DANCING in the Rain

STORMS are mysterious things. 

They are gray and dark and  feel uncomfortable as if something is off kilter and is trying to right itself.  

They can make us feel apprehensive or fearfulwhile we are waiting for them to pass. 

But even though storms can feel threatening to us,  they carry a beautiful message...crackling and  sparking, twisting and  turning in tumult and turbulence but eventually finding their way to clarity and ease.

And when they do, there is a glorious release on mother earth, the resonant rhythm of  RAIN.
 
 
So dance,  dance in the rain...the beautiful shower of  GRACEwhich illuminates your life, inevitably pointing you to the next highest path of your journey.   

But dance, dance also in and through the storm, too, for that storm is your readiness to acknowledge, confront, feel and release what you have previously placed aside.   


And this process...this journey...though challenging isBEAUTIFUL and sings your courage to leave the old, familiar, unconscious habits that have shortchanged your joy and brought you suffering...and move instead to embrace new paths that will bring you to freedom and peace.


All of LIFE is a dance.  Don't miss ONE  BAR of the beautiful music.

                          Marie Helena

image from marliina.blogspot.com

originally published September 21, 2012

Altering the Chemistry of the Moment

One of the major causes of disappointment we experience in our lives is the unrealized expectation we may hold about what we want to occur. When we are feeling anxious about what is about to happen, it is so easy to, hopefully, imagine things playing out in a way that feels comfortable and even soothing to us. Just contemplating this possibility softens our anxiety so much that we become emotionally invested in the outcome we prefer and then we become attached to it occurring in reality. And, if life intervenes (as it inevitably does) and things do not occur in the way we imagined, we feel sad, bereft, abandoned, unworthy.

It feels like our life is collapsing around us.  Everything is going wrong. There appears to be no emotional support.  But it is only the illusion we are holding that has collapsed. 

This can feel like a major upset and, sadly, we have brought it upon ourselves.  

Why do we become so attached to these expectationsregarding what we want to happen in our lives? Why do we rely so intensely on a "picture" we have painted by ourselves when that picture will always be created by everyone included in the encounter?


I believe we attach to our expectation because we do not feel safe or secure enough to reveal the longings of our heart for affirmation, acceptance, validation and that is because we have experienced the pain of not having those longings filled in the past.   And now we carry the baggage of this sadness and cannot bring ourselves to trust that these longings will ever be realized.  And, lacking that trust, we do not reveal our authentic emotions, consoling ourselves instead by imagining circumstances in our ideal world that would perfectly meet our needs.  As if everyone would automatically know what would bring us joy and peace and have the energy to bring them into our lives.

The problem here is that we become obsessed with the expectation from our imagining, holding fast to this "fix" we feel we so desperately need, crowding out any possible concern for others who are involved in the drama of the moment.  

In real life we are not the only ones with needs.  All of the players in our lives also have needs but the scenario we imagine in which our longings are realized does not take those needs into account.  We are entirely focused on our pain.  We walk into the theater of our imagining expecting to see the play we "bought a ticket for" and, lo and behold, another production is playing.

We miss the vital information of how each player is being affected in this moment because our hurt, our unmet need, has clearly overridden this important aspect of the encounter.  When we find ourselves becoming attached to an expectation, it is important to extend some beautiful compassion to ourselves.  We are carrying pain and it is pain"ful”.  As we relax into the love we are showing ourselves, a new sense of empowerment begins to grow within us and we begin to experience the energy we need to help ourselves heal from the emotional pain we are suffering.  We do this by sharing the longings of our heart.  


This is a wonderful and important opportunity for us to beBRAVE and COURAGEOUS and consciously vulnerable, to change the default pattern of how we respond to the sadness of not having our needs met. When others hear us authentically express what is in our heart, 
the chemistry of the moment alters in a profound way.


There is a beautiful gift embedded in this undertaking.  When we take responsibility for finding a way to meet the longings of our heart, we feel EMPOWERED and in control of our lives.  And, from that place of power, our heart is open to hearing the needs of others and then co-creating together with them the very best way to take care of all persons involved in this moment.

