The Honoring of Pain

When I am healed,

  I am not healed alone.

A Course in Miracles

         

 
Even though we may make a practice of consciously expressing ourselves in a thoughtful, considerate manner, when we speak to others, sometimes the words we choose or the way we speak them unwittingly ignite a land mine of unhealed emotions buried in someone's psyche.  And, sometimes, the person we are addressing is not even aware that the turbulence now showing itself has been brewing under the surface. 

In this moment, without meaning to, we have pressed a hot button and our button-pressing, unfortunately, gives way to an explosion of fear based emotion fiercely aimed in our direction. 

Voices intensify. Energy steeps and stews.  Now EVERYBODY is feeling agitated and the stage is set for torment and tribulation.

Or not.



WHAT IF in our own emotional evolution, we have learned a powerful way to defuse a distressing situation...and bring insight to the chaos?
 
WHAT IF we have learned to OBJECTIVELY observe what is occurring?  To step back and dispassionately discern another's distressful reaction?   

WHAT IF with compassion (and no trace of judgment) we were to gently and patiently ask the other if fear or anxiety has flared up in them in that moment?  To ask what conclusions they may have drawn?  What pain they may be feeling?

WHAT IF we were to study their PROCESS to help us understand the "message" of their emotions? 


Moving from the heat of the moment's reaction to a gentle desire to understand what is transpiring in another is a profound act of transformation.  It is the practice of alchemy...the process of transmuting a common substance into a substance of great value...for the gift of compassion and the desire to understand bring to light pain that needs to be released and a heart badly in need of soothing.  


Is there a greater gift we can give to another than to see and hear and honor what has unconsciously been driving their behavior and deeply affecting their view of the world?

We are here together to minister to each other and help release the pain that is preventing the experience of joy.  

We are here together to listen to the "music" of each other's heart...no matter the cadence or cacophony...creating a symphony of acceptance, love and understanding.  

We are here together to share the treasure of our own spiritual evolution.


The honoring of pain...however it shows itself...is a most eloquent expression of compassion.  And, when we create these moments of beauty, we experience the wonder of that gift being reflected back to us by others who have been touched by the gentleness of our hearts.  


                                                                                      Marie Helena


 image from innerharmony.com