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Tuesday, January 16, 2018


Projection is a clever mechanism your subconscious mind uses to make your partner responsible for your old wounds. It's like creating a movie and forgetting that you're the director and the camera person. It really looks like it's all about your partner.

     Katie and Gay Hendricks

The path to demystifying our troubling experiences in life is often clouded with many misguided interpretations. The challenges we face often seem so formidable that we try to solve them by leaping to what feels like a clear and easy explanation. To put it in contemporary advertising terms:  "Mikey did it."

And, yes, it is strangely comforting to always pin whatever is plaguing us on "the other guy".  It takes the spotlight off of us.  WE don't have to change.  Someone else needs to.  And, in doing this, we lapse into the default victim role. And it is completely ineffective in bringing any change into our lives because that "other guy" who is "playing the heavy" is only cuing up the subconscious part of us which has been brooding about some deep, unhealed hurt.  And, now, "the other guy" has brought that pain into the bright light of day.  He has partnered with us as an instrument of healing.  And, although he may appear to be our worst nightmare, he may emerge as our greatest gift in helping us move through the chaos...that is, if we can recognize his role in our process of healing.

And the very fact that he is appearing in this scenario is testimony to the fact that that the
Divine Universe feels we are ready to deal.

The appropriate response from us for this heroic act is
"Thank You".  Not one that immediately (or easily) comes to mind. But gratitude and appreciation are truly called for because thanks to the actions of "the other guy", we are now in the undeniable presence of something that is blocking our happiness. And it doesn't have to do with the other guy. He is just the messenger.    The MESSAGE is:  Still here.  Still carrying the pain.  Still waiting for grace and resolution.

So what are we to do other than blaming "the other guy"?  We step up and deal. Though it may appear to be so, THIS scenario is not about what "the other guy" is doing. THIS is about how we react to it and, if we are feeling a HEAVY reaction, it is because we have hit a hotspot.  And that is where our attention needs to go.

If "the other guy" is having a MOMENT and it makes us very uncomfortable, then we need to own that feeling.  We need to hold space for the knowing of "the other guy's" stuff and, especially, our stuff:  noticing it, witnessing it...but not reacting to it.  And we need to calmly say, for example, something like this..."This is not working for me.  I can see that I have some heavy emotion around this issue and I want to deal with it before we work on understanding each other.

THIS disturbing, confounding experience involving "the other guy" is all about you and FOR you.  It's a gift from the Divine Universe who deems you ready for an "unfolding".  And, if you interrupt the unfolding, and make it about the "other guy", you lose your chance to take in the special meaning.  If your ego tries to influence the flow to move in your direction, you miss what is being presented to you.

The complex and intricate evolution of your life has just taken center stage.  And your body knows it.  There is no hiding from the experience.

What will your next move be? 

Will you push the chaotic emotional energy of the episode back down into your psyche, condemning it to unending replays each time the hot button is ignited? 
Will you be angry and resentful that you need to go through this storm?
Will you take out your anger on anyone close by?


Will you bravely acknowledge the soul's wisdom in unearthing this buried pain, thank it for protecting you by storing your pain from an experience you were previously not prepared to deal with, let yourself grieve whatever loss you may have sustained and offer yourself love and compassion during these cleansing and restorative moments?

If we do not own our own experiences but, instead,  project and portray them as someone else's issue, we remain perpetually stuck in this dark night of the soul.  But freedom is not that far away.  And, if we courageously claim our pain and our involvement in the melee, this very act EMPOWERS us to see with compassion a truth we had not previously recognized about ourselves...a truth that is ready to reveal itself and waits only for our loving attention.

                                                                          Marie Helena

image from www.zazzle.co.uk

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Forgiveness or Understanding?

One of the strongest messages we grow up with and continue to hear throughout our lives from all sources of authority is the importance of forgiveness.

 Forgive yourself!  Forgive everyone!

But what if there is nothing to forgive?

What if everything everyone does is merely a forward or backward move or perhaps even a filibuster in the dance of their life, all depending on the stage of their evolution?

What if everything they do has NOTHING to do with us and everything to do with their journey?  A journey which is based on their experiences, their personal growth, their unresolved issues, their unhealed pain.  Given all of these variables, it is truly impossible for us to judge or evaluate the choices they are making.  But, for some strange reason, we seem to think we can interpret their actions and that is our ONLY point of reference...ourselves.