To do this is to walk out of the stance of victimhood and, simultaneously, to free ourselves from the suffering we have inadvertently brought upon ourselves because we had not yet found a way to move beyond our sadness. But the answer to relieving the sadness IS in our reach. And it will take a STRONG DESIRE to heal ourselves and the BELIEF that WE ARE WORTHY of love and that others want to love us in whatever way they can based on the energy that is available to them in that moment of their lives.

There is so much we can do to move beyond the painful default reactions we carry.  Our usual go-to places.  As Alberto Villoldo suggests in his book Courageous Dreaming, become the hero of your life, daring to speak from the depths of your heart revealing your human vulnerability. You will access a loving generosity, a power beyond measure that will alter the trajectory of your life and everyone who moves within it.


                   
                                               Marie Helena


image from pinterest

Down the Rabbit Hole: The Mayor, Betsy and a White Dove

One morning Alice was feeling especially tired because she had eaten too many sweet peas the previous night and had stayed up late frolicking with the caterpillars who insisted on dancing "The Locomotion" in never ending circles around the garden.  As she made her way through the village commons, she noticed several other rabbit hole creatures looking weary and out-of-sorts; some were even complaining crabbily about the butterflies winging good naturedly over their heads.


Oh, this is going to be a loooong and very tiresome day, Alice thought, feeling the vibes of disgruntlement all around her.
  

Soon after, Alice noticed that a new visitor to the rabbit hole had entered the square...a pretty brown mole wearing a blue and white checked apron with the name Betsy embroidered on it and a smile that could melt the coldest heart.  Immediately, a low level buzzing could be heard as all the creatures wondered to each other who this surprising stranger could be.  

Just then the rabbit hole's mayor, an officious looking, giant rooster, burst on the scene.  His burly chest huffed and puffed with a feeling of FRENZY, so much so that the air around him began to turn cloudy and thick.  It was clear that the mayor (who was often found to be greatly agitated) was in a dither of the highest intensity about some transaction that had just occurred and he sputtered and mumbled continually, barely pausing to take a breath.


All the creatures witnessing this scene began to back away from the rambling rooster, hoping to avoid being drawn into a conversation with him.  When nearly everyone had backed away from the mayor, Alice suddenly noticed that Betsy, the new visitor, had stepped forward and was advancing toward the disconsolate figure.  Alice took a deep breath and hoped that this would not cause even more drama in the moment.


From the vantage point where she stood, Alice could only see a partial view of what was happening.  She could tell that the mayor was distraught from the way his shoulders shook but all she could see of Betsy was the calm silhouette of her back and her head which was nodding gently every so often.  


Then, after a few moments, Alice suddenly saw a bustle of energymove in the air.  She drew in closer to the scene to see what was happening and could not fathom what could have possessed  Betsy to make such a dangerous move. Betsy was HUGGING the mayor!  

And, after a few, very long seconds, HE WAS HUGGING HER BACK!


Alice was not the only person shocked at this turn of events. Everyone ALWAYS avoided getting too close to the mayor and had learned to step wayyyyyy  back when he entered the scene.  This default behavior of everyone had existed to protect them from the mayor's unpredictable and erratic blasts of emotion.  Betsy was BREAKING the unspoken Rule!   What was going to happen now, everyone wondered and hoped that Betsy would be OK.


Betsy and the Mayor stood hugging for a REALLY long time.Watching the scene, Alice felt that, as strange as might sound, maybe the mayor had NEVER been hugged before...at least, not the way Betsy was hugging him as if the hug had welled up from deep within her very heart.


All of the creatures in the rabbit hole had obviously been mesmerized by Betsy's show of courage and began to murmur among themselves.  Now the mayor and Betsy moved over to a nearby log and sat themselves down and everyone could see that his freshly starched shirt was wet with tears.  From her vantage point Alice could see the mayor smiling at Betsy and wiping his flooding eyes with a handsome linen handkerchief.


