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Monday, March 18, 2024

Game Changer



Accept that what other people do or say has absolutely nothing to do with you...absolutely nothing.

                                    Ken Lauher


Hmmmmmmmm.  That's really a major GAME CHANGER, isn't it?

 Here's the logic behind this statement. 

What a  person says or does is a really an authentic expression of how he is being affected in this moment by the circumstances, influences and events of his life...and that is exactly what his message tells us. 


It's a state of the union kind of message.  And his reaction or response to these circumstances, influences and events is determining   

IF, WHEN, WHAT AND HOW  

his message will be delivered and how the events in which we interact with him will unfold.


This is a VERY important piece of information for us to have because this awareness can alter what his message FEELS LIKE to us.

 

WHAT IF every time someone spoke to us we viewed the encounter as a fascinating checkpoint of what is transpiring in this person's life?

 


The information we receive from the interaction would still be FOR us but in a much different way than we had expected. 


It would be information ABOUT the other person and that information (intellectual, emotional, etc.) would help us choose how we might wish to respond...what we say and in what manner we say it.   It would surely be signaling very clearly  whether the person has a need for compassion, support, understanding or assistance.


This would be a MAJOR SHIFT for us 

               from 

"what just happened to me" and "how that made me feel" 


                to 

"what can I observe about you and what you might need from me". 

 


And while this process is going on we would still  be able to learn what we need to know...what is going to happen, is happening ...or not...BUT we would be learning it from a different perspective.  


It would be other directed...and possibly action oriented.  


Not only would it give us an opportunity to pay generous attention to someone else, the fact is that when we sense the emotional need of another and respond in a way that supports that need, our dialogue and conversations play out more smoothly and the other party feels gratitude for our caring and may even choose to respond to us in kind.


Being open to observing a person and learning about the space he is in would serve everyone well.  


In particular, we would no longer SUFFER from feeling hurt by the message itself or the way the message is delivered because we would know that the message is not an attack on us but rather  a behavioral transcript in this moment about the messenger himself.

 


Here is a place where Higher Self can offer us some BEAUTIFUL GUIDANCE as we exercise patience and show support, love and caring.

The question is:

Can we make this leap and view each person as a mystery...unfolding...

and bless our role as witness to and supporter for that revelation?


                                            Marie Helena


 image from stushieart.com

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Masquerade


Deepak Chopra,world renowned mind-body connection guru, tells us that "All great changes are preceded by chaos."


It is only when our usual, predictable methods of handling our life problems FAIL and we are feeling LOST that we step outside the box and search for new inspiration regarding how to reframe the issues and, thereby, change our perspective, our beliefs and ultimately our feelings.  


 

This point in time is extremely valuable to usbecause without the turmoil and tumult...without the agitation and frustration of the chaos... we would keep doing what has always worked for us...


we would ride the high...


but we would stop growing.

 


And that is why we need to BLESS these moments.  The Divine Universe is sensing we are READY for the next cutting-edge change in our life.  It has upped the ante, sizing us up as capable of dealing with the distress and, even more importantly,  capable of making it work in our favor.

 


In Alberto Villoldo's COURAGEOUS DREAMING he gives us an inspired suggestion regarding how to change the story we are telling ourselves about the chaos.

 

Villoldo says we tend to see ourselves in one of three roles:  victim, rescuer or perpetrator. 


If, however, we can vacate these roles and fly instead to the spiritual level of eagle in our version of the story...we can successfully REFRAME its significance...how it affects us...and what we are able to learn about ourselves.


 


If the chaos we are experiencing makes us feel victimized...


if the fallout of the crisis feels personal...


know that it IS personal but it is not meant as an attack on us...


it is a personal, unique-to-us  OPPORTUNITY to reach deep inside and find the strength and resilience to transcend the experience and find within ourselves the courage...the creativity...and the conviction to see the bigger picture and to nurture a character trait that we have not yet developed.


What brings  us angst, fear, distress, frustration... ALSO brings us the very  powerful occasion for transcendence and release from that suffering.


Chaos is the ultimate MASQUERADE.  What looks like pandemonium  is, in reality, a perfect strategy.


An always-brilliant plan to help us evolve  into the Next, Grandest Version of Ourselves...from the highest state-of-the-art personal development bureau, The Divine Universe!


                                                Marie Helena


                                                                                  

image from ayrerabbitry.webs.com

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

The Ides of March





Let go of the need to defend your position.

       don Miguel Ruiz



It happens so easily to all of us.  We suddenly find ourselves in the middle of a highly spirited discussion and discover that we are face to face with an opposing or alternate perspective and so we automatically step into the role of “defender” of our position, digging in our heels...gently at first and then with increased vigor...as we set out to convince others of our point of view.  

