The Birth of an Addiction

Addiction is an attempt to relive the past.

               Ken Porter


Some of the moments we experience in our lives are breathless in their reach.  They satisfy a core longing, mask a painful pictureor fill a pressing need and they can be intoxicating to the soul.  Often we see them as a pinnacle...an epic event in our lives and we refuse to emotionally separate ourselves from them.  We become attached to the feelings we have experienced and, because of that attachment, we consign ourselves to their remembrance. And our emotional memory of the event becomes a default during times of stress...and, eventually, births an addiction.

But it is impossible...and unwise...to continue to  try to re-experience events exactly as they occurred because we are NOT the same individuals who experienced those original moments.  We are constantly reinventing ourselves, reacting and responding to new stimuli, developing new perceptions and insights...and, hopefully, growing stronger and wiser.  We are encountering opportunity after opportunity...blocks building one upon the other…all available to us for our consideration.

If we persist in our attachment to past moments and become addicted to reliving their significance, we pass by magnificent opportunities appearing in our lives, offering us new adventures and experiences designed to help us grow even more.

What could becthe source of this addictive behavior?  What is it that might prevent us from experiencing each moment in our lives as an original scenario...one in which we are focused, alert, centered, willing and eager to address each new issue or question with clarity and compassion for ourselves and others? 


The ability to effectively deal with what is presenting itself to us in this moment depends upon whether we have steadily and consistently aspired to become the next, grandest version ofourselves and have matured through our encounters, eventually remembering the nature of Who We Truly Are.  Once we have reached that remembrance, we naturally move toward expressing our loving response within every circumstance we encounter.


This is a worthy and amazing challenge...to respond originally and authentically and lovingly to every "invitation" that crosses our path.  The spiritual growth we achieve would be amazing and exponential, contributing not only to our evolution but to the evolution of all earth dwellers for everything that we do adds to the collective unconscious and becomes accessible to all.


Are you in?  Are you content to constantly replay your back story, reliving that moment of comfort or contentment...or ARE YOU READY for the starring role you have been given to be a creator and light the way for others with your original thought, tenacious exploration and curious and loving heart?


                                                          Marie Helena

image from Pinterest
The history of Bohn S Printing Pictures

Who Writes the Story?

Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, tells us thatRESPECT is one of the greatest expressions of LOVE...and that, if we love someone, we respect that this person is a good artist and can write his own story. 

Ruiz further says that  this person was, in fact, BORN to write his own story and if we respect him, we do not try to write his story for him.

What is even more important is that imposing ourselves in someone else's story is a blatant example of our lack of faith that the other person is capable of learning for himself what there is to be learned and applying those lessons to his life.  The consideration of how and when and if he does this is not In our job description.

 

I do believe that we can communicate to others in a gentle, positive, loving manner any suggestions that we may have about the turmoil they may be experiencing BUT that is it...just SUGGEST...not expect and not punish if someone does not wish to embrace what we are envisioning as an answer to a dilemma.

We are NEVER in the place of knowing all of the factors involved in how someone's life is playing out and  to act as if we are and to envision what we think is the perfect answer is to exalt ourselves and fail to honor the other. 

It represents the giving of affection with CONDITIONS, falling short of a truly loving response and indicating a lack of respect.

Truly understanding our place in the world and the place others occupy is a challenging task for us.  It requires clear boundaries for ourselves and others  but it frees everyone involved to make life choices in an atmosphere of support and caring.

Expressing our faith in everyone else's right and ability 

to listen to the guidance of his own heart...

to  decide issues for himself...

to experience the consequences of his choices and to learn his own lessons when and if he chooses..

is a most beautiful and pure expression of love and caring.  

It also frees us to use our energies for the selection, welcoming and experiencing of our own adventures.

                              Marie Helena 

image from tootsiegrace.blogspot.com

Balloon Prints

The funny little balloons we see above the heads of characters in the comics are the place we look to see what words the personalities are speaking.



They appear to contain the "message"...the information we are meant to have. And, it is true, they do contain a message...just not ALL of it.