Instead of the frenzied posture he always carried, the mayor now seemed calm and even approachable.  Something about him seemed inviting, though no one could explain why that was so.  Unable to help themselves, the creatures crept closer to the mayor and found themselves smiling at him.  Soon, he noticed this and began smiling back at them.  What had produced this transformation, everyone wondered.  Why, it seemed a miracle had occurred!


Nearly all of the creatures were now circling the mayor, their hearts mysteriously opened at this unexpected show of vulnerability. Betsy moved slowly away from the mayor and found herself approached by a gentle, white dove who drew in close to where she stood.  "It's always beautiful...every time," he whispered to her.


No one but Alice saw the two talking.  Alice smiled to herself.  Obviously, 
a great secret had just been shared.  Alice did not know what the secret was, but she could see the luminous results of what had just occurred.


That night Alice went to sleep with a special prayer of gratitude on her lips.  Maybe the rabbit hole is where all of the wonderful things in life happen, she thought.


                                                                                                     

                                                                    Marie Helena

                                                                              

mage from hellaheaven-ana.blogspot.com

Down the Rabbit Hole: Alice Discovers the Rulebooks

There was soooo much to discover, Alice realized, as she blinked repeatedly, wide-eyed at the strange goings-on in the rabbit hole.  



The bizarre behavior she encounteredfrom the various creatures chattering and buzzing about made no sense to her UNTIL she realized that it MADE SENSE to them.  And that was the very secret she uncovered that helped her to understand and navigate this bewildering territory.  

 
Apparently, each of the characters in the rabbit hole had his or her own Rulebook.  And each Rulebook was different from all the others.  It seemed these Rulebooks were not easy to come by and one had to experience some perilous adventures to earn this achievement.  And, furthermore, she discovered, the precepts written in the Rulebooks might magically disappear at any time to be replaced with new prescriptions.  It all seemed to depend on the actions of the characters, she observed, though she wasn't sure that they realized they had this power.

The Rulebooks seemed to be especially important to Alice because they helped her make sense of the thespians' behavior.  Alice began to pay close attention to the interface of the characters' actions and what she deduced was written in their Rulebooks and things began to make sense to her.  She realized that the Rules were there to protect each character.  They appeared in the Rulebook as needed and could be changed or even erased depending on what the character learned from his experiences.
 

Not every character down the rabbit hole was ready to learn anything.  Many of them seemed agitated and anxious; some were totally convinced they already knew everything.  The behavior they exhibited often tried Alice's patience but, over time, she realized they were stuck in a default loop that kept repeating itself.
 

What was Alice to do?  At first, she tried to argue with them; later, she avoided their company as best she could.  But Alice was not happy doing this and she WANTED to be...even if she WAS smack in the center of the rabbit hole.


One day Alice was in an especially happy mood and she decided to try to be VERY patient with the mad hatter.  She listened patiently while he hopped in circles, talking incessantly, trying her best to be attentive and understand what he was saying.  Then, a funny thing happened.  The Mad hatter began to notice that Alice was paying attention and he was NOT used to anyone REALLY listening to him.  He began to look at Alice every few seconds while he was chattering and, then, an amazing thing occurred.  He began to speak slower and slower and before long he slid onto a toadstool near Alice and stopped talking completely, watching her face for a response.


Alice was amazed.  No one had EVER slowed down the mad hatter before.  What was happening here, she wondered.  As Alice continued to give her rapt attention to him, she saw a light began to shine in his eyes.  The light grew bigger and brighter.  Soon it spread to his whole body.  Oh my, thought Alice...he is GLOWING.
 

Alice thought about his new behavior.  She had been very sure that the Mad Hatter's Rulebook stated that he should keep moving and chattering away as that is what he always did.  Now, it seemed to Alice, that his behavior had changed and, therefore, his Rules.
 

