Popular Posts

Sunday, January 16, 2022

Altering the Chemistry of the Moment

One of the major causes of disappointment we experience in our lives is the unrealized expectation we may hold about what we want to occur.  When we are feeling anxious about what is about to happen, it is so easy to, hopefully, imagine things playing out in a way that feels comfortable and even soothing to us. Just contemplating this possibility softens our anxiety so much that we become emotionally invested in the outcome we prefer and then we become attached to it occurring in reality. And, if life intervenes (as it inevitably does) and things do not occur in the way we imagined, we feel sad, bereft, abandoned, unworthy.


It feels like our life is collapsing around us.  Everything is going wrong. There appears to be no emotional support.  But it is only the illusion we are holding that has collapsed. 


This can feel like a major upset and, sadly, we have brought it upon ourselves.  


Why do we become so attached to these expectations regarding what we want to happen in our lives? Why do we rely so intensely on a "picture" we have painted by ourselves when that picture will always be created by everyone included in the encounter?


I believe we attach to our expectation because we do not feel safe or secure enough to reveal the longings of our heart for affirmation, acceptance, validation and that is because we have experienced the pain of not having those longings filled in the past.   And now we carry the baggage of this sadness and cannot bring ourselves to trust that these longings will ever be realized.  And, lacking that trust, we do not reveal our authentic emotions, consoling ourselves instead by imagining circumstances in our ideal world that would perfectly meet our needs.  As if everyone would automatically know what would bring us joy and peace and have the energy to bring them into our lives.


The problem here is that we become obsessed with the expectation from our imagining, holding fast to this "fix" we feel we so desperately need, crowding out any possible concern for others who are involved in the drama of the moment.  


In real life we are not the only ones with needs.  All of the players in our lives also have needs but the scenario we imagine in which our longings are realized does not take those needs into account.  We are entirely focused on our pain.  We walk into the theater of our imagining expecting to see the play we "bought a ticket for" and, lo and behold, another production is playing.


We miss the vital information of how each player is being affected in this moment because our hurt, our unmet need, has clearly overridden this important aspect of the encounter.  When we find ourselves becoming attached to an expectation, it is important to extend some beautiful compassion to ourselves.  We are carrying pain and it is pain"ful”.  As we relax into the love we are showing ourselves, a new sense of empowerment begins to grow within us and we begin to experience the energy we need to help ourselves heal from the emotional pain we are suffering.  We do this by sharing the longings of our heart.  


This is a wonderful and important opportunity for us to be BRAVE and COURAGEOUS and consciously vulnerable, to change the default pattern of how we respond to the sadness of not having our needs met. When others hear us authentically express what is in our heart, 

the chemistry of the moment alters in a profound way.


There is a beautiful gift embedded in this undertaking.  When we take responsibility for finding a way to meet the longings of our heart, we feel EMPOWERED and in control of our lives.  And, from that place of power, our heart is open to hearing the needs of others and then co-creating together with them the very best way to take care of all persons involved in this moment.


To do this is to walk out of the stance of victimhood and, simultaneously, to free ourselves from the suffering we have inadvertently brought upon ourselves because we had not yet found a way to move beyond our sadness. But the answer to relieving the sadness IS in our reach. And it will take a STRONG DESIRE to heal ourselves and the BELIEF that WE ARE WORTHY of love and that others want to love us in whatever way they can based on the energy that is available to them in that moment of their lives.


There is so much we can do to move beyond the painful default reactions we carry.  Our usual go-to places.  As Alberto Villoldo suggests in his book Courageous Dreaming, become the hero of your life, daring to speak from the depths of your heart revealing your human vulnerability. You will access a loving generosity, a power beyond measure that will alter the trajectory of your life and everyone who moves within it.


                              Marie Helena


image from pinterest

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

The Lotus


“If you can see yourself as an artist, and you can see your life as your own creation, then why not create the most beautiful story for yourself?”

don Miguel Ruiz



Take a quiet journey back in time and ponder the artist palette of your childhood.  In those moments you painted the picture of your life with bold, splashy colors and magical dreams.  Everything seemed possible, just awaiting your attention.  Even though the constraints of time have moved you into more grown up circumstances, the vibrancy and joy of your innocence still see so clearly the beautiful spirit you are.