In the same way, the words we speak in real life contain a message but they actually do much more than that...they emit energy, sending a vibration out into the immediate vicinity and even much further on...to the universe.


It's interesting to imagine our words hanging above our heads in a balloon and wonder what kind of impression they would make. 

If we could view them objectively, would they appear to be direct, friendly, well-considered, kind? 

Would they be slapped together without much thought or consideration for the impression they would create?

Would they notice the beautiful things in life and express gratitude?

Most of all, would they enhance someone's life?

Would it make a difference to someone that WE were there...that the words we spoke felt affirming....showing the warmth of our hearts?


When we make the choice of which words to speak we are also determining what kind of energy we send out. Is it loving energy? Is it truth? Does it take into account the person to whom we are speaking and how that person will be able to receive the message?


Do our words affect someone's life in a positive way? Does the environment feel lighter and more beautiful because of what we have said?


What kind of balloon prints do we really leave in our wake? Are they skirting the air with ease... bouncing and bowing in pleasure and joy?

The effect of what we say lingers long after we have left…to delight or disorient someone's heart.

                             Marie Helena

Island Metaphor

 

Imagine you have been selected to appear on the newest reality show which will be taking place on an amazing island where everything you might possibly need has already been provided.  No matter what you decide to do...design something, construct something, invent something…ALL resources are available.  But, and here is the sticking point, they are hidden within the topography of the island.  They are most certainly there, but they are not easy to see.  And they emerge into your view only when you are truly ready for them and not a moment before.

The challenge then becomes how does one get ready to receive these resources?  And this cannot be done through manipulation, force or trickery. Only authentic responses ensure their accessibility.

Welcome to the reality show of your life!  And it is simultaneously amazing and magical while confusing and challenging, too.


And this is because we perceive that we live in linear time but, in fact, there is only the NOW.  The past and the future are only an illusion but we are so convinced of them that we can only recognize things within the context of logical progression.  And so we fail to see that the opportunities… the resources… are ALWAYS available but, because of our programming, they are hidden in plain sight.

Wondrously, it appears the Divine Universe is designed to accompany us on our journey and offer us support precisely at the moment we are ready to receive it.


        Isn't it amazing how so many of the things we need arrive 
              at just the opportune moment.
       Almost like magic or a miracle.  
       But it can't be a miracle if it is already there.  
       It just must be something in us has let us see what we need.

                                               Paradigm Shift


In the reality show of our life we move through a series of challenges designed by our soul to learn lessons and help us develop character traits. If we authentically embrace whatever is being presented to us and offer no resistance, we are "ready" and the Universe  makes accessible to us whatever ideas or resources are necessary to navigate our path.


What so often appears to be a coincidence or good fortune that has just occurred, in reality, has been residing in the eternal NOW, awaiting our awareness and receptivity.
.

If, indeed, everything we ever need to grow and evolve is available to us whenever we are ready to "see" it, could we possibly live in a more loving and compassionate Universe?  Cerebral, provocative, emotionally rich and intelligent.  Profound in conception.   Home.

                                                              Marie Helena



image from pinterest.com
Caribbean islands and island life

Mum’s the Word

 

It’s almost Halloween and I am a holiday junkie.  

The front porch is filled with scarecrows, corn stalks, bales of hay, a black cat and some very big (and I mean big) pots of chrysanthemums in purple, yellow and white. 

 And though I love the color and texture of everything on the porch, the really big deal for me is putting my face right into the flowers and taking in their essence… the touch and smell and coolness…in other words, their vibration!


I take breaks during the day to go out and do this. It connects me with nature’s bountiful gifts and beauty. It lifts me out of my everyday tasks and says, “We’re right here…just waiting for you to enjoy us.”  Yep, those flowers are smiling. I know it. They love to have someone get right in their faces. 

Which reminds me…I am also addicted to hugging trees. I have a particular tree in the neighborhood that lets me feel its roots straight down into the earth. I used to look around before I approached the tree, but, naw…I don’t look around anymore. I just see that beauty and go for it.  I hug bushes, too. And have been for many years.

