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Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Whither Thou Goest




One of the most prevalent emotional conditions experienced by persons in our culture is the state of being Co-Dependent.

In CO-DEPENDENCE we link the state of our happiness to the state of someone else's...we are dependent on someone else' s reaction or feeling and we let that reaction or feeling from another dictate how we are.

The reason we do this is because we have experienced pain from confrontation or abandonment and w
e fear the repeat of this experience. We fear it so much that we are constantly watchful and attentive to the emotional state of those around us...we try to keep them happy and satisfied but we are always ready for (and even expect) pain at any second.

Unconscious childhood wounds make us vulnerable to whatever someone else is going through. We are witnesses to their displeasure and immediately proceed to claim it as our own, not recognizing or acknowledging that we are separate individuals.

We are DEPENDENT on others for our emotional well-being.


The dysfunction we experienced as a child prevents us from clearly asking for what we would like to have (we don't feel the freedom to do this and the confidence that our request will be well-received). And because we have not entered into a dialogue to explain how we feel and invited an explanation of how another feels, we instead set up our own expectations regarding how we would like someone to act (and this feels safer for we can do it in our own minds without taking the chance of involving someone else and having to deal with what might be said).
Unfortunately, when we do not get the results we have expected (which occurs because we have not discussed the preferences of both parties), we then suffer.

And the fact is...we have brought that suffering on ourselves.



We have assumed that the things that have meaning and significance to us have the same meaning and significance to others. And when that meaning and significance are not similarly acknowledged, we draw the conclusion that we are not cared about.



And so we suffer. And needlessly...for every individual develops his own preferences and attaches his own meanings to objects and experiences. Just because someone has not acted in the way we would does not mean that the person does not care for us. What it does mean is that
we have not bravely asked for what we would prefer and invited another to tell us his requests.


It is sometimes very frightening for co-dependent persons to have a direct conversation regarding their preferences but it is THE WAY to ensure that a decision can be negotiated...and agreed upon in a manner that will satisfy all parties involved.


When we do recognize that WE are the cause of our suffering because of experiences we have endured...we can clearly see that WE also have the power to change it. Though it can be a challenging and unfamiliar road to follow, it is the formula for self-approval, satisfaction and inner peace.


Obviously, our soul contract has been designed by us to include this very important work. We can transcend the sense of feeling helpless and vulnerable by speaking our truth and listening to others' truth, thereby emerging into independent, self-accepting and self-approving individuals who have come to terms with a limitation and turned it into a confident and self-caring lifestyle.



                                                                                     Marie Helena


I speak my truth
so that I can keep my Heart FREE TO FLY.
I listen to your truth so
that you Can Join Me. 



Mystic Marks: Bookmarks for the Soul


Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Everyman: Best Actor in a Dramatic Role







As simple as a summer breeze,as easy as a nibble on a frosted cookie, as delightful as gentle raindrops landing on your shoulders on a hot summer day.  THAT is the fun and adventure we are meant to have in this cosmic playground we call earth.  THAT is what we signed up for.  But we often don’t see the immense simplicity of what we have undertaken.  The fine print in our cosmic contract (which we ourselves have insisted on) includes a passing reference to the requirement of “forgetfulness” and that one word has landed us in all kinds of trouble.

Somehow we manage to continually forget that we are here on a splashy, extravagant, magical experiment to TRY THINGS ON, see what they feel like and then decide what to do about them.  And if we decide to make a change, then we see how Plan B feels...and so on.  It’s all about the role we choose to play and we are so brilliant at this imaginative exercise that we do not even have to audition for the part.  Because we are such Divine spiritual creatures unlimited possibilities are open to us and, with our own unique preferences, we select the characterizations we wish to embrace.  And we do it for the FUN, for the sheer JOY of seeing what it feels like.  Of course, we FORGET what we are doing and it makes the adventure so much more real.  We like to be consumed by the details:  the setting, the circumstances, the other players, complicating issues…the DRAMA!!!


Foundationally, we are SPIRITUAL beings who reside in unconditional bliss.  This is our home base   But we have a powerful desire to experience and, therefore, appreciate what it is like to be subject to conditions and limitations.  And so we choose to incarnate.  And we do this because it is an exciting, vibrant, passionate voyage.  We adore the tumultuous ups and downs of navigating these conditions and  limitations.  We love trying on various ways of dealing with these limitations and seeing what responses they evoke in us.

Our end game is to find the choice of action that returns us to peace.  And it’s a long and winding road and sometimes a difficult and challenging one. 

Most of the time, we take it MEGAseriously, forgetting that we have placed ourselves in a magical playground where we can experiment with our course of action to see what truly brings us back to JOY.

When we are experiencing some difficulty, if the first thing we try doing to help ourselves does not work, it is not a tragedy. It is an opportunity to see what that choice feels like and how it plays out in our life.  Now, we can use our creativity and imagination to conceive of the next best plan to try and then discern how that option is working.  We are literally trying on moments of experience and seeing what they feel like. We are on a metaphysical shopping trip, trying to find what brings us to delight, satisfaction and joy.

