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Friday, July 28, 2017

Altering the Chemistry of the Moment

One of the major causes of disappointment we experience in our lives is the unrealized expectation we may hold about what we want to occur.  When we are feeling anxious about what is about to happen, it is so easy to, hopefully, imagine things playing out in a way that feels comfortable and even soothing to us. Just contemplating this possibility softens our anxiety so much that we become emotionally invested in the outcome we prefer and then we become attached to it occurring in reality. And, if life intervenes (as it inevitably does) and things do not occur in the way we imagined, we feel sad, bereft, abandoned, unworthy.

It feels like our life is collapsing around us.  Everything is going wrong. There appears to be no emotional support.  But it is only the illusion we are holding that has collapsed.

This can feel like a major upset and, sadly, we have brought it upon ourselves. 

Why do we become so attached to these expectations regarding what we want to happen in our lives? Why do we rely so intensely on a "picture" we have painted by ourselves when that picture will always be created by everyone included in the encounter?

I believe we attach to our expectation because we do not feel safe or secure enough to reveal the longings of our heart for affirmation, acceptance, validation and that is because we have experienced the pain of not having those longings filled in the past.   And now we carry the baggage of this sadness and cannot bring ourselves to trust that these longings will ever be realized.  And, lacking that trust, we do not reveal our authentic emotions, consoling ourselves instead by imagining circumstances in our ideal world that would perfectly meet our needs.  As if everyone would automatically know what would bring us joy and peace and have the energy to bring them into our lives.

The problem here is that we become obsessed with the expectation from our imagining, holding fast to this "fix" we feel we so desperately need, crowding out any possible concern for others who are involved in the drama of the moment. 

In real life we are not the only ones with needs.  All of the players in our lives also have needs but the scenario we imagine in which our longings are realized does not take those needs into account.  We are entirely focused on our pain.  We walk into the theater of our imagining expecting to see the play we "bought a ticket for" and, lo and behold, another production is playing.

We miss the vital information of how each player is being affected in this moment because our hurt, our unmet need, has clearly overridden this important aspect of the encounter.  When we find ourselves becoming attached to an expectation, it is important to extend some beautiful compassion to ourselves.  We are carrying pain and it is pain"ful”.  As we relax into the love we are showing ourselves, a new sense of empowerment begins to grow within us and we begin to experience the energy we need to help ourselves heal from the emotional pain we are suffering.  We do this by sharing the longings of our heart. 

This is a wonderful and important opportunity for us to be BRAVE and COURAGEOUS and consciously vulnerable, to change the default pattern of how we respond to the sadness of not having our needs met. When others hear us authentically express what is in our heart,
the chemistry of the moment alters in a profound way.

There is a beautiful gift embedded in this undertaking.  When we take responsibility for finding a way to meet the longings of our heart, we feel EMPOWERED and in control of our lives.  And, from that place of power, our heart is open to hearing the needs of others and then co-creating together with them the very best way to take care of all persons involved in this moment.

To do this is to walk out of the stance of victimhood and, simultaneously, to free ourselves from the suffering we have inadvertently brought upon ourselves because we had not yet found a way to move beyond our sadness. But the answer to relieving the sadness IS in our reach. And it will take a STRONG DESIRE to heal ourselves and the BELIEF that WE ARE WORTHY of love and that others want to love us in whatever way they can based on the energy that is available to them in that moment of their lives.

There is so much we can do to move beyond the painful default reactions we carry.  Our usual go-to places.  As Alberto Villoldo suggests in his book Courageous Dreaming, become the hero of your life, daring to speak from the depths of your heart revealing your human vulnerability. You will access a loving generosity, a power beyond measure that will alter the trajectory of your life and everyone who moves within it.

Marie Helena

image from pinterest

Saturday, July 22, 2017


The Voice of an Angel...Andrea Bocelli...
  my go-to place for heart connection!

Italian tenor and singer/songwriter Andrea Bocelli is a very important part of my morning ritual.  I am not by nature a morning dove...rather a night blooming jasmine.  But when this jasmine awakens to (very slowly) acclimate to the morning, Bocelli's music is what begins the process of my energizing.

