Every one of us holds an IMAGE about ourselves in every given moment. Those images change depending on the state of our energy, our current circumstances, our insight and our wisdom. Sometimes, the image we hold for ourselves is one of victimhood. (And then things naturally unfold to prove that image to be true.). Sometimes, we beat up on ourselves as we fiercely and unmercifully judge ourselves. (And this behavior often represents the voices of others we have heard throughout our lives who held these views of us...views we have unconsciously adopted.) And, sometimes, when our energy is high and we feel inspired, we visualize our Higher Self and we see ourselves acting in ways that are brave and courageous and dedicated to our personal growth.
Which brings me to a concept I learned several years ago from LifeLine practitioner Georgiann Voissem.
And here it is:
When I become upset, I choose to ONLY pay attention to the fact that I got upset... NOT what someone said or did and NOT who said or did it. I direct my attention ONLY to reflecting on the truth about myself that was just revealed to me: the FACT that this comment or action upset me, the fact that I am unable to view the words or actions of the event dispassionately...that this event has triggered an unhealed hurt within my heart.
I realize this is not the way we usually react to upsetting circumstances. Typically, we react by feeling attacked and quickly assign blame for our feelings to the other person involved in the interaction. Here is the interesting thing about this behavior. In the scenario that has just been enacted, the other person is only the messenger, and, when we ascribe blame to that other individual, we have just SHOT THE MESSENGER. The "messenger" was there to bring something to our attention… something we have not been noticing about ourselves…something we need to pay attention to for our own healing.
Responding in the way that Georgiann suggests is truly CUTTING EDGE behavior. And this is really appealing to me. And exciting. I would like to think of myself as capable of living on the cutting edge. And when I think of myself that way, I feel more committed to mastering this practice.
And, truly, responding to situations in this way instead of reacting by feeling attacked and hurt and blaming others, quickly helps us see what needs to be healed in our own lives. And it really is a calming influence on our interpersonal relationships. It also helps us see ourselves in a new and inspiring reflection.
Are you ready to leap into a future, CUTTING EDGE view of the person you aspire to be?
image from valiantcrossfit.com