The Trial

When I was in graduate school pursuing my Master’s Degree, I had a professor who taught an entire course focusing on one single piece of literature:  Franz Kafka’s novel, The Trial.  

 At the time, it seemed strange to me that the entire semester would be devoted to studying just that one novel.  We were required to write a definitive paper for the course about the significance of the novel.  I labored over this assignment for a long period of time but could not seem to determine what it was the professor wanted us to recognize.  Eventually, I had a discussion with a fellow student in the class who explained to me that Kafka’s novel could be read one way to make a very compelling point.  But it could also be read a second way to convey a completely opposite meaning.   


It took a real challenge to my intellect for me to take Kafka’s novel and step back and give it some perspective so that I could  see it from two completely different points of view.  I was finally able to do it, but only now looking at my life experiences do I understand what I think the method was in my professor’s “madness“.


This morning, many years later, I feel I am finally realizing the rationale my professor might very well have had in mind.  This graduate school course exercise seems to me now to be designed to reinforce an important truth about life:  We see what we already believe or, to be more precise, what we are prepared and willing to believe about the world and, most especially, about ourselves.


It is incredibly easy to see what we EXPECT to be there…what we already believe about ourselves and others.  The life snapshots we click on seem so real and so “rational” and so we file them away as objective evidence of the beliefs we are already holding, completely ignoring the fact that they validate and justify the life conclusions we have made to that point in time which steadfastly occupy the submerged part of the iceberg which is our subconscious.

And so, trapped in the tundra of our early life impressions and experiences, how do we emerge to free ourselves and discover what else the canvas holds?

My graduate school professor MADE us look for more and I am left with the prospect of considering whether there is ALWAYS more.  And it seems to me there is and failing to recognize that is to overlook important information that would increase our awareness of the issues that complicate our lives and our empathy for the individuals struggling through them.


What if, as a practice, we made ourselves search for whatever could prove the opposite of what we believe?

Where could this lead us?  Would it make us more empathic?  More open?  More aware?  More cognizant of vital information?  Would it source all of our actions in LOVE?

Without opening ourselves up to the possibility that there is more to the story, we may very well assign ourselves the role of existing in the small, constructed room we have built around our hearts.  We may fail to see the pain that others are enduring.  We may also fail to see the beauty, the caring, the love that is being expressed to us in ways that we do not readily recognize. 

We need to step out of our own limited experience and open ourselves up to the mystery and wonder of the myriad of ways that people respond to life.

I have heard this profound truth expressed before. I have even recognized myself at times as bound to my currently operating beliefs.  But I have not been moved to transcend this practice until today as I, with great curiosity and excitement, recall my graduate course in Kafka.  

I wonder how many things we experience in life failing to understand the power of their significance.  

It seems worth the effort to move past our already formulated, sometimes cursory assessments and open ourselves up to the mystery hiding in the corners of our lives.  The great thirteenth century mystic Rumi advises us to “sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.”

Following Rumi’s guidance will undoubtedly lead us to some new wisdom.  Perhaps THIS is the real TRIAL awaiting us.  Will we eventually reach the point where we can see beyond the boundaries that we have constructed for ourselves through the necessity for our survival or by the world itself moving through its own evolution?


                                                                                         Marie Helena



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Imprimer à partir d'aquarelle mode Illustration par Mysoulfly ...

The Road Less Traveled*

The Medal...The Prize…The Goal...

The Achievement!!!

The supreme “reward” of reaching our goals exists today as an intense cultural value.  And getting to those goals faster and more efficiently than ever before is considered the capstone of achievement.  The world worships and adulates evidence of this mastery.

But what have we really mastered?

We have learned to be so singularly focused on the prize that we are not aware of the beautiful, engaging experiences we are passing through.  Instead, each moment  recasts itself as a steppingstone to the end goal...something to be managed, dealt with, overcome.  

And we spend great effort and time conditioning ourselves for our performance so that we can endure even while sustaining physical, mental and emotional stress.

This is not a story of beauty and gentleness, of calm and connection.  It is a story of effort rather than enjoyment, stress instead of stillness.

There is, undoubtedly, great value in developing our physical prowess, in the accompanying mental agility

and in the determination and  tenacity that makes these accomplishments possible.

But we must not be so completely consumed by the “trophies” of achievement which we feel define us as winners in the eyes of the world.  We must make room for us to also unwind and soften our ambitions to succeed.

Let’s define ourselves just as profoundly as fully awakened to the world’s  breathtaking beauty, to the exquisite joy of hearing its heartbeat as it manifests in the whimsical daisy, the rush of its rivers, the tawny cat curled sleepily on the porch.  And, most especially, to each other as we share the longings of our souls.

As we continue to climb the  metaphoric hills of our lives,

Let us embrace and ENJOY the bountiful and exquisite gifts of the journey.  

The frantic drive to accomplish our goals is man’s interpretation of achieving success in the world.  Relaxing into its natural elegance and  grace is the Divine Universe’s prescription for finding our JOY.

                       😎🌷🦋🐰🌻🐿🌿🪁

                                               Marie Helena

What a beautiful day.  Summer!!! What a gift.   Feel the warmth of the sun as it permeates your  body and feeds the soul. A good time to relax, meditate and listen. 

                                            Dan Pokora

The Road Less Travelled*

Title credited from a book of the same name by M. Scott Peck

floral image: 

Watercolor paintings

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Remembrance: Why We Should Forgive Ourselves

FORGIVE YOURSELF. 

The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you've created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows,
 
Don Miguel Ruiz

As we write the story of our life, our learning occurs in a myriad of ways.  Sometimes the path is straight and clear.  We take action that feels instinctively right...it works beautifully...we benefit and all is well.
 
Sometimes our learning takes a different path.  

Sometimes we are influenced by unhealed pain, hurt, unmet needs, etc. and we choose a path that is not in our best interest.  But, at that time, the choice we made felt like the only way we could go.

And so we went there.  And it was not what we expected. 

All was not well.  And we ultimately JUDGED ourselves for the choice and stayed mired in sadness and regret. 

Writing the story of our life is not usually a black and white endeavor.  Sometimes we are drawn to what SEEMS like a solution but ultimately does not deliver on that (false) promise. 

 

However, our learning can occur quite brilliantly when we can view our actions with some objectivity...

perhaps uncover what has moved us in that direction...

love ourselves through the pain of self-confrontation,,,

and emerge with a stronger, braver view of what we want to do with our lives.

Judging ourselves (or anyone or anything) is not productive. 

It delays our process of learning.  

What is needed is an open, accepting heart that understands we were trying to navigate some difficulty...a heart which knows that LOVE is always expressing itself the best way it knows how.

What we did is what we knew.  When we know better, we do better.  

And, as we reflect on our choices and their consequences, we begin to know better and we do better.  We pass by judgment, embracing instead our humanity and moving forward with new wisdom and insight.

 

Perhaps the forgiveness which Don Miguel Ruiz is talking about can really be called the simple act of KNOWING that we are on a journey with some distracting side paths which ultimately can lead us to our true destination...a REMEMBERING of the glorious perfection of Who We Truly Are and an acceptance of how learning can occur in a dualistic world.

                                                             Marie Helena

                                                                               

image from salliesart.blogspot.com