Fierce

Fierce...a robust and often frightening word in our language.

What images arise for you as you think of this word?

Powerful, intimidating, formidable, daunting?   This has always been my perception of that alarming term, conjuring images of lions, tigers, snakes hiding in the grass.

Scary stuff.  Someone else’s stuff.  Not me.
I am not into voice raising, feet stomping, king-of-the-jungle fever.


Until...someone told me I was fierce. 


Wait just a moment...Did I get that right?  Someone was describing me with THAT word?

This unexpected depiction of me as fierce did not make sense to me UNTIL I pondered the objective I had achieved in the “conversation” in which I had participated with this individual...AND, most importantly, in the way I had achieved it.  


Something different from the ordinary had happened for me in this surprising interaction.    Instead of using my beloved intellectual approach of giving the many “reasons” favoring my position on the question at hand, I had unexpectedly defaulted to my heart. 

And, while responding from that new source of perception, I had naturally leveled my gaze, giving prolonged eye contact that was clearly broadcasting an impending heart message and then ever so softly whispered these simple words with power and compassion:  “This isn’t working for me.”

Fierce.. .in its intensity...though whisper soft in  its presentation.  The message gently introduced with the grace and clarity of soft eyes heralding an imminent and important memo from the heart.  Fiercely powerful.

The result of this prima volta that had entered my life?

The “fierceness” resting tranquil in the gentle softness of my open heart had delivered my message in a way that no amount of persuasion could have accomplished.


Definitely worth pondering...


After some moments of quiet contemplation I decided I liked this new personal characterization of me as “fierce”.  The beautiful heart connection I had defaulted to had delivered my message with effortless elegance and great success and it had proceeded naturally with no interference from my sometimes impatient intellect.  And so I began to practice this new intention easily finding the perfect moments for it revealing themselves to me with gracious invitation.


What a lovely awakening for my personal evolution!

THIS precious unfolding is how the heart communicates...with loving and gentle intention, profound impact, stunning success.

So quietly and beautifully FIERCE.



                                                                        Marie Helena



image from pinterest

The Back Story

One of the most essential tasks facing the news reporter is the discovery of THE BACK STORY explaining why an event has occurred.  

Therein lies the impetus...the driving force...of the action.  And it's not always readily available or easy to discern. 

Sometimes, reporters have to switch hats, becoming the investigator, the detective or even the psychologist.

What is behind or in "back" of a person's actions is very instructive...even fascinating.  That is why reporters need to be open to discovering this "bigger" story.

 
But why should reporters have all the fun? 


Let us suppose that we decide to become the "journalist" as we go through our day encountering family, friends,  neighbors, sales persons, ińdividuals shopping alongside us, gas station attendants, the drivers on the road.


One thing we can be very sure of...everyone has a back story.  As we reflect on this concept, several considerations about this arise.

 
What joys have these individuals experienced?  What obstacles  have they encountered? What has broken their hearts?  Lifted them up?  What do they struggle with?  Blame themselves for?  Cry over (symbolically or literally)?


And, most importantly, what has transpired today...before we
encountered them?  What pain might they be feeling?  What happiness are they celebrating?  What affirmation from us could  bring Light or Joy to their hearts?   

Typically, people react to their experience of what a person says or does to them...or, perhaps, to the person's tone or body language.   In short, we react to how we "perceive" a person makes us feel.  And if it's an "ouch" that we feel, it's VERY easy to drop into annoyance, frustration...or even anger.


Two things about this. 


First...whatever reaction we choose to have to an encounter is exactly that...our CHOICE.  No one MAKES us do or feel anything.


Second, there is the question...HOW do we learn to offer a response that would be life enhancing for us (and for the other person) while we may be hearing uncomfortable things said to us?



THIS is the perfect place to put on our reporter's hat (or hats...whatever is called for in this circumstance) and go to work on finding the back story.  

Unearthing this information will bring a new perspective to this moment.  And even though it might be impossible to unearth it right then,  I am betting that we can sense the emotional import of the back story and how it has affected the person with whom we are interacting. 


Now, as we sense this person's anxiety or distress or frustration, the tense tone in their voice doesn't feel personal and we move directly into a moment of concern for the person's situation.  That's a far cry from entering into the fray and making a heated moment grow even more intense.

And, while we are learning how to gracefully include this loving gesture into our personal repertoire, let's give ourselves special consideration for our own back story as it reveals itself in the moments of our life.