That is what Earth school is about...having the  glorious, engaging, sometimes exasperating experiences.  Underneath all of the disguises we sometimes assume as persons in pain, as victims of circumstance, we are always perfect, spiritual beings engaged in the fascinating role of living in an imperfect world and doing our best to find our way back to perfection. 

It’s all an exquisite, ethereal exercise.  Perhaps occasionally remembering this might gift us with a  perspective that will help us reside more comfortably in this earth reality and remember that we are in this world but not of it. 


                                                                                     Marie Helena




image from www.alamy.com
81st Stock Photos & 81st Stock

Saturday, July 28, 2018

"Here's the Thing"




 
Have you ever had the experience of trying to convince someone to "do it your way" with less than spectacular results?

Have you ever wondered what influences were at work behind the scenes in this particular equation?

Well, for one thing...when we are trying to convince someone of our point of view, we are probably holding fast to OUR idea of how things should be and when someone "holds fast", he doesn't come across very approachable or friendly.

Secondly, in this case, we are obviously NOT convinced there IS a "better" way. We've done our homework...we've thought about the situation...and have found what feels like the BEST way to handle things. Therefore, we have assumed the role of determined INSTRUCTOR to the person we are trying to convert to the merits of OUR view.

Third, with this kind of mental positioning, the emotional environment can feel intimidating...something that is not conducive to promoting open mindedness nor
transformation.

There...we have it...the scenario is stuck, mired in a difference in approach or view...and the atmosphere is getting clouded over with S T R O N G opinions and stubborn mind sets.

But,

It doesn't have to be this way.

If we can dismount from that stallion we are riding so vigilantly and take a long look onto the horizon, we may be able to see that SOMETHING NEW AND DIFFERENT is needed to achieve our enlightenment. Like a completely different approach...a one eighty.  So we might need to get R E A L L Y flexible and do some experimenting...and I am speaking of experimenting with the other guy's approach. Like trying it on for size even though it makes NO SENSE to us.

The part that does make powerful sense here is our willingness to consider this different (and possibly opposing) view closely...to try it on...to ask questions...to seek clarity...to attempt to understand it and the foundational thinking behind the position. 
THAT'S the key thing here...our willingness to genuinely understand another's view and preference.

Our flexibility and openness will not be lost on our compatriot. We may even inspire him to take a closer look at our position. Together, we may conceive of a concept that is greater than our individual offerings. And...who knows...maybe this fresh perspective will propel us into an even grander version of what we had previously felt so strongly about. And, for sure, it will keep our mind open to further expansion,

The willingness to step past our comfort zone into the experience of a radically different thought process may prove to be one of the great adventures of our life.

Happy exploring in the challenging AND exciting wilderness 
of  OPEN COMMUNICATION!

                                                              Marie Helena 



image from dreamstime.com

Monday, July 23, 2018

Dreaming








The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.

Henri Bergson



Quantum physics tells us that our consciousness constructs what it is we see before us. Therefore, what we are willing to conceive of and entertain is what we will experience. 


Do you wish to stand before a landscape of beauty and vibrance? 

Do you wish to see individuals generously sending and receiving love in every moment? 


Do you wish to sense Divine intelligence treasuring all of creation?


What are you prepared to comprehend? 



Is it the gift we have been given to live in this magical playground on earth? 


Is this the exquisite design of nature and all of her inhabitants?  



Is it the beauty of every human heart to have the potential to see the world through eyes of love and feel the happiness this brings?  



Can you still dream your child-self's dream of being loved so deeply and so dearly that everything you encounter and experience is a gift for your journey?   


                                                     Marie Helena


image from jefusion.com


Sunday, July 15, 2018

The Intersection






The term intersection usually refers to a place where two streets cross each other.  In the intersection, it is very important that certain guidelines be observed by all parties approaching it to ensure that traffic moves easily and safely.

As I reflect on the concept of an intersection, I can see that these convergences occur much more frequently in our lives than when we are traveling. Intersections occur every time we encounter another person and, in these moments, our mental/ emotional state is especially important as we take in what is occurring in the course of action.

Naturally and, of course, importantly, our first reaction/response to what is happening in the intersection will center on what we are feeling.  Our first responsibility is always to take care of ourselves. But it seems there is an additional way we can help ourselves in this instance and that is by making a very important assumption about everything the other person is saying and doing.

And here is what I think that assumption should be.  Regardless of how any verbal or nonverbal communication from another might feel to us, we need to assume the other person is ALWAYS acting from the highest intention he is capable of holding in that moment.  And, as a side note also present in the situation, the other person’s perception of what is the fairest and most authentic and even most generous response to us may well be (and often is) VERY different from ours.

And that is why we often don’t GET that the words or behavior of another is well-intentioned.   Sometimes even very generously intentioned.  We hold ourselves hostage, chained to the emotional default reaction rising up in us that our previous experiences have produced during similar circumstances.

I realize that I am suggesting that we act on something that we truly may not be seeing or perceiving in this moment...and, that is, the loving intention of the other to the best possible degree he can manage it.  Holding the belief I am suggesting calls for a beautiful sense of trust from us that everyone is always trying to act from the generous impulse to be a loving person.