I've been listening to and loving Bocelli for quite some time.  His voice connects with my soul and though I studied a little Italian in preparation for a beautiful encounter with Firenze several years ago, the fact is I do not understand what this impressive tenor is singing.

And it makes no difference to me because it is ONLY the words I do not understand. 

The FEELINGS expressed by his beautiful voice ARE  the MESSAGE and they SPEAK to me.  And they do MORE than that...they vibrate with the sweep of my heart.

And I am mesmerized by this vibration...it SUSTAINS me.   This impulse tells me it is my HEART that is designed to direct the music of my life...not my intellect (though I dearly love to exercise it).   
I believe this is true of everyone.

In some individuals the heart may be sleeping...hibernating...because of unhealed pain, protecting itself from life's countless and often unpredictable adventures.  But the desire to FEEL is a human need we all share.

And the OPPORTUNITY to feel and to have the feeling RECOGNIZED is a Gift of Life.

The Divine Universe is unendingly creative in the way it sends its messages to us. Just this morning I realized I had received another tapping of this awareness a few days ago when I attended a planning meeting in Florida with David Webber, Chief Operating Officer of Practice Technology, Inc., who commented to me that he always reads his email for the FEELING of the writer, not for the words. 

It is not the words of Andrea Bocelli that affect me so profoundly.  It is the WAY he sings those lyrics.  And it is not the words of an email that David Webber "hears"...it is the message of a heart.

Is your heart vibrating with emotion?  Have you given yourself permission to feel this primal longing?  And do you "hear" the HeartSounds of everyone around you?

                                                                                                  Marie Helena 

image of Andrea Bocellil from sonbab.deviantart.com 
Andrea Bocelli by sonbab

Monday, July 17, 2017

The Night Blooming Jasmine in Your Heart
by Marie Helena
Dawn Light Press

reviewed by Rebecca L. Morgan

"We live on a verdant, lush planet of infinite possibility. We are surrounded by fascinating individuals, each with his or her own preferences, experiences, values, feelings. Everyone has a story to tell."

Through a concise collection of elegant, narrative prose, this mystic-themed guide beckons the reader to amend his or her way of approaching daily challenges by making a psychological shift in thinking. Revolving around the representation of the jasmine plant, whose blossoms open in darkness, each chapter serves as a kaleidoscope of poignant, inspirational messages. The opening passage introduces the premise of discovering the beauty within oneself when one chooses to recognize and appreciate the existence of beauty in all things. This initial chapter sets the pace of the book, which persuades the reader to examine each word with precision in order to engage in an emotional exploration of self.

Transformation of thought is a key concept presented in each message. The author examines one's unlimited power to alter our reality by changing the way a story is perceived. She reveals her success with this process in her own personal quest for peace. By creating a new, fictionalized story to associate with a disturbing occurrence, she is able to transition from a state of unrest to one of tranquility. This uncommon approach to adapting to our environment and experiences offers an enchanting theory for overcoming grief and suffering. Like the jasmine, we have the opportunity to awaken and reveal our best selves in moments of darkness if we are willing to embrace all aspects of life's journey.

The author is skilled in the practice of Kotodama, the Japanese belief that words contain mystical powers. Through carefully selected text, the skillfully crafted passages deliver gentle reminders of patience and gratitude. Precisely selected words form the messages of compassion, mindfulness, and personal development presented throughout the book. Each chapter is accompanied by a charming watercolor botanical print, reinforcing the connection between self and nature. The balance of art and spiritual guidance elevate the desire to identify emotional barriers in order to evolve. Each segment is designed to serve as a stepping stone of acceptance toward a greater presence of being.

Nature is a prominent subject throughout the book. Having studied spirituality for over twenty years, the author effortlessly shares her knowledge through small stories of information often influenced by flowers and the divine energy that exists in our surroundings. These narratives highlight the benefits of harnessing positive energy as we examine our untapped emotions and perception of the world. Psychology is also a theme addressed in several chapters as the author reveals the importance of empathy when confronted by negative behavior from others and how to gracefully react in these situations. 