The effort to look beyond the obvious seems like a wise investment.


Whenever we are able to take into account the BIG PICTURE

 (that's present moment awareness AND the consideration of the many interweaving threads that make up a back story),

we are able to move effortlessly into the beauty of Compassion...a wonderful choice that is always available to us.

                                                             Marie Helena

image from ifanboy.com

Old Fashioned Wisdom

  

  Many of us have been very fortunate to spend special time with our grandparents or members of the older generation who instructed us in the lessons they learned in their lives...lessons that were packed with practical, OLD FASHIONED WISDOM. 


These lessons imparted a beautiful work ethic to us. They embraced the value of generous love and compassion AND of self-discipline.  They also instructed us in many skills needed in caring for the home and family.  Many delicious recipes, for example, were shared in those old-fashioned kitchens.  Generous instructions were doled out about the secrets of preparing meals for the family.

One of the most interesting and significant pieces of wisdom imparted by our family angels is the importance of blending ingredients well when baking.  The RITUAL of holding a large mixing bowl and wooden spoon or spatula and lovingly blending the batter was an important activity for them for this investment of time and energy produced a delicious gift for all to enjoy...a heavenly, scrumptious offering straight from the oven that gave us the wonderful enjoyment of physical satisfaction but also conveyed the joy of feeling loved and cared for.

 Interestingly, the old-fashioned wisdom of "blending well" with conscious, loving attention extends much further than the kitchen.  It is a wonderful LIFE MANTRA for human interaction.  Because we all have our own unique view of life and our own "recipe" for how to navigate it, it is natural that we often find ourselves surrounded with differing ideas about how to decide on a course of action.  Where someone might prefer the aggressive approach of "chopping" through the ingredients, another might prefer "meandering" through the territory...possible even "tiptoeing" over the terrain. Sometimes we have what appears to be wildly differing views of how to approach something and this seems to be the most important time to consider and honor all of the "ingredients" of that moment.

And we HONOR that moment by not only patiently explaining our view of the situation but also, and equally important, gently working to understand what each individual is perceiving and suggesting.  When we continue to try to understand the feelings and thoughts and needs of others and we also receive the benefit of others trying to understand us, a beautiful "blending" of the differing views always emerges.  An unfolding...a compromise which somehow meets the needs of all individuals involved in the interaction in a new, unanticipated and creative manner.
 
It feels like the Divine Universe is witnessing our common compassion and is leading and guiding us to a beautiful blending of all of our interests and needs.  The generous impulse to take the time to patiently "blend well" the ideas and thoughts and feelings of all individuals...the loving desire to meet the needs of everyone involved...always produces an answer that is perfect-for-that-moment!  The gifts we receive from the "grandparents" in our lives are more bountiful than we might realize.  Old fashioned wisdom for kitchen...or conversation.... pouring through our beautiful memories connects us with the precious heart wisdom of all generations.


                                                                                   
                                                                                       Marie Helena
 


image from the graphicsfairy.com

Bella Luce

To speak wisely, one must listen humbly.

- Si Yo Tanka
  (John Two-Hawks), Lakota



In our fast paced, frenzied world of Instagrams, Snapchat, Twitter and Facebook, the “listening” we do is usually along the lines of a lightning fast “gotcha...and let me tell you what I think about this”.  Snappy repartee, glib retorts, occasional one-up-manship… for sure.

Soul Satisfying?  Hmmmmm.  Not so much.

It’s often pure and simple gamesmanship. No table board necessary.  Just grab your iphone or other techno gadget and “Go”.  Who can answer first?  Who has the best story?  Who gets the most hits?

And, there is a place for all of this fun but the Authentic human connection that Si Yo Tanka is describing is a very different enterprise. 

It takes an INVESTMENT of time and energy,
the creation of a safe environment,
and a real desire to hear and understand the emotions that will, hopefully, reveal themselves.


So often in conversation we automatically fill in the blanks.  We hear a part of what someone is saying and then, relying on our own world of experience, assume we know the rest.  But everyone’s story is unique to them.  And it is shaped, forged, shimmered and frosted with an array of EMOTIONS we might never imagine.  Emotions that reveal so much about the rock, the wave, or even the precipice each individual is resting on.  And anyone who truly wants to tell us their story is most profoundly in need of some deep listening, some compassion...a true heart connection.