How did this happen, Alice wondered.  She had not tried to talk the Mad Hatter into doing things differently.  She had not argued with him nor tried to persuade him to make a change.  In fact, she had done her best to honor and respect his frantic behavior.  Alice felt the erratic movements of the Mad Hatter must have been prescribed in his Rulebook and that the Rule must have existed for some good reason even if she didn't know what it was.  What she had done now was just give the Mad Hatter her interest and care...and he had noticed...and it had circumvented his usual pattern.

THIS was something VERY significant, Alice thought and wondered about the powerful transformation she had witnessed.  The Mad Hatter was still sitting quietly and he was still glowing very brightly...so brightly that many other creatures wandered over to see what had caused this transformation. 

Alice theorized that if the Mad Hatter was sitting still, then a new Rule must have appeared in his Rulebook for he looked very relaxed and happy.



Suddenly, Alice noticed that the Mad Hatter was beginning to look lighter and lighter.  Soon he seemed almost luminous.  Alice thought he might drift away but instead he began to share his glow with the creatures standing near him.  
 



Alice was amazed and delighted and, most of all, she felt happy.  And that is when the Rules in her Rulebook changed.  She sighed contentedly and plopped onto a nearby toadstool.
 

Who was it, she wondered, who had created the Rulebooks and had mysteriously given each creature the power to change the Rules.  This, she thought, would surely be a great question for one of her next, fabulous adventures.

                                                                                   
                                                                                             
                                                                                                          Marie Helena 




  image from commons.wikimedia.org             

The Acceptance of Grief

Whenever we experience a loss...and, especially, a significant loss...we are thrust with great impact into the work of GRIEVING.

The process of grief can occur quite naturally for us if we have a clear channel open to our emotions.  

Hopefully, we have been fortunate enough to learn by instruction, example or experience the importance of letting ourselves feel and express our emotions...such a significant lesson to learn for our happiness and health.  

And, because we have learned this lesson, we are able to allow ourselves to experience the natural expression of our pain and distress.

This reflection is not about that process. 

 It is about what happens AFTER  we grieve.  

We may be able to express our emotions freely whether it is through words or tears or sensory experiences of the body.  But where that grief takes us NEXT is worth pondering.

The grieving process can leave us with a heaviness and sadness...permeating our day as we carry it through our every thought, word or action.

The process can color our day so strongly that it seems impossible to get out from under this storm.

Or...

This process can free our spirit 

as the rain opens the sky to the sun...

as Mother Earth nurtures the seeds which have been planted on her terrain...

as the crying baby responds to having its needs met and now sees the world with eyes of beauty and wonder.

The process of grieving is truly beautiful...

representing our connection with another,
our treasuring of the gifts of that connection  

and, because we enter directly into feeling the experience, it represents our ACCEPTANCE of the natural unfolding of the Divine Universe.  

This unfolding carries the truths of the universe, some easy to embrace, some more challenging. 

There is nothing for us to do but BE in this moment.

Like the underside of a work of embroidery, our lives can appear to have many loose, chaotic strands, but when we turn the fabric over the beauty that is intended emerges.

In our earth journey we mostly see the haphazard strands with no clear pattern emerging...but our spirit knows the beauty of the work of art that is our lives and the way in which that art is unfolding.

An awareness of and a faith in this process help us to know on a soul level that the acceptance of our expression of grief is an affirmation of our humanity.

It is a gift...a cleansing...ultimately nurturing and preparing us for whatever work lies ahead in our journey. 

It is an important part of the rhythm and music and pace of LIFE itself.

                                 Marie Helena 

A New Year’s “Light” Show

After the magical days of Christmas holidays…when pine-scented boughs and cranberry candles perfumed the air and glittering lights whispered their grace-filled secrets into our happy hearts…decorating our spaces with joy and celebration…

after these magnificent days have passed and things have grown so very quiet and restful the steady, sure-footed march of the New Year alights on our doorstep, enters our homes and slides into our hearts.

It’s time…to renew and redirect our energy to the wonderful life we have imagined and make the changes that were placed on hold as we made merry and felt merry and loved the "merry" of the holidays.

