Accept that what other people do or say has absolutely nothing to do with you...absolutely nothing.
Hmmmmmmmm. That's really a major GAME CHANGER, isn't it?
Here's the logic behind this statement.
What a person says or does is a really an authentic expression of how he is being affected in this moment by the circumstances, influences and events of his life...and that is exactly what his message tells us.
It's a state of the union kind of message. And his reaction or response to these circumstances, influences and events is determining
IF, WHEN, WHAT AND HOW
his message will be delivered and how the events in which we interact with him will unfold.
This is a VERY important piece of information for us to have because this awareness can alter what his message FEELS LIKE to us.
WHAT IF every time someone spoke to us we viewed the encounter as a fascinating checkpoint of what is transpiring in this person's life?
The information we receive from the interaction would still be FOR us but in a much different way than we had expected.
It would be information ABOUT the other person and that information (intellectual, emotional, etc.) would help us choose how we might wish to respond...what we say and in what manner we say it. It would surely be signaling very clearly whether the person has a need for compassion, support, understanding or assistance.
This would be a MAJOR SHIFT for us
"what just happened to me" and "how that made me feel"
"what can I observe about you and what you might need from me".
And while this process is going on we would still be able to learn what we need to know...what is going to happen, is happening ...or not...BUT we would be learning it from a different perspective.
It would be other directed...and possibly action oriented.
Not only would it give us an opportunity to pay generous attention to someone else, the fact is that when we sense the emotional need of another and respond in a way that supports that need, our dialogue and conversations play out more smoothly and the other party feels gratitude for our caring and may even choose to respond to us in kind.
Being open to observing a person and learning about the space he is in would serve everyone well.
In particular, we would no longer SUFFER from feeling hurt by the message itself or the way the message is delivered because we would know that the message is not an attack on us but rather a behavioral transcript in this moment about the messenger himself.
Here is a place where Higher Self can offer us some BEAUTIFUL GUIDANCE as we exercise patience and show support, love and caring.
The question is:
Can we make this leap and view each person as a mystery...unfolding...and bless our role as witness to and supporter for that revelation?
image from stushieart.com
originally published June 26, 2012