It's pretty easy to do this...we all do it most of the time...It's our 

habitual response but it causes SO MUCH TROUBLE!  We can end up feeling hurt or angry or sad and depressed and what they are doing is NOT ABOUT US!  We are the subject of the scenario because we happen to be in the picture at this time; we are the scenery and setting for the playing out of someone's latest life challenge.  What if we really GOT that and, therefore, NOTHING felt personal?


There would be nothing to forgive.  For ourselves or others.  We are merely the playing field where someone works out the latest step in his evolution with any accompanying banging and clatter and others do the same for us when we are engaged in one of our "adventures".


I know it's pretty radical to expect everyone to see this...especially when our emotions are embroiled and our egos feel challenged.  But how wonderful it would be if we could navigate our lives from this trekking star:  Nothing to forgive.

We are ALL doing what we came here to do:  use the resources of earth school to finally get the Big Picture of our lives.

                                                                         Marie Helena

image from wallpaperswide.com

Friday, January 5, 2018

Changing the Locus of Control

In December I posted a blog entry entitled A New Year’s Light Show in which I proposed the following:

As we go through the day and encounter many moments…some relaxing and some difficult and challenging …take a moment and imagine how our Higher Self would respond to what is happening (not to place any pressure on ourselves to do what Higher Self would do but only to imagine it and take note).

Surprisingly and wonderfully, it seems that the powerful principle of Conscious Intention (even more powerful than I knew) is working its magic again.

I have found a new natural high without placing any pressure on myself. My intention to consciously consider what Higher Self would do has opened the doorway to a new perspective on life for me and this new view has begun to take me out of the realm of ego directed decisions. I find myself wanting to embrace the flow of life and meet its difficult moments in the way that my Higher Self would choose to do.

A few weeks ago I had a dream during a time that I was very upset about something and unable to release it. In the dream I was in Galway harbor (where my daughter Rachel now lives). The entire harbor was filled with boats which were carrying only the cargo of Love and Compassion. The feeling of the dream was that Love and Compassion are all that are needed...for everything.

This dream was very powerful for me and it felt like a Higher Self message on how to deal with the difficulties of life. I have thought about it often and follow its direction whenever I choose the path of Higher Self, always extending Love and Compassion to myself and others.

My adventure with all of this began with one or two opportunities (difficulties) occurring and my experiencing myself (actually, observing myself)…from the vantage point of Higher Self . In choosing the Higher Self path I found myself feeling very happy about my response and discovering that somehow I seemed to have whatever energy I needed to make the leap to the Higher choice. Amazingly, this was energy that was not there before.

I am finding all of this very exciting but also very comforting, too. And it is replacing other ways that I have comforted myself during difficult times which have not always been the best choices for health and well-being.
Best of all, I feel and know that  I have the power in me to make my day the beautiful one I want it to be. And that it makes no difference what comes into my space, what anyone says or does.

The only thing that is important is my choice of response.  And when that choice comes from Higher Self, there is always a deep and satisfying feeling accompanying it for me.

It seems I am beginning to shift the locus of control regarding how my day will go and how I will feel about it. Ultimately, I am no longer upset by someone else's behavior. And all of this just by my conscious intention to consider what Higher Self would do. Somehow the consideration of this question has presented the promise of such magnificent payoffs that I have naturally shifted my focus and conscious intention to it. What fascinating potential there is here for life transformation!

This seems as magical as anything I can imagine. Ours just for the asking. And it’s as easy as designing it into our day!

What would your Higher Self do today?

                                                                               Marie Helena

Friday, December 29, 2017

A New Year's "Light" Show

After the magical days of Christmas holidayswhen pine-scented boughs and cranberry candles perfumed the air and glittering lights whispered their grace-filled secrets into our happy hearts…decorating our spaces with joy and celebration…

after these magnificent days have passed and things have grown so very quiet and restful the steady, sure-footed march of the New Year alights on our doorstep, enters our homes and slides into our hearts.

It’s time…to renew and redirect our energy to the wonderful life we have imagined and make the changes that were placed on hold as we made merry and felt merry and loved the "merry" of the holidays.

Now, there is a NEW JOY that awaits us and it is born of reflection and inspiration and discipline…our New Year’s Resolutions.

Much has been said and advised about NYR’s…suggestions that we examine our lives, compiling a list of every change we can imagine…suggestions that we make NO resolutions and not place ourselves under that kind of stress... even a suggestion that we only try to improve ourselves by one percent in the category we identify as “most needed” or, even better, “most desired” and, thereby, let our accumulated steady, slow progress become its own source of motivation.