I truly believe that this is how we all enter life. With joy and celebration...with excitement and gratitude and appreciation.   However, our earth school experiences often offer significant detours from this loving path.  Consequently, we all carry wounds and scars waiting to be healed. 
.
As we attempt to heal those wounds, we all find our own ways of making sense of things.  And, because we are unique individuals, the sense we make of things may be very different from what others envision.  There is also the fact that we have not walked in their shoes and are, therefore, not cognizant of the extent of their pain or the factors complicating their lives.  Nor have they walked in ours.

Each time I pause and gently ask another person to help me understand what his reaction meant, I am humbled by the explanation I receive of the beauty of what was intended in that moment.  A beauty that is often not visible to me because of my own emotional reaction to something that has triggered my distress.

As a result of this I am now choosing to hold the strong intention of assuming the beauty of what is sourcing the words or actions of another and I am also intending to offer compassion and understanding for any distress he is experiencing.

I am convinced that underneath the words we speak and actions we take towards each other there is always a beautiful, loving child wanting to interact with the glorious world around him with grace and fervor and delight.  And I very much want to feel and appreciate the innocence of this tender caring.

This profound awareness offers me a new guide ensuring a measure of ease and safety as I move through the interweaving and intersecting of what may appear to be a view so different and dissonant from my own.

Perhaps we can ease the intensity of all of our human INTERSECTIONS by remembering the intentions sourced by our always loving hearts. 💗



                                                                               Marie Helena



image from Elizabeth Elkin's Painting a Day: trueartgallery.blogspot.com

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

The Stage of Our Soul's Making









My sister remarked to me the other day that I was so fortunate in having GUIDANCE...from the Divine Universe.  And she meant...to help me get through the moments in life which feel so difficult and heavy.   Like when you're wearing  the lead apron you get when you're having an X-Ray at the dentist's office, only this one is full-body and there are three or four of them stacked up on you.  I'm sure you know what I mean...the times when you feel blindsided and without the resources to "get up offa that thing" as James Brown sings it.

 

My sister and l talk about this Guidance a lot and we both KNOW that EVERYONE has it from all kinds of sources, BUT many are not aware it is there moving through our thoughts and inspirations and circulating all around us, offering loving support, grace and direction.  This seems to be a well-kept secret and it shouldn't be for it is the BEST NEWS out there. 

 

All it takes is having the INTENTION to receive and opening your heart channel which will alert you when these beautiful messages are coming in.  And they come in from the strangest places...an email message, a random comment, the lyrics of a song, a new thought that seems to spring from nowhere, a horn honking outside exactly when you are contemplating taking action.  It's a glorious, on going celebration of the Ultimate Help Desk...your Divine CONNECTION to the Love that rocks the Universe.


This morning I got one of these wonderful messages and it has showed up before for me as a soft whisper but today it is drum-rolling itself so I won't miss it.  And here it is:

When life feels H E A V Y and it seems so difficult to get through it, make the simple switch from Living the "HEAVY" to Watching Yourself do the "DANCE".  In this moment, consciously be Who You Truly Are...and that is your Soul.  Ranjna Sharma, coach, trainer and Soul Guide from Delhi, India, says "It is not the Soul that is Living in the Body... it is the Body that is living in the Soul."  It is your SOUL who is the executive spiritual administrator of the show you are living.

 

Can you see the drama of your life through the Soul's Vision?  Can you see that YOU are playing the scene your soul has written?  This life which seems SO vibrant, SO real and, sometimes, SO very difficult is the product of your soul's intention to experience, grow and learn.  So while you live the "play" your soul has created, do not fail to appreciate your skill and art and complete immersion in the "production" for the YOU of today is a GLORIOUS present expression of your soul's longing to "DANCE" in the Universe. 

 

It's a magnificent expansion, a blossoming of Life itself.

 

THAT is what all of this heaviness is about...the opportunity to step up and step into our soul script and bring in our exquisite creativity to choose how it all plays out,

 

We are not alone on this Stage of Our Soul's Making.  We have the Guidance of Love in its many forms and the joy (and appreciation) of  Observing Ourselves  address the many adventures of life in this dimension.


                                                                                  Marie Helena


image from www.dragoart.com

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Primal Emotions






June 2018


There is a great divide in our country, the blatant truth of which has not always been completely transparent.  But there is no question now regarding the fierce, consuming passion of the opposing positions.

Whatever is fueling the contradictory views is sourced in a primal emotion that informs and directs all of our actions and reactions.  That primal emotion is the result of our experiences.  What we have lived and seen and benefitted OR suffered from plays a major role in the way we view the world.  Whether that experience was life affirming or full of hurt and pain, we are shaped and formed by how it made us feel.

The  critical questions in this moment are whether or not we replay what we have seen and lived through AND whether or not we decide if that path feels peaceful and satisfying to us and honors our soul.

Two primal emotions source the trajectory of all we do.  Will it be Love or Fear that lies at the heart of how we move through the world?

This is a question each of us must answer for ourselves.



                                                                                      Marie Helena



image from pinterest