OK, so you just had a MELTDOWN. It happens. And it wasn’t pretty. But your “old” feelings and default reactions got the best of you. And, after all, you were triggered.
Ummm...let’s replay that. Seems like you are perhaps “targeting” whoever is on the scene, proclaiming him or her as “the responsible party”. But you know better, don’t you? If you were not carrying any hot spots, you would have no mega-reaction to what somebody else says or does. It would probably just seem interesting or strange or hard to understand.
But their remarks or actions didn’t feel so harmless because of some unhealed hurt you were carrying. This is tough to go through. You need help. And, granted, it takes time and effort to heal this pain but on the way to this important transformation, you might be able to help yourself begin to shift your emotions and “see” things in a different light. So here’s an exercise you can do with yourself.
You’ve seen game shows with contestants who have varying views on a subject. Visualize yourself as the third person on a panel of three contestants. Each of the three contestants is asked to comment on the very issue that caused your meltdown.
The first contestant talks about the explosive energy of the moment with a colorful, bombastic description but then shrugs the moment off, commenting that it’s always good for people to get that kind of energy moving out of their body. Contestant number two states very clearly that she really doesn’t appreciate conflict but knows from her own experience how important it is to get issues out in the open so she is making an effort to roll with it. Contestant number three is you...the meltdown...who said things you wish you hadn’t and clearly made the other guy “the responsible party.”
Right now, contestants number one and two are looking pretty good. You, on the other hand...not so much. Not to worry; we have a plan.
Next, in our game we bring in a Life Coach. I like to use TV’s Mel Robbins who helps people take “small steps that lead to big breakthroughs”. Since I watch Mel Robbins and already know what she will say, I become Mel’s voice talking to myself. Mel Robbins is caring and empathic and reasonable and, as I listen to HER (really me) AND I recall the really insightful attitude of contestants number one and two, I begin to visualize myself looking at things through a different lens.
A small step... but it points me in the right direction and introduces other more expansive views of the moment. Plus it’s fun to deal with a sticky problem so creatively. That puts you in charge of set design, script, casting and direction. Ready on set. In 4, 3, 2, 1.
Look where your meltdown’s got you now!
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How to Give Your Full Attention