What is it that encourages and even entices us to go for the “win”?  What is it that is driving this behavior that is so prevalent...and even predictable in the human psyche?

And, while we ponder that, imagine how disarming it would be to encounter an individual who has no need to convince everyone of the validity of his position, no need to be recognized by everyone as holding the "right" answer.


I had my own personal encounter with a situation like this a few years ago during a holiday gathering at our home.  It was a very subtle experience but later I strongly felt the significance of the moment.

Several people had been invited over for the holidays and we were chatting happily and enjoying the interchange.  I am not sure how we landed on this topic, but someone introduced the subject of 
The Ides of March.

At that point, I enthusiastically interjected myself into the conversation, remarking that I happened to know that The Ides of March fell on March 12th and that I knew this because The Ides of March was the birthday of a good friend of mine with whom I had worked.  One of our guests commented that The Ides of March was actually on March 15th.   At this observation, I strongly asserted that I was certain it was the 12th and that I had a memory of holding a very specific intention to recall that particular date.  After my interjection our guest declined to assert his belief that March 15 was the date in question and the group moved on past the consideration of the event’s date to its actual meaning.

By the way, Wikipedia describes The Ides of March as "a day in the calendar notable for the Romans as a deadline for settling debts."


This little incident was long forgotten by me until  a few months later on March 15 when I happened to hear a commentator announce that it was The Ides of March.

Oooooops!  I thought and looked online to verify this unexpected piece of information.  As I absorbed the correction, two thoughts circled in my brain.  The first was:  How did I ever confuse this date and become so convinced that I had it right?  The second was:  What a considerate 
guest we had hosted at our home that evening during the holidays.  The visitor had obviously known his information was right and yet he chose not to make a point of debating this with me in front of the others.

This gesture of his felt important to me.  I saw this behavior as evidence of his generosity and thoughtfulness and I made a point of telling him so the next time we spoke.


How refreshing it had been to engage with someone who was not harboring a strong competitive need to prove his point.  And, on the fifteenth of March, the point was made for itself quietly and with no aggressive fanfare.


This choice of action of our guest that night most certainly revealed his honoring and understanding of human emotions.  Giving me the opportunity to learn for myself what I did not know was actually very profound.  He clearly saw that the date itself was not the primary issue and neither was emerging as the person who had all of the answers.  

He had no need to engage in a battle of rightness; he just wanted the opportunity to plant the seed of what he knew to be true.

This individual was obviously able to enter into a moment and quietly leave his gentle signature on it, inviting others to engage with the information in the perfect moment for them.  No need to defend...just subtle awareness and affirmation of how we learn best when we are in the most relaxed and curious frame of mind.

What a splendid idea!  No “debt settling” of The Ides of March...rather just an eloquent exploration.


                                                                                                     Marie Helena

Monday, February 5, 2024

Lemons, Lemonade and Quantum Physics







Everyone's heard the famous saying encouraging us to 
MAKE LEMONADE 
OUT OF LEMONS. . 
And we often take that sage advice to heart, taking a difficult situation and making improvements for ourselves. 
And we are very proud of our work and rightly so, taking ownership of the lemonade.
 
 

BUT WHAT IF WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LEMONS, TOO?


Quantum physics tells us that we create our "world"... and that sounds wonderful to us and we often view that statement as referring to the great things we want to bring into it.

But what if we are creating those wonderful things...the things that really bring us joy  by starting with the lemonsfirst.

 

Let me back up for a minute and explain what I mean.

The thing that really brings us joy, I feel, is the lemonade that comes from the lemons.  


That lemonade is no easy concoction.  it requires acceptance, surrender, faith, trust, perseverance and, often, tenacity.  (Ever see that recipe In a cookbook?  I'm sure it appears in a celestial version.)

And now let's get to the lemons.  The pesky, annoying, difficult and sometimes devastating things that rock our world...and not in a good way.  The things that sometimes make us feel like a victim and give rise to the feeling of "Why me?".

 

What if the force behind the lemon eight ball is really us...throwing those lemons at ourselves with vigor and even delight because we know what we are capable of...the heights we can reach?

 

What if the lemons are a masterfully creative way of inspiring us to reach for a new insight, a wisdom that will totally transform our lives? 


And what if WE dreamed them up...and those lemonsweren't coming AT US but rather to us and for us?
 

Now the "lemons" of our lives look different.  They're our creation...our compatriots...our partners in the glorious experiment we call Life in earth school.

 

Wow...aren't we the clever ones? 

 
While we are busy making that lemonade, let's bring some real appreciation to our sense of invention and creativity. 

