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Monday, March 3, 2014

Hug the Ice

...when you hug ICE, it has 
    no choice:  it must 
    gradually disappear.
                    David Mutchler


This would probably NOT be the first idea to occur to us.  But, according to David Mutchler, perhaps it's THE  BEST

Let's consider this rather strange suggestion for a moment and also think about our typical reactions to the "icy" moments in our life.

*What's usually our first reaction to someone's cold shoulder?

Who needs this?  I'm outta here.
We make our quick getaway and we're "safe"...until the unresolved problem that caused the cold shoulder comes up again.  And it will.  It didn't go away.  It went underground and it's waiting for the next opportunity to surface.

*What about the Icy feel of self-judgment when we trash our self-concept 

    with labels like...
    Nice move, stupid
    I can't believe I did that AGAIN.

It's difficult to get motivated into some positive action after we deliver that kind of speech to ourselves.


*And how about feeling trapped in the ice of some old, unconscious, non-productive habits
...and beating ourselves up about this behavior time after time?


The escape hatch from these dilemmas, according to Mutchler, is to LOVE our way out.  That's right.  HUG THE ICE!

Love what is...accept what is...whether it's someone's negative attitude, our own poor judgment or decision or the repetitive, hair-trigger responses that never serve us well.

Call up a boatload of  COMPASSION (my favorite elixir) and apply liberally to the unsettling situation.  

There's a REASON for what is happening.  And there is undoubtedly a back story of unresolved pain and hurt.

Compassion first.  That's the mantra we need.


After giving this first application of compassion we soften our hearts and feel more open to and caring of ourselves or whoever is undergoing the suffering because we or they lacked the tools to deal with it...to release and resolve it...and are now acting out the hurt...once again.

And here's the really beautiful part.  When someone feels truly cared for and understood
, that individual is perfectly poised to begin to envision their own view of how to approach their problem. 

They see the solution themselves...and they are willing to consider undertaking it.

But they won't do this if they don't feel loved and understood.  Oh no, they'll be fully engaged In defending themselves AND their behavior or in condemning themselves as the dregs of society.

Maybe that someone we're describing is another person...or...maybe it's us.  

Whoever it is, receiving the "hug" of attention and interest and, most of all, compassion will melt the icy outer layer we wear and reveal the bruised heart inside that's been protecting itself with the cold.

So hug the ice wherever you find it...in your heart or in the hearts of others.   Hold fast to your faith in acceptance, understanding and love and watch this magic melt AND heal  all of the pain we have ever encountered.

Melt the ice!

website for image: 

Fractal Art by Nathan Smith.      Melt the Ice by zueuk
originally printed September 28, 2012


  1. Thank you, Marie! Perfectly timed to help me deal with a current problem. I will be hugging the ice instead of kicking it! :)

  2. Beautiful, Lianne. That's fearless behavior...inspiring!