Although I am no gardener, I think that this is exactly the kind of  high  that gardeners feel when they do their thing.  Now here’s a really interesting fact I learned recently about plants and gardeners. If you are raising plants that you will eat, when you tend them with personal, loving care they produce for you whatever your DNA requires.
 

Now that’s mind blowing. And it sure tells you that the universe is alive and wanting to spread its goodness everywhere. 

 So have at ‘em…pumpkins, flowers, trees…the whole works.  They’re just waiting for your perceptive eyes and glowing attention. 

                            

                                                                                             Marie Helena

One Giraffe, One Lion, Two Parrots, Four Monkeys, One Tortoise and a Zebra

My daughter Valerie is an awesome fourth grade teacher.  Her work days are spent in a  classroom teeming with excitement, delight and fourth grade emotions.  Her students are often bursting with energy which needs to be acknowledged, managed and navigated into a creative learning experience.

And Valerie is always ALL IN for whatever presents itself in the moment.   Her spontaneous responses  never fail to seize the unexpected opportunities knocking at her door.

And speaking of that “knocking”, I have a  confession to make.  While watching her from the “sidelines”, I have always loved the idea of being a part of the fun and I sometimes get these bursts of inspiration on how to make that happen.

Take this year, for example.  At the beginning of this current school year, I arranged to have a super plush, 4 foot  stuffed giraffe delivered to her classroom crammed into an Amazon delivery box.  No one knew the delivery was coming… not even Valerie. 

At this unexpected event, the  students watched while she loosened the top flap of the box and the giraffe’s head popped out, followed by an unfolding of the rest of his body and limbs.

Oooos and ahhhhs pirouetted in the air and Valerie read out loud the message the giraffe was delivering for me:  “So much to discover!”

It was a delightful moment for the kids.  Everybody is always curious when a new student joins the class.

It wasn’t very long before Valerie had positioned Spot (named by a  vote of the class) standing up at the blackboard.  Next to him were chalk notes from Spot written to the students.  Overnight, Spot had become a  teaching assistant, communicating to the students important thoughts for them to remember.

As I learned about Spot’s new assignment, I knew the giraffe would provide lots of fun for the students, but I didn’t know how soon I would be eager to introduce a new companion for him.

A few weeks later another delivery arrived to the classroom containing a  large box with another jungle animal.  This time it was a plush stuffed lion.  I hasten to explain here that it was a lion with a gentle face.  (All the jungle animals that found their way into Valerie‘s fourth grade classroom had gentle demeanors.  This was a very important rule of mine.  I wanted the students to enjoy the animals’ personalities.)

This particular lion was designed  in a reclining manner which made it easy for students to approach it before class  each day.  And it wasn’t long before Valerie found students petting  the lion and his brother giraffe.  She quickly saw that their presence was filling a need the students had to use the sense of touch to express their affection.  

As time went on, I asked myself what could be added to this awesome  duo and the answer presented itself to me In an imaginary jungle scene… Two colorful parrots!  Talking parrots.  And the two plush parrots who joined the scenario next were able to record what they heard and repeat it back to the students in their own unique parrot voices.

As animals  arrived to the classroom they typically received a name that had been voted on by the class. If any student was absent on this important day, the class waited for a full return before the vote was taken. Every vote was important.

By now the school year had reached Halloween and the students eagerly  dressed the animals for the occasion.

I was delighted to see the jungle scene was creating itself and I felt a call for some rascal energy and, soon after, four monkeys arrived each with a mischevious grin decorating his face.  Each monkey had Velcro attached to his hands and feet and so there were many interesting ways the monkeys could be displayed in the classroom.

Over time, I began to wonder what else might belong in the jungle scenario.  I wanted to surprise everyone and think of a creature no one would have anticipated.  I decided on a tortoise and no one had more fun with the new visitor than the classroom maintenance person who commented it would be fun to suspend it from the ceiling so it would look like it was swimming.

As the school year passed quickly by, I realized we were only a few weeks away from its ending.  Something in me was calling for a dramatic, final surprise.  I was ecstatic to find Stripes, an adorable, genteel, plush 30 inch zebra who was introduced to the class by Spot, his fellow sojourner.