 
And, when we recognize the details of our master plan and transcend the mystery, we can actually ENJOY the art of creating that divine drink from the mysterious and powerful lemons we bring into our lives.


                                                    Marie Helena





image from medilodge.wordpress.com

Monday, January 29, 2024

DANCING in the Rain




STORMS are mysterious things. 

They are gray and dark and  feel uncomfortable as if something is off kilter and is trying to right itself.  

They can make us feel apprehensive or fearfulwhile we are waiting for them to pass. 

But even though storms can feel threatening to us,  they carry a beautiful message...crackling and  sparking, twisting and  turning in tumult and turbulence but eventually finding their way to clarity and ease.

And when they do, there is a glorious release on mother earth, the resonant rhythm of  RAIN.

 
 

So dance,  dance in the rain...the beautiful shower of  GRACEwhich illuminates your life, inevitably pointing you to the next highest path of your journey.   

But dance, dance also in and through the storm, too, for that storm is your readiness to acknowledge, confront, feel and release what you have previously placed aside.   


And this process...this journey...though challenging isBEAUTIFUL and sings your courage to leave the old, familiar, unconscious habits that have shortchanged your joy and brought you suffering...and move instead to embrace new paths that will bring you to freedom and peace.


All of LIFE is a dance. 
 Don't miss ONE  BAR of the beautiful music.


                          Marie Helena




image from marliina.blogspot.com
originally published September 21, 2012

Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Altering the Chemistry of the Moment









One of the major causes of disappointment we experience in our lives is the unrealized expectation we may hold about what we want to occur. When we are feeling anxious about what is about to happen, it is so easy to, hopefully, imagine things playing out in a way that feels comfortable and even soothing to us. Just contemplating this possibility softens our anxiety so much that we become emotionally invested in the outcome we prefer and then we become attached to it occurring in reality. And, if life intervenes (as it inevitably does) and things do not occur in the way we imagined, we feel sad, bereft, abandoned, unworthy.

It feels like our life is collapsing around us.  Everything is going wrong. There appears to be no emotional support.  But it is only the illusion we are holding that has collapsed. 

This can feel like a major upset and, sadly, we have brought it upon ourselves.  

Why do we become so attached to these expectationsregarding what we want to happen in our lives? Why do we rely so intensely on a "picture" we have painted by ourselves when that picture will always be created by everyone included in the encounter?


I believe we attach to our expectation because we do not feel safe or secure enough to reveal the longings of our heart for affirmation, acceptance, validation and that is because we have experienced the pain of not having those longings filled in the past.   And now we carry the baggage of this sadness and cannot bring ourselves to trust that these longings will ever be realized.  And, lacking that trust, we do not reveal our authentic emotions, consoling ourselves instead by imagining circumstances in our ideal world that would perfectly meet our needs.  As if everyone would automatically know what would bring us joy and peace and have the energy to bring them into our lives.

The problem here is that we become obsessed with the expectation from our imagining, holding fast to this "fix" we feel we so desperately need, crowding out any possible concern for others who are involved in the drama of the moment.  

In real life we are not the only ones with needs.  All of the players in our lives also have needs but the scenario we imagine in which our longings are realized does not take those needs into account.  We are entirely focused on our pain.  We walk into the theater of our imagining expecting to see the play we "bought a ticket for" and, lo and behold, another production is playing.

We miss the vital information of how each player is being affected in this moment because our hurt, our unmet need, has clearly overridden this important aspect of the encounter.  When we find ourselves becoming attached to an expectation, it is important to extend some beautiful compassion to ourselves.  We are carrying pain and it is pain"ful”.  As we relax into the love we are showing ourselves, a new sense of empowerment begins to grow within us and we begin to experience the energy we need to help ourselves heal from the emotional pain we are suffering.  We do this by sharing the longings of our heart.  


This is a wonderful and important opportunity for us to beBRAVE and COURAGEOUS and consciously vulnerable, to change the default pattern of how we respond to the sadness of not having our needs met. When others hear us authentically express what is in our heart, 
the chemistry of the moment alters in a profound way.


There is a beautiful gift embedded in this undertaking.  When we take responsibility for finding a way to meet the longings of our heart, we feel EMPOWERED and in control of our lives.  And, from that place of power, our heart is open to hearing the needs of others and then co-creating together with them the very best way to take care of all persons involved in this moment.

To do this is to walk out of the stance of victimhood and, simultaneously, to free ourselves from the suffering we have inadvertently brought upon ourselves because we had not yet found a way to move beyond our sadness. But the answer to relieving the sadness IS in our reach. And it will take a STRONG DESIRE to heal ourselves and the BELIEF that WE ARE WORTHY of love and that others want to love us in whatever way they can based on the energy that is available to them in that moment of their lives.