This morning in the quiet moments when I found myself awakening a different thought occurred to me.

I had been searching for a simple resolution…one that would be easy to hold onto and yet would change my perspective and this is what arrived in response to my request:

As you go through the day and encounter many moments…some relaxing and some difficult and challenging…as you go through the day, just take a moment and imagine how your Higher Self would respond to what is happening. Do not put any pressure on yourself TO DO what Higher Self would do. Only IMAGINE it and TAKE NOTE.

This sounded wonderful to me…and it feels instinctively that just choosing to put myself in the place of imagining a Higher Response would do some subtle, behind-the-scene work for me even while I went busily about my day, impressing my consciousness with a more beautiful, more loving, more joyful way to navigate itand, most importantly, a way to be my own SOURCE of happiness and satisfaction.

And it actually sounds and feels quite practical, too, to become, on a continuing basis, the ANCHOR for my joy.

So I am going to give it a pop!   This means I may pause a few seconds before I react and respond to what is going on…allowing myself the time and perspective I need to call up a Higher inspiration than what would automatically appear on my default button.

It will be very interesting to take this journey and, no doubt, it will have its own BRILLIANLIGHT SHOW as I enter into this universe!


                                                                            Marie Helena

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

What Are You Here to Teach Me?


Recently I saw a presentation on OWN, Oprah Winfrey's television network, in which she was telling spiritual writer Gary Zukav about a dream she had experienced.  Oprah said she was flying in the dream and she kept encountering groups of children who asked her the same question: 

Where's the magic?
What are you here to teach me?

Oprah commented to Gary Zukav that every time she was able to express those very words of the children in her dream, she would fly higher.

What are you here to teach me?
Where's the magic?

What are you here to TEACH me?

There is a special innocence and wisdom possessed by children because they have not yet become enmeshed with the more worldly values of society and culture.  Children speak the truth...exactly as they see it...purely, directly, authentically. They are OPEN to learning.  They do not censor their thoughts or words. 

And so it seems perfectly natural that it would be the voices of children that Oprah heard in her dream asking her such an important question...and asking it with such eagerness and curiosityWhat are you here to teach me?

Underlying this question is a MOST POWERFUL PREMISE:   
the promise that everything we encounter in life is here to teach us something. 

Quantum physics tells us that we CREATE our life and, if that is so, then we must be CREATING the lessons we want to learn AND the circumstances that catapult and propel us into that learning.  We are busy, indeed, going about the work of our lesson/creations.  And, we become so engaged and involved with these adventures, that we "forget" we designed them...and with the very highest intention in mind.  As Gary Zukav says, we will never encounter any experience in life that is not designed for the healing of our soul.

Given all of this, it seems very wise for us to be focused and alert as these challenging moments enter our lives.  EVERYONE  and EVERYTHING we encounter are carrying a message for us.  Talk about a five star, Tony winning  Broadway production!  No wasted, empty, boring moments here.  Oh, no...here we live through the MAGIC of what we have imagined and set in motion to keep us on course and making beautiful progress in achieving the dreams of our soul.

BUT we have to stretch beyond our ordinary mentality to recognize these gifts. 

We have to vacate the role of "victim" and fly to the spiritual level of eagle to metaphorically scan the universe and solve the mystery of the sometimes frustrating and sometimes extremely painful messages that LOOK like the illusion of suffering but are, in reality, the GATEWAY to our enlightenment.  These adversities influence us to step up to a grander, more beautiful, more powerful version of ourselves.

What are you here to teach me?

Asking this question every day...every moment of our lives...with true desire to recognize, to embrace and to master our self-created lessons is THE PERFECT WAY to participate in the awesome journey of our lives in the illusion of earth school.

                                                                                             Marie Helena

image from www.list.co.uk

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Dolce Far Niente

In the midst of the holiday season when so many preparations are being made…Christmas trees bedazzled with shimmering lights, ingredients assembled for an array of culinary pleasures, shopping excursions planned to catch the latest sales, spotlighting of porches and roofs with illusionary reindeer…

In the midst of all of this, does it seem strange that I would wish you Dolce Far Niente...
The Sweetness of Doing Absolutely Nothing!

And yet, what more perfect time to just BE in the midst of all of these treasures?

