Layers of Love

Throughout the day, ask yourself, What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?
         
Marci Shimoff

Did you ever try to do something when you did NOT have the energy for the task...or try to  give someone support or assistance when you were emotionally depleted?

Do you remember what happened? 

Very often this misguided effort leads to complete and unmitigated disaster.   It's very difficult to try to take care of someone else when YOU need taking care of. 

And so my response to this awkward dilemma is DON'T.

DON'T try to do it because the plain fact is you can't give what you ain't got...

So you gotta go get you some.

Some rest...or relaxation...some nourishment or distraction...whatever it is you are in need of.

And, meanwhile, what is to be done about the person waiting for our assistance?

There's a gracious way to handle this. 

ACKNOWLEDGE the request you have received.  EXPRESS your willingness to help (if this is true). And then CONVEY the state of your emotions and energy level.

For example, you  could say...

"I would really like to do this for you...and I will  be happy to...as soon as I can handle it.  Right now I have to give myself some loving attention to keep me centered and take care of what my body is telling me. "

You might get some strange looks the first time you respond like this but, believe me, you are not only taking care of yourself,  you are doing the other person a big favor, too.

When you are able to handle the request you will be a joy to be around.  And how wonderful for them to be able to enjoy your great disposition.

If you try to do something when your body is clearly saying NO you can bet that some evidence in the guise of tone or attitude will slip out from your persona.  And, if this happens, the situation escalates to another level and there is much more to take care of than a simple request.

In approaching things this way you will have also communicated the state of your emotions and energy level, one of the most loving things we can do in the communication process.

So stay in touch with what your body is telling you and give yourself loving attention when you need it and you will also then have a  boatload of loving energy  to give to others, too,

image from yogaomwork.wordpress.com