Perhaps your image has been dusted with weariness or tarnished with unresolved pain.  But the child/spirit/artist in you knows your beauty and worth. 


So bring that sense of adventure and vibrancy into your story.  Make something beautiful in your imagination.  Visualize the exquisite LOTUS, a symbol of rebirth and transformation which blooms perfectly pristine even from the murkiest of waters.


YOU are the radiant lotus emerging so brilliantly from the complications and adversity of the world.  


                                     Marie Helena



“Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.”

                           Henry Ward Beecher



Lotus image from pinterest

Friday, January 7, 2022

Dolce Far Niente


In the midst of the holiday season when so many preparations are being made…Christmas trees bedazzled with shimmering lights, ingredients assembled for an array of culinary pleasures, on-line shopping planned to catch the latest sales, spotlighting of porches and roofs with illusionary reindeer…

In the midst of all of this, does it seem strange that I would wish you Dolce Far Niente... 

The Sweetness of Doing Absolutely Nothing!

And yet, what more perfect time to just BE in the midst of all of these treasures?

Time moves so quickly now as we hasten to finish our self-appointed tasks for the holidays and, if we don’t pause to take in the ambiance and flavor and spirit of these moments, they will be gone before we know it. We will be left with crumbled Christmas wrappings to clean up, dishes to wash from the fabulous dinner we have prepared and an exhausted body for our reward. 

So let’s imagine another dimension to our celebration.


I invite you (and myself as a reminder as I write this), to not miss a single breath of this breathtaking season. To allow the brilliant red poinsettias to nourish and sustain us with their glorious color and powerful presence. To honor the trees populating our landscape outside as they abide winter’s passing and keep their spring secrets warm inside their roots for us. To enjoy the delicately flavored herbal tea and gingerbread one sip and one small and succulent bite at a time as delicate snowflakes descend outside our windows. To watch the faces of the young and young-at-heart as they embrace the magic of families gathering and the waves of joy layering the room as gifts expected (and surprised) are revealed.

Let us all fully embrace the beauty of this season, honor its festive and joyous rhythm and reverence the  MAGNIFICENT MOMENTS  being given to us!


                                Marie Helena                                                                                             


For our experience to feel whole, our body must be allowed to permeate our experience, BE our experience, entirely. And our awareness must be released from living in our heads and allowed to flow into EVERYTHING.

Meredith Murphy

EXPECT WONDERFUL

Wednesday, January 5, 2022

Attraversiamo




The Italians have a beautiful word which translates as "crossing over"

...Attraversiamo.  




To me it means moving through 
and moving on.

As I looked through some interesting comments I have saved from my readings, I came across some lovely impressions of how this process happens.
 
Lauren Gorgo tells us that 
"we are not here to own or hold experiences but to fluidly move thru them so as to continually embrace the next experience...and the next, and the next."
 
When I attempt to visualize the  process  Lauren describes the scene I see is filled with gently moving images that are translucent...they are effortlessly transforming into new images (read experiences).  The feeling is one of lightness and the most beautiful energy vibrating joyfully.

According to Lauren Gorgo this is Conscious Co-Creation and it means to live in the moment and create the next moment from the moment that preceded it.
 

As I reflect on this picture I see that  LIFE looks very purposeful.  Every experience we have holds the gift of a sacred lesson which anchors the next step in our spiritual evolution.
 

Does this image of moving pictures seem difficult to engage...to stop fixating on or obsessing over our experiences...especially the ones that feel difficult, uncomfortable or painful and move instead into the on-going  grace of transformation?
 
 
Here are some words of encouragement I feel are especially inspiring to help us develop this approach to life.  They describe a gentle process, a habit we can cultivate that will facilitate this spiritual exercise. 

I do not have the author's name recorded in my notes but the tone of the message sounds a lot like the words I read from Meredith Murphy's Expect Wonderful and I share it with you in the hopes that it will spark your motivation and, oh, so gently touch your heart:
 
Continually allowing myself to let go of things without resistance just opens up ease and makes life so happy.

I let things come into my life.  I let them go.  I stop trying to control this or take it personally.  I just am.  Amazing.  So simple, isn't it?

 Can you SIMPLIFY the moments of your life?



                                                                                     Marie Helena

image from art-saloon.run