When we give this gift of compassionate listening to others, we “speak wisely”.
Our silent acknowledgment itself “speaks wisely” for in taking the time to listen deeply we affirm the  individual’s profound significance. 

By our actions we say:
I am here for you. 
You are important to me. 
I want to understand what you are feeling. 

And, In so doing, we strengthen and ease the way for him or her to do the difficult work of addressing the issues weighing on his emotions:  

Moving through the dissonance of the moment,
Ascertaining and accepting the body’s message, 
And holding space for its wisdom to reveal itself.



Listening to another in this way is truly humble.  There is no need for the ego to intervene and direct the drama.  Only the precious opportunity to express the caring and concern of a fellow earth traveler who believes we all share common challenges and we all hold the strength, power and beauty to find our way through them.  That strength, power and beauty in others often show themselves more readily when we make the time to acknowledge their existence.

We are all fellow travelers and sometimes we encounter caverns of darkness.  The deep, humble listening of Si Yo Tanka that we give to each other is a gift of grace lighting the way to someone’s peace and transformation. 

Bella Luce!


                                                             Marie Helena

image from pinterest

Drifting

Now that the beautiful blush of spring is finding its way onto the universal earth campus, there will be a myriad of opportunities to indulge our awakening senses. 

Gazing at the beautiful blossoms gently emerging on the branches of welcoming trees.  Spying the sprightly, chattering birds returning to their home bases.  And lazily watching the cottony clouds roll by. Rolling in a soft, billowy fashion… Drifting… gently drifting...quietly finding their way.


Just contemplating the drifting clouds feels like a meditation to me.  And I wonder if it has to do with the very concept of drifting.  That word feels like ease to me.  Sprezzatura... the Italians might call it...effortless elegance.


Does the effortless elegance I perceive here manifest itself to me because the clouds have aligned with their nature and are simply...and profoundly... being who they are? 


What if we, like the clouds, were to align with OUR nature:  Divine beings playing on our verdant, lush planet of infinite possibility?


If we could recognize our magical playground, perhaps we would find it easier to embrace our self-designed challenges and gently direct ourselves into a reframing of what feels like difficult circumstances from our earth school view. 
,
Perhaps then we could move on to envision and embrace the gentle changes, the shifts in behavior, which could incrementally bring us into alignment with our Higher Selves.  In the most loving, harmonious way. DRIFTING  back into the beautiful beings we truly are.

                                                                                   Marie Helena

image from pinterest

Here Comes Da Judge

The great spiritual teacher J. Krishnamurti said the highest form of human intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judgment.  And this is no small task for we all carry an imaginary presence inside of us which we automatically gift with authority and respectability (even though its voice is a hindrance and not a help).  

 My sister calls the arrival of our guest "Here Comes Da Judge".


Imagine our magistrate attired in formal black robe and the British judicial white wig altercating furiously for air time in our consciousness.   If he wasn't so annoying and didn't dredge up old feelings of unworthiness, this creature would be quite amusing.  But the fact is the appearance of our judge introduces negative energy into our aura. Yikes!

What in the world can be done about this vexing creature?

I am thinking this is the perfect time to call in the resources of our Left Brain and turn this disturbing image into a Subject of Study rather than a schlepper of suffering. 


It's "white coat time" and, though you will not be donning the pristine uniform in reality, at least "white coat" your mental process and steer yourself away from subjugating your psyche to the judgmental pronouncements. 

Collect data.  Be curious.  Experiment.  Be a scientist.  Watch how often your "Judge" makes an appearance...and under what conditions and circumstances.  Look for patterns in the magistrate's behavior.  Note his verbal nuances and the disapproving posture and attitude. 

Why would Krishnamurti call observation without judgment the highest form of human intelligence?  Because we cannot attain wisdom (sense of or understanding of something) while we are mired down with the weight of self condemnation. 

 Instead, we need to be able to see the broader view of what is transpiring, how it presents itself, what connections exist within the issue, how we fit into the equation.  We must be free from self judgment for self judgment obscures our vision because of the heavy emotional outlay and prevents us from ascertaining the energies at work.

Once we can see those energies (expectations of society and figures of authority, cries of the ego for attention, co-dependence on others' emotions, etc.), we gain clarity regarding where we are giving our power away and we can make choices regarding how WE choose to respond to the opinions and expectations of others.


It is a natural, human reaction to fall under the heavily subjective influence of our "Judge".  It is cutting edge to take an impartial look at how this magistrate's leverage has materialized.  And it is cutting edge to release this figure's hold on our emotions.