There is so much we can do to move beyond the painful default reactions we carry.  Our usual go-to places.  As Alberto Villoldo suggests in his book Courageous Dreaming, become the hero of your life, daring to speak from the depths of your heart revealing your human vulnerability. You will access a loving generosity, a power beyond measure that will alter the trajectory of your life and everyone who moves within it.


                   
                                               
Marie Helena


image from pinterest

Saturday, January 20, 2024

Down the Rabbit Hole: The Mayor, Betsy and a White Dove





One morning Alice was feeling especially tired because she had eaten too many sweet peas the previous night and had stayed up late frolicking with the caterpillars who insisted on dancing "The Locomotion" in never ending circles around the garden.  As she made her way through the village commons, she noticed several other rabbit hole creatures looking weary and out-of-sorts; some were even complaining crabbily about the butterflies winging good naturedly over their heads.


Oh, this is going to be a loooong and very tiresome day, Alice thought, feeling the vibes of disgruntlement all around her.
  

Soon after, Alice noticed that a new visitor to the rabbit hole had entered the square...a pretty brown mole wearing a blue and white checked apron with the name Betsy embroidered on it and a smile that could melt the coldest heart.  Immediately, a low level buzzing could be heard as all the creatures wondered to each other who this surprising stranger could be.  

Just then the rabbit hole's mayor, an officious looking, giant rooster, burst on the scene.  His burly chest huffed and puffed with a feeling of FRENZY, so much so that the air around him began to turn cloudy and thick.  It was clear that the mayor (who was often found to be greatly agitated) was in a dither of the highest intensity about some transaction that had just occurred and he sputtered and mumbled continually, barely pausing to take a breath.


All the creatures witnessing this scene began to back away from the rambling rooster, hoping to avoid being drawn into a conversation with him.  When nearly everyone had backed away from the mayor, Alice suddenly noticed that Betsy, the new visitor, had stepped forward and was advancing toward the disconsolate figure.  Alice took a deep breath and hoped that this would not cause even more drama in the moment.


From the vantage point where she stood, Alice could only see a partial view of what was happening.  She could tell that the mayor was distraught from the way his shoulders shook but all she could see of Betsy was the calm silhouette of her back and her head which was nodding gently every so often.  


Then, after a few moments, Alice suddenly saw a bustle of energymove in the air.  She drew in closer to the scene to see what was happening and could not fathom what could have possessed  Betsy to make such a dangerous move. Betsy was HUGGING the mayor!  

And, after a few, very long seconds, HE WAS HUGGING HER BACK!


Alice was not the only person shocked at this turn of events. Everyone ALWAYS avoided getting too close to the mayor and had learned to step wayyyyyy  back when he entered the scene.  This default behavior of everyone had existed to protect them from the mayor's unpredictable and erratic blasts of emotion.  Betsy was BREAKING the unspoken Rule!   What was going to happen now, everyone wondered and hoped that Betsy would be OK.


Betsy and the Mayor stood hugging for a REALLY long time.Watching the scene, Alice felt that, as strange as might sound, maybe the mayor had NEVER been hugged before...at least, not the way Betsy was hugging him as if the hug had welled up from deep within her very heart.


All of the creatures in the rabbit hole had obviously been mesmerized by Betsy's show of courage and began to murmur among themselves.  Now the mayor and Betsy moved over to a nearby log and sat themselves down and everyone could see that his freshly starched shirt was wet with tears.  From her vantage point Alice could see the mayor smiling at Betsy and wiping his flooding eyes with a handsome linen handkerchief.


Instead of the frenzied posture he always carried, the mayor now seemed calm and even approachable.  Something about him seemed inviting, though no one could explain why that was so.  Unable to help themselves, the creatures crept closer to the mayor and found themselves smiling at him.  Soon, he noticed this and began smiling back at them.  What had produced this transformation, everyone wondered.  Why, it seemed a miracle had occurred!


Nearly all of the creatures were now circling the mayor, their hearts mysteriously opened at this unexpected show of vulnerability. Betsy moved slowly away from the mayor and found herself approached by a gentle, white dove who drew in close to where she stood.  "It's always beautiful...every time," he whispered to her.


No one but Alice saw the two talking.  Alice smiled to herself.  Obviously, 
a great secret had just been shared.  Alice did not know what the secret was, but she could see the luminous results of what had just occurred.


That night Alice went to sleep with a special prayer of gratitude on her lips.  Maybe the rabbit hole is where all of the wonderful things in life happen, she thought.


                                                                                                     

                                                                    Marie Helena
                                                                              

mage from hellaheaven-ana.blogspot.com