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Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Body Speaks
A few years ago I experienced a constriction in my throat. It worried me and so I went to see my doctor who told me it could be thyroid cancer and referred me to a specialist for testing. The wait to see the specialist was especially difficult but, because of a conversation I had with a nurse in his office, I was able to get in earlier than expected. As the doctor entered the room he encountered something he had never seen before…a patient gently striking a Tibetan bowl to keep herself in as high a vibration as possible.
After doing an ultrasound the doctor told me that he felt my problem came from stress and that I needed to take a vacation.
It took me two months to figure out what the doctor was saying to me…or, more precisely, what his Higher Self was telling me. It wasn’t to go somewhere; it was to do something differently.
Hearing his diagnosis that stress had caused the problem was relieving and confounding at the same time. I eventually realized that there was going to be no easy answer to this problem.
I remembered that some of my spiritual reading had made the point that problems with the throat meant that the person was not speaking his truth. This puzzled me as I felt that I had been doing that in my life. I asked several people close to me whether they thought I had failed to speak my truth and they did not think this was true. But I persisted in this query and talked to persons I felt could give me enlightenment. I was told in no uncertain terms that I, indeed, had not been speaking my truth in some instances…and especially not to my mother.
This comment rang true with me but my mother had died a number of years before this and now I wondered how I could do this. I was instructed to write my mother a letter. Which I did. And in this seven page letter I discussed the love I had felt from her, my understanding of her life situation, the hurts I had not expressed to her, etc. I read the letter three times, cried a lot and then burned it.
The next day I called three people I had unresolved issues with and had beautiful conversations with each of them. I took responsibility for not letting them know how I had felt and all three responded to me with love, concern and understanding.
I continued on with my pursuit of a healing path and kept searching for answers on how to get rid of the throat constriction and was led to a beautiful essay which told me that trying to fix everything is a FEAR response and that I needed to SURRENDER my problem to Divine Guidance. I was also led to an article about the state of bardo in which a person going through intense suffering has the unique opportunity to connect with places in the subconscious not always available to him.
I puzzled and puzzled over how to surrender and, finally, took the vacation the doctor had suggested. The vacation I finally took was to stop trying to solve my problem. This felt freeing and peaceful.
My throat constriction went away.
The throat issue for me was truly a two by four smacking from my Personal Guidance System which apparently couldn’t get through to me any other way. It was a gift of love and I finally realized this.
It is so mysterious and amazing how the body speaks to us…how it cares for us and sends us messages we need to hear. I believe this is true with ALL physical ailments and emotional upsets, too.
I have made it an ongoing mission of mine to learn how to make SURRENDER my default button and only since I wrote a recent blog post have I made the connection that SURRENDER means listening to our Personal Guidance System all the time.
Our first step is to be aware of it…to hear its message…then, whatever, we choose to do, we are truly conscious of our actions. The Personal Guidance System will steer us to peace and happiness but, if we are not fully receiving and embracing the signals, THE BODY (including our physical symptoms and emotions) WILL SPEAK TO US.
Rather a beautiful setup and system for us…just waiting to be discovered and honored…so it can make our earth life a smoother journey!