Time moves so quickly now as we hasten to finish our self-appointed tasks for the holidays and, if we don’t pause to take in the ambiance and flavor and spirit of these moments, they will be gone before we know it. We will be left with crumbled Christmas wrappings to clean up, dishes to wash from the fabulous dinner we have prepared and an exhausted body for our reward.

So let’s imagine another dimension to our celebration.

I invite you (and myself as a reminder as I write this), to not miss a single breath of this breathtaking season. To allow the brilliant red poinsettias to nourish and sustain us with their glorious color and powerful presence. To honor the trees populating our landscape outside as they abide winter’s passing and keep their spring secrets warm inside their roots for us. To enjoy the delicately flavored herbal tea and gingerbread one sip and one small and succulent bite at a time as delicate snowflakes descend outside our windows. To watch the faces of the young and young-at-heart as they embrace the magic of families gathering and the waves of joy layering the room as gifts expected (and surprised) are revealed.

Let us all fully embrace the beauty of this season, honor its festive and joyous rhythm and reverence the  MAGNIFICENT MOMENTS  being given to us!

                                                                                               Marie Helena

For our experience to feel whole, our body must be allowed to permeate our expe...rience, BE our experience, entirely. And our awareness must be released from living in our heads and allowed to flow into EVERYTHING.

Meredith Murphy

Saturday, December 16, 2017

The Best Christmas List of All

It's December and time for our Christmas to-do lists.. 

Some especially ambitious individuals have started on their lists many moons ago.  But for those of us who kick into high gear after Thanksgiving...it's time to get down.

And I bet you have LOADS OF ITEMS on your list: 

 buy a Christmas tree (and decorate it), 
 shop for presents,
 plan a holiday party, 
 balance that budget so finances will work smoothly,
 try some new holiday recipes...

oh, and clean the house (including those jobs you've left undone but now have to do because out-of-towners will be staying with you).

I'm guessing you might be exhausted just thinking about these tasks and that's nothing compared to the EXHAUSTION you feel when you start trying to complete the tasks and keep on trying...even when you are stressed
 and tired...and in need of sleep and relaxation and nourishment

In other words, when the concept of BALANCE has gone completely out of your life.

Just yesterday I got   a wonderful idea  about this whole conundrum of how do you get the work done and avoid feeling STRESSED to the max.

And here it is.

This is probably going to sound radical to you, but after some reflection I am convinced it's the answer to this problem.

The first premise of this idea is:  Christmas (and all of the preparations that go into the holiday) should be fun.  

Easy enough to say.  But, you may wonder, how can we have fun doing the Christmas to-do list when we are bone-tired...weary...dragging ourselves around?

The answer is not to do it.  DO NOT make yourself do the things on that list when you are not  IN YOUR POWER and have good energy, a  positive disposition and are ready to be in-the-flow.  

Just DO NOT do that list of tasks when your chin is on the floor.

Instead (and here comes the next premise) do WHATEVER IT TAKES  to get you  back to your place of power.  This might mean taking a  nap, relaxing, having a lovely conversation, enjoying  nourishing food for your tired body (and eating it slowly and tasting and enjoying every bite).  WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Then...when you have reclaimed your power (whenever that is)...do something on the Christmas prep list.


You are probably thinking THIS WILL NEVER 
WORK.  There won't be enough time. 

But here's my thought: 

If you've ever pushed yourself to do things when you DID NOT have the energy (physical, mental or emotional) to do them, then I am sure you know there is a hefty price tag on that delightful maneuver.  

And I bet this is when you develop that cold or catch that flu or get so totally out-of-sorts that nobody wants to be around you.  

Then...what good did it do to have the things on your list completed and you can't even appreciate what you have accomplished?

I know...I know...this concept will take some reframing of the way we usually tackle our tasks but consider this:  

How wonderful would it be to actually enjoy all of the holiday preparations...to be in such a lovely space that  it felt like you were constantly accessing the joy of Christmas and what it represents?  

How lovely also for all of those around you to engage with the happy, positive person you know you can be!

Wouldn't it be worth taking the leap to give this a try and then see how everything plays out?  

And, by the way, this isn't just a wonderful plan for Christmas...I think it's the best way to engage life all year round.

So start making that special list of all of the wonderful things that will rejuvenate you and move you back into that DELIGHTFUL place of joy and power and make that one THE LIST you always remember!

                                                                                Marie Helena

image from vickiblackwell.com