This is a spiritual guide for those seeking personal growth and awareness. By offering soothing words of encouragement, the author invites us to embrace our unique gifts and discover the abundance of blessings we receive when we contribute our talents for the good of humanity. The passages persuade the reader to envision each day as a celebration. The essential lesson emphasized throughout this book is that the answers we seek lie in our ability to listen to the silence. This is a brief read that is easy to devour, however the reader is inclined to savor the words and regularly revisit the delicate construction of lines masterly weaved by the author. 

Friday, July 7, 2017

Hold the Crying Baby


Hold the crying baby.

This is a story of LOVE.

We all know what to do when a baby cries.

We check to see if the baby is hungry...whether it is uncomfortable or if something is distressing it.

If we do not find a problem, we scoop the baby up into our arms and hold the crying baby, offering it the warmth, peacefulness and security of our embrace.

Holding the crying baby is a gift of pure and unconditional love that we do by instinct and we freely extend this gift to others in need.

But it is also important to extend this gift
TO OURSELVES when we are.experiencing an unanticipated and distressing reaction to something that has occurred.


Our earth journey is fraught with many challenges, many mountains to climb and many unprecedented heights to scale.

When we experience a dramatic and emotional reaction to something that has happened, we may not even be sure whether it is coming from a person or event.  

While we are lost in the emotions washing over us and we are trying to identify the source of our distress, it is important for us to remember that the reaction is coming from our unhealed pain. 

And because we are in pain this is when we need to hold our crying baby, giving it unconditional love and acceptance… making it feel soothed and supported and cared for.

It is so important that we give attention to the needs which are making themselves known to us with such dissonance and uneven energy.

If, instead, we berate or judge ourselves…we create an overlay on the situation and obstruct the process of gaining a soul perspective about what is really occurring.

What is needed is to hold the crying baby. 

When we receive the comfort and compassion we so desperately need we center ourselves and are better able to discern what is truly happening and what we can do to restore peace to our hearts.

Hold the crying baby.  See what
can do.

                                                                               Marie Helena

image from Baby Clipart.net

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Beneath the Rocky Surface

  Sometimes the Universe delivers its messages to us through very surprising messengers.  Ones we may not recognize nor appreciate.  And that is the reason why we should pay special attention to what is happening to us even when it's not comfortable...like when someone confronts us or calls us out about something we said or did.  Our first reaction may be "Ouch!" but a beautiful light may lie beneath that rocky surface, a light that will empower us to stretch and grow.

Here's the reason there could be a hidden gift in this picture and it may surprise you:
It's because what you hear may help make you FREE.  I heard this sentiment expressed a couple of weeks ago and did a double take on it until I really thought about it and heard the reasoning behind it.

We are not always able to see ourselves objectively and certainly not when our emotions have become embroiled.  Therefore, we may be missing important information about what is going on inside us.  A bystander, friend (or even foe) or Significant Other, however, may be able to see something we just might want or need to pay attention to...something that is keeping us tethered to unconscious behavior and something that is not in our best interest, self-satisfying though it may be.   And, if we tune in and really hear that "something" pointed out, we can at least be aware of it and entertain the possibility that it has some truth in it...a truth that may be really difficult for us to hear or face for some unknown reason. 

And, in fact, the individual who makes the unwelcome comment may be a heavenly messenger who actually helps us reach the next,grandest version of ourselves, although in a most unanticipated manner.  The Divine Universe may be deeming us ready to step up and deal and, if we have the courage to step out of our default reaction and into the possibility of a new view of ourselves, we may receive the grace and guidance to make a stunning transformation.

Of course, we will have to discard what might be some "colorful" wrappings on the message (heated emotion, edgy tone, flushed face) and find the gem that could be hiding behind the masquerade.  And here's another relevant point, if WE feel a reaction to someone else's reaction, then you can bet there is something big we're carrying inside that has just hit the light of day.

 Opportunity is knocking.  Is anyone there?

The question is:   Will we find the soul message that could be buried beneath the discomfort, an edgy encounter that may be necessary because we have missed earlier clues sent our way?

Divine Messengers come in many disguises offering us the opportunity to tap into our courage and wisdom to check and see if a message is waiting to get our attention.  

Who is REALLY sitting beside you?

                                                                                   Marie Helena