Now, there is a NEW JOY that awaits us and it is born of reflection and inspiration and discipline…our New Year’s Resolutions.

Much has been said and advised about NYR’s…suggestions that we examine our lives, compiling a list of every changewe can imagine…suggestions that we make NO resolutionsand not place ourselves under that kind of stress... even a suggestion that we only try to improve ourselves by one percent in the category we identify as “most needed” or, even better, “most desired” and, thereby, let our accumulated steady, slow progress become its own source of motivation.

This morning in the quiet moments when I found myself awakening a different thought occurred to me.  

I had been searching for a simple resolution…one that would be easy to hold onto and yet would change my perspective and this is what arrived in response to my request:

As you go through the day and encounter many moments…some relaxing and some difficult and challenging…as you go through the day, just take a moment and imagine how your Higher Self would respond to what is happening. Do not put any pressure on yourself to do what Higher Self would do. Only imagine it and take note.

This sounded wonderful to me…and it feels instinctively that just choosing to put myself in the place of imagining a Higher Response would do some subtle, behind-the-scene work for me even while I went busily about my day, impressing my consciousness with a more beautiful, more loving, more joyful way to navigate it…and, most importantly, a way to be my own SOURCE of happiness and satisfaction.

And it actually sounds and feels quite practical, too, to become, on a continuing basis, the ANCHOR for my joy.

So I am going to give it a pop! This means I may pause a few seconds before I react and respond to what is going on…allowing myself the time and perspective I need to call up a Higher inspiration than what would automatically appear on my default button.

It will be very interesting to take this journey and, no doubt, it will have its own BRILLIANT LIGHT SHOW as I enter into this universe!

                               Marie Helena

A New Year’s “Light” Show

After the magical days of Christmas holidays…when pine-scented boughs and cranberry candles perfumed the air and glittering lights whispered their grace-filled secrets into our happy hearts…decorating our spaces with joy and celebration…

after these magnificent days have passed and things have grown so very quiet and restful the steady, sure-footed march of the New Year alights on our doorstep, enters our homes and slides into our hearts.

It’s time…to renew and redirect our energy to the wonderful life we have imagined and make the changes that were placed on hold as we made merry and felt merry and loved the "merry" of the holidays.

Now, there is a NEW JOY that awaits us and it is born of reflection and inspiration and discipline…our New Year’s Resolutions.

Much has been said and advised about NYR’s…suggestions that we examine our lives, compiling a list of every changewe can imagine…suggestions that we make NO resolutionsand not place ourselves under that kind of stress... even a suggestion that we only try to improve ourselves by one percent in the category we identify as “most needed” or, even better, “most desired” and, thereby, let our accumulated steady, slow progress become its own source of motivation.

This morning in the quiet moments when I found myself awakening a different thought occurred to me.  

I had been searching for a simple resolution…one that would be easy to hold onto and yet would change my perspective and this is what arrived in response to my request:

As you go through the day and encounter many moments…some relaxing and some difficult and challenging…as you go through the day, just take a moment and imagine how your Higher Self would respond to what is happening. Do not put any pressure on yourself to do what Higher Self would do. Only imagine it and take note.

This sounded wonderful to me…and it feels instinctively that just choosing to put myself in the place of imagining a Higher Response would do some subtle, behind-the-scene work for me even while I went busily about my day, impressing my consciousness with a more beautiful, more loving, more joyful way to navigate it…and, most importantly, a way to be my own SOURCE of happiness and satisfaction.

And it actually sounds and feels quite practical, too, to become, on a continuing basis, the ANCHOR for my joy.

So I am going to give it a pop! This means I may pause a few seconds before I react and respond to what is going on…allowing myself the time and perspective I need to call up a Higher inspiration than what would automatically appear on my default button.

It will be very interesting to take this journey and, no doubt, it will have its own BRILLIANT LIGHT SHOW as I enter into this universe!

                               Marie Helena