Reflecting on the delightful events of the school year, I begin to wonder who had had more fun this year…the students or me.  Or maybe it was the maintenance man who wanted to suspend the tortoise from the ceiling as if he were swimming by.  Perhaps it was my daughter who got to use her ingenuity incorporating the new additions to her exciting classroom.

As I told a friend about this adventure of mine, she commented that the students would never forget their fourth grade experience.  I loved that thought.  I felt they would fondly remember their generous, fun-loving teacher and the jungle animals who had  helped her capture so many important lessons in the classroom.

A couple of days ago I listened to a podcast discussing a book called Homecoming.  The book is about coming home to ourselves.  I thought about coming home to myself and I realized how much I love to use my imagination to create fun, loving, surprising things.  I thought about the wonderful imagination of my daughter and her students as they enjoyed their jungle friends and I sat down to write this blog because sharing these memories made me come home to myself and what I treasure so much in my life.

How delightful it is to think about coming home to ourselves every day.  The fun… the adventure… the joy.  Coming home to whatever makes our hearts sing.  When we are immersed in these beautiful moments, I think we access the very best parts of ourselves.

What are your greatest sources of joy and adventure?  Have you accessed them today?

Spot, Stripes and the rest of the fourth grade jungle crew are wishing you an AWESOME day coming home to yourself.

                                         Marie Helena

Whither Thou Goest

 O of the most prevalent emotional conditions experienced by persons in our culture is the state of being Co-Dependent.

In CO-DEPENDENCE we link the state of our happiness to the state of someone else's...we are dependent on someone else' s reaction or feeling and we let that reaction or feeling from another dictate how we are.

The reason we do this is because we have experienced pain from confrontation or abandonment and we fear the repeat of this experience. We fear it so much that we are constantly watchful and attentive to the emotional state of those around us...we try to keep them happy and satisfied but we are always ready for (and even expect) pain at any second.

Unconscious childhood wounds make us vulnerable to whatever someone else is going through. We are witnesses to their displeasure and immediately proceed to claim it as our own, not recognizing or acknowledging that we are separate individuals.

We are DEPENDENT on others for our emotional well-being.

The dysfunction we experienced as a child prevents us from clearly asking for what we would like to have (we don't feel the freedom to do this and the confidence that our request will be well-received). And because we have not entered into a dialogue to explain how we feel and invited an explanation of how another feels, we instead set up our own expectations regarding how we would like someone to act (and this feels safer for we can do it in our own minds without taking the chance of involving someone else and having to deal with what might be said).Unfortunately, when we do not get the results we have expected (which occurs because we have not discussed the preferences of both parties), we then suffer.

And the fact is...we have brought that suffering on ourselves.

We have assumed that the things that have meaning and significance to us have the same meaning and significance to others. And when that meaning and significance are not similarly acknowledged, we draw the conclusion that we are not cared about.

And so we suffer. And needlessly...for every individual develops his own preferences and attaches his own meanings to objects and experiences. Just because someone has not acted in the way we would does not mean that the person does not care for us. What it does mean is that we have not bravely asked for what we would prefer and invited another to tell us his requests.

It is sometimes very frightening for co-dependent persons to have a direct conversation regarding their preferences but it is THE WAY to ensure that a decision can be negotiated...and agreed upon in a manner that will satisfy all parties involved.

When we do recognize that WE are the cause of our suffering because of experiences we have endured...we can clearly see that WE also have the power to change it. Though it can be a challenging and unfamiliar road to follow, it is the formula for self-approval, satisfaction and inner peace.

Obviously, our soul contract has been designed by us to include this very important work. We can transcend the sense of feeling helpless and vulnerable by speaking our truth and listening to others' truth, thereby emerging into independent, self-accepting and self-approving individuals who have come to terms with a limitation and turned it into a confident and self-caring lifestyle.

                                 Marie Helena

                                                                                           

I speak my truth

so that I can keep my Heart FREE TO FLY.

I listen to your truth so that you Can Join Me. 

Mystic Marks: Bookmarks for the Soul