at the doorway and invited the doc back into the room, announcing him as the next act with an excellent vaudeville-worthy introduction.

OMG, I thought...what great fun this was!  The energy...the delight...the unexpectedness of it all.  I found myself wishing I could program my entire day in this exhilarating vibration and then wondered...why not?  Of course I could do this.  The routine performance of our daily tasks usually feels like punching a notch on our to-do belt.  You know...that heavy belt that grows more cumbersome as the day progresses.

Where are our hot pink rubber gloves?  Our boomeranging black elastic bands? Our Shakespearean bows?  The FLOURISH of ourimagination?

Tomorrow I awake with a new Shakespearean mantra:

The game’s afoot.  Let us have pomp and circumstance!



                                                   Marie Helena

image from moziru.com

Secrets of the Universe

Spiritual author Gary Zukav tells us that when we practice acts of  
love, fear begins to disappear from our lives.

What an intriguing thought:  The on-going offering of love releases fear!

 
As I reflect on this concept, a simple, mathematical observation comes to me.

I have read authors on many occasions who say that there are only two primary emotions:  love and fear...and so it seems to me that if one of these emotions prevails, the other will only take up the space that is left.  

And, to extend this thought even further...

If Love is fully present in every moment, there will be no space for fear.  

Could it be that simple? 

Perhaps there is also something intrinsic to this equation regarding the substance of love...and fear.

Love implies a fullness of heart...generosity, caring, compassion..joy that is waiting to be shared.  Fear implies a lack...of abundance, of trust, of safety.
 

In order to feel joyful and generous I think we must first feel EASE and SAFETY and, perhaps, that is the first and possibly most important thing that love gives us...a sense of safety...the feeling of "home"...a place where we are free to be ourselves and know "it's all good".
 

So, perhaps, the question is:  Can we look at the world and sense this AWESOME FEELING OF SAFETY?

Can we find it in the order and cycle of the seasons moving through the year?

Can we see it in the way a tree takes root and grows?  

Can we feel it in the rhythm of a fetus growing in the womb and, after birth, progressing steadily and in perfect order through the stages of life? 

 

Perhaps the consideration of these beautifully orchestrated events can provide us with the sense that we ARE safe...that there is a Divine Order at work and a loving and caring Creator authoring this order.  

And, if we are, indeed, safe, we can relax into ease and naturally share that beautiful space with others.  

This, then, delivers us directly into love.
 

And, when we practice acts of love and nurture it, love grows exponentially.  And the MORE we love, the less room there is for fear.
 
The choice is ours:  expansion or contraction...love or fear?

The structural beauty of the universe seems to offer the evidence of expansion (Love).  Is the possibility of this conclusion yet another gift we have been given?


                                      Marie Helena



image from emergent-culture.com

A New Dimension

“I don’t do anything unless I’m inspired.”

                                 

                                           Fenna Diephuis

Visions of sugarplums, dainty silver bells and silvery fairy dust danced through my bewildered mind one wintry afternoon not long ago when my friend Fenna made this comment to me.  What a wonderful world it would be to live like this, I breathlessly imagined. 

Then, after my initial reaction of Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, I tried to seriously visualize myself living in this radically magical way Fenna had described.  My first and very logical reaction was No Way.

Too many things to take care of.  Too big of a To Do list.  And the inevitable sense of disappointment in myself if I didn’t finish my self appointed tasks of everyday life. Lots of real work needs to be taken care of whether I am in the mood or not.

But, despite my left brain, lawyer- like rationalization, I found myself clearly enchanted with the dreamy possibility of living life in this glorious fashion.  If everything I chose to do felt like I was living out a spontaneous wish, I would, of course, truly enjoy doing it, I reasoned.  What a wonderful way to experience my life.  But how to access this intriguing state of Inspiration and to take up residence there...those were the questions I pondered.

I asked myself what beautiful ambiance, what mystical setting gives birth to inspiration?  Or, to put it in more colloquial terms, what actually goes on in this mysterious and magical “hood”?

Seems like there has to be some dancing...real (for dancing always raises our vibration) or metaphorical (a dancing spirit).  

And, borrowing from the name of a critically acclaimed movie, the Incredible Lightness of Being must be present.  There has to be a connection with the Universe, a trusting that we are cared for and guided.  That we need only let go of “trying” and let ourselves receive.  That we choose to move through life openly and gracefully in this state of anticipation and appreciation before these gifts are even delivered to us.

And, most certainly, there must be curiosity about this incredible quantum world in which we find ourselves.  And a sense of wonderment about what we have still to learn.  How all of life’s creations interact with each other.  And how we are all a part of this continuing network and dialogue of caring and cooperation.

With this dancing spirit, curiosity and wonderment and an incredible lightness of being, how could we not be inspired to enjoy and appreciate and to want to learn more about this magical playground of our lives?  And, as we move in the spirit of love, we draw more love to ourselves.  The wondrous law of vibrational attraction, yet another fascinating gift of the Universe in which we live.

Is that fairy dust falling ever so gracefully in my heart as I contemplate the Joy of inhabiting this new dimension of possibility?

                                             Marie Helena

image from Pinterest Watercolor Fantasy and Fairy art by Sarah Pauline

The Ride of Your Life

Spiritual writer Eckhaart Tolle comments often about the power of the Present Moment and the importance of our acceptance of it.  

Recently, I encountered

a quote of his in which he goes beyond that guidance, instructing us to do more than just take the Moment and reconcile ourselves to it.

Here is the leap he is recommending.

"Accept - then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."  

And Tolle promises us that this action "will miraculously transform" our whole lives.

What a  powerful concept to consider!  

This action would ensure a strong forward movement in life without the doubts and misgivings that we sometimes harbor about the choices of our actions.

If we were actually able to do as Tolle suggests, what would that say about us?

It would say that we trust we are unconditionally loved and cared for.

It would say we have an unshakable faith in the wisdom of  Divine Guidance.


It would say that we understand that everyone and everything exists together in the Divine Matrix. 

It would say  we are not attached to the whisperings of our ego.

It would say we have chosen the creativity and excitement of the spiritual evolutionary path over the comfort of old " fixes".

It would say that we watch with anticipation and expectation for synchronicities to show up and point us to areas of our lives that need attention.

What a system!  

Could  it be more perfect?

If you were to take an audit on the stipulations listed above...where would you land? 

Are you ready to take the ride of your life?