Choosing Happiness

In order to choose HAPPINESS we need to create a single positive change in our life that shows us our behavior matters.  
                     
Shawn Achor


Although we may sometimes feel otherwise, we are NOT victims of happenstance, random leaves blowing in the wind of  destiny.

We are CREATORS.  We create our lives through the direction in which we choose to place our attention and, if we do not consciously choose the direction in which we want to move, we automatically default to the energy of our subconscious.  If our subconscious harbors unresolved pain, authentic messages of distress that have not been spoken, it will step in and seize the opportunity to be "heard".

And that's exactly when it is easy to feel helpless and out of control.  Our old stories are "talking" to us, singing the same upsetting songs over and over.  It is definitely time to rewrite those lyrics to choose happiness instead and we are the perfect songwriters for this assignment.

But we need motivation to do this...and energy...and the belief that it will make a difference.  And maybe we are already tired from the adventures of our day. 


What if there were a way to easily take control of our REACTIONS  and turn them instead into calm, centered RESPONSES?  Here's a strategy to do just that from Shawn Achor, Founder of the Institute of Positive Research and GoodThinkInc. and author of The Happiness Advantage.

Achor says it doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full as long as we have the pitcher to fill it up.  And we cannot only fill up our glass, we can fill up the glasses of other people around us and that is because every change we make in our energy field affects the energy fields of everyone else.

Achor's prescription:

Wake up each morning and practice saying three things you are grateful for (they must be new each day) for 21 days.

Those two minutes a day, says Achor, are extremely powerful in rewiring your brain even if you have been a confirmed pessimist for some time.  Those two minutes are so significant they will even trump your genes and your environment.


Here's how our brain works.  We are constantly constructing a world based upon the facts that we have and, if we're looking at all the negative facts, we've got a negative world.

But, change that thinking...CHOOSE to focus on what's bright and beautiful and what has brought us happiness...and now we're dealing with a very different picture.



And, Achor has another powerful exercise to help us:
"Think of one meaningful experience you've had over the last twenty-four hours and in two minutes, write down every detail you can remember.  The reason for that is you're trying to get your brain to relive the experience.  We can't tell much difference between visualization and actual experience so when we journal about the meaningful experience, we literally double it and, if we do it for 21 days, it creates a trajectory meaning running throughout our lives."



All of this sounded like a great idea so this morning I gave it a try.  And, oh, yes, I LOVED it...I LOVED it so much that I started remembering other meaningful moments of the day.  And right then...when I was filled up with wonderful and happy vibrations of those lovely moments...is when I got one of the BEST ideas I have ever had.  (Wow!  Was this process working fast!)

Here's my fabulous idea.  It's so easy to feel reactive when someone says or does something unexpected or upsetting...kind of feels like you don't have control over what is coming at you and that is often when we leave our "best" behavior behind in the dust.   

My idea is:  No matter what anyone says or does (and especially if what that person says or does is upsetting), I find a way to compliment him.  And I mean an authentic compliment regarding his concern for the issue.  If we use our creativity and sprinkle it with a dose of compassion, we can ALWAYS find something in the moment to honor.


I got a chance to use this idea today...three times...and I was prepared for this because of the commitment I made this morning.  I took a deep breath and ventured into the new default response I am cultivating.  And I was shocked at how easy it was and how effective  it was in transforming the energy of the moment.

When we give an authentic, sincere compliment to someone, we tend to speak gently which is helpful in calming us and, in turn, influences the other person to match us in tone and vibration.  (Deep breath, everyone...)  Now that everyone feels calmer, it suddenly seems easier to discuss the issue or softly request it be addressed at another time. 

Following this intention gives us CONTROL of our environment and what is happening in it because we are deliberately choosing to bring attention, awareness and acknowledgment to the situation.  When we can actively influence things to go more smoothly, our body goes into a relaxation mode, helping us heal from any distress.  And those relaxing vibrations seem to reach everyone involved in the situation.


"Can it be this easy?" I asked myself when all was said and done.  And the answer came through:  a resounding YES!  Love and Compassion for ourselves and everyone we interact with will ALWAYS encourage the appearance in every scene of our best selves.

I choose happiness EVERY moment of the day!


                                                                                   Marie Helena




image from www.catherinedeveny.com