                                                                                               Marie Helena



graphics from can stock.com

Down the Rabbit Hole: Alice Discovers the Rulebooks

There was soooo much to discover, Alice realized, as she blinked repeatedly, wide-eyed at the strange goings-on in the rabbit hole.  


The bizarre behavior she encountered from the various creatures chattering and buzzing about made no sense to her UNTIL she realized that it MADE SENSE to them.  And that was the very secret she uncovered that helped her to understand and navigate this bewildering territory.  
 
Apparently, each of the characters in the rabbit hole had his or her own Rulebook.  And each Rulebook was different from all the others.  It seemed these Rulebooks were not easy to come by and one had to experience some perilous adventures to earn this achievement.  And, furthermore, she discovered, the precepts written in the Rulebooks might magically disappear at any time to be replaced with new prescriptions.  It all seemed to depend on the actions of the characters, she observed, though she wasn't sure that they realized they had this power.

The Rulebooks seemed to be especially important to Alice because they helped her make sense of the thespians' behavior.  Alice began to pay close attention to the interface of the characters' actions and what she deduced was written in their Rulebooks and things began to make sense to her.  She realized that the Rules were there to protect each character.  They appeared in the Rulebook as needed and could be changed or even erased depending on what the character learned from his experiences.
 
Not every character down the rabbit hole was ready to learn anything.  Many of them seemed agitated and anxious; some were totally convinced they already knew everything.  The behavior they exhibited often tried Alice's patience but, over time, she realized they were stuck in a default loop that kept repeating itself.
 
What was Alice to do?  At first, she tried to argue with them; later, she avoided their company as best she could.  But Alice was not happy doing this and she WANTED to be...even if she WAS smack in the center of the rabbit hole.

One day Alice was in an especially happy mood and she decided to try to be VERY patient with the mad hatter.  She listened patiently while he hopped in circles, talking incessantly, trying her best to be attentive and understand what he was saying.  Then, a funny thing happened.  The Mad hatter began to notice that Alice was paying attention and he was NOT used to anyone REALLY listening to him.  He began to look at Alice every few seconds while he was chattering and, then, an amazing thing occurred.  He began to speak slower and slower and before long he slid onto a toadstool near Alice and stopped talking completely, watching her face for a response.

Alice was amazed.  No one had EVER slowed down the mad hatter before.  What was happening here, she wondered.  As Alice continued to give her rapt attention to him, she saw a light began to shine in his eyes.  The light grew bigger and brighter.  Soon it spread to his whole body.  Oh my, thought Alice...he is GLOWING.
 
Alice thought about his new behavior.  She had been very sure that the Mad Hatter's Rulebook stated that he should keep moving and chattering away as that is what he always did.  Now, it seemed to Alice, that his behavior had changed and, therefore, his Rules.
 
How did this happen, Alice wondered.  She had not tried to talk the Mad Hatter into doing things differently.  She had not argued with him nor tried to persuade him to make a change.  In fact, she had done her best to honor and respect his frantic behavior.  Alice felt the erratic movements of the Mad Hatter must have been prescribed in his Rulebook and that the Rule must have existed for some good reason even if she didn't know what it was.  What she had done now was just give the Mad Hatter her interest and care...and he had noticed...and it had circumvented his usual pattern.

THIS was something VERY significant, Alice thought and wondered about the powerful transformation she had witnessed.  The Mad Hatter was still sitting quietly and he was still glowing very brightly...so brightly that many other creatures wandered over to see what had caused this transformation. 

Alice theorized that if the Mad Hatter was sitting still, then a new Rule must have appeared in his Rulebook for he looked very relaxed and happy.


Suddenly, Alice noticed that the Mad Hatter was beginning to look lighter and lighter.  Soon he seemed almost luminous.  Alice thought he might drift away but instead he began to share his glow with the creatures standing near him.  
 
Alice was amazed and delighted and, most of all, she felt happy.  And that is when the Rules in her Rulebook changed.  She sighed contentedly and plopped onto a nearby toadstool.
 

Who was it, she wondered, who had created the Rulebooks and had mysteriously given each creature the power to change the Rules.  This, she thought, would surely be a great question for one of her next, fabulous adventures.

                                                                               

                                                                                             
                                                                                  Marie Helena




  image from commons.wikimedia.org