The Author of Our Stories

    

Everything in your story is constantly changing, including the story that you tell yourself about who you are. 

             don Miguel Ruiz
  

                                                    

The bedtime stories we tell our children are so appealing to them because they resonate with their hearts. There is adventure in them...challenge, victory.  By the end of the story ultimately, peace prevails...and joy...two things we all long for.  


Little children sleep so peacefully after hearing a loving narration such as this because The Divine Universe is leading us back to the realization that we truly are Pure Love and that our essence is bright, bold, beautiful, expansive.  The guardians of our lives… parents and parent figures...are meant to live the role of gentle reminders to us of our awesome nature.

As we grow and mature, we take over the role of the parental figure as storyteller to ourselves.  But, sometimes, we forget the truth of what we felt so strongly as children..the joy  of our  invincibility.  We  forget Who We Truly Are.  And, often, our stories begin to show evidence of disappointment and self judgment because the world tries to inflict its own values upon us and, in trying to satisfy others, we override the innate clarity we possessed as children in knowing so clearly what "music" made our hearts sing.

 
And, so, we are sometimes left with stories mirroring the expectation of others and the pain of our compliance because we do not recognize our worthiness, our endowment in the Grand Experiment to return to Who We Truly Are.


Don Miguel Ruiz reminds us that the stories we tell ourselves...the stories we, therefore, live...are constantly evolving, reflecting the changing image we hold of ourselves.  If we subject ourselves to the burden of meeting others' expectations, that is what our stories...and lives...will reflect.  And they may well hold unconscious anger and deep resentment.   Conversely, if we are open to the many clues The Divine Universe provides us with and we honor its guidance, we come to clearly see that true happiness does not result from following the perceptions and value systems of others but rather from  listening to the guidance of OUR OWN HEARTS.  And, when we do, we experience a deep sense that all is right with the world and, that is, because all is right in our own hearts.   


We are meant to be the authors of our stories.  The acceptance of this wisdom transforms our stories with the alchemy of love, returning them to the beauty and joy and simplicity of our childhood innocence and wisdom when we possessed the clarity of knowing what felt right for us and the boldness and courage to bring it into our lives.


Can you clearly see the stories you tell yourself?  And, can you recognize that these stories proceed from the beliefs you hold, regardless of where you got them?


If your beliefs are not bringing you peace and joy, perhaps they are not truly resonant with Who You Truly Are.  Can you consider finding a story that brings you to this beautiful place? And, are you willing to see if that new story truly fills the longing of your heart?


                                                                                           Marie Helena


image from glogster.com

Road to Amazement

Oh, how we love to be in COMPLETE CONTROL 
of our lives. 

The technical and artistic designer.  

With a strong, persistent vision. 

We LOVE to construct our experiences.   Place them in a box of our design.  

We can see them in our mind playing out beautifully.  Just as we imagined.

In this picture there is precision and polish.  Everything works just as we envision  it.  Stimulus...response.   Action...reaction.  

 
It's our story and it's a work of art

But...are we missing something?

Is this picture we have so carefully planned going to help us create the life we want for ourselves?
 

Whenever we are strongly attached to an experience playing out just as we have conceived it...

and someone agrees to say the lines we "write" for them...

and agrees to be contained in OUR vision of the world...

we get what we prefer and we are comfortable.

 

BUT WE MISS SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES.

***************************************************

We miss the excitement of something new and unexpected entering the scene.

We miss the challenge of having to create our response IN THAT MOMENT...the challenge of testing ourselves to see how we can call on the influence of new things we have been learning.

We miss the glorious opportunity to see different aspects of the persons with whom we are interacting.

We miss the opportunity to learn something new or gain a new way of viewing things.

We miss the ENERGY of a brand new moment expressing itself with twists and turns and full to the brim with the promise of awareness, excitement and challenge.

***************************************************

In short, we are stuck in the groove we have been digging for a long, long time...and that groove is called  Having It My Way.
 

Jesse Nichols George says, 
 
*When we let go of our attachments we set things free to be so much more.  If we try to restrict people and relationships to be a certain way we miss so much of what they have to offer; when we let them be themselves, WE CAN BE AMAZED OVER AND OVER AGAIN."


Here's a thought...  

What if the "program" we create for the experiences in our life was blank?  

No predictions or hints of what is to come... no plot points.

 
Just a tabula rasa, a blank page waiting to be created by the information and emotions of the players revealing themselves in each moment.

 

Life would never be static or boring, would it?  

There would always be something new to consider...enjoy...watch for.  We would never have to travel to a Mecca for something new and exciting.  

OUR LIFE and the way we live it would be the new, exciting thing.


If we allow...no, let's make that  INVITE,  ENCOURAGE and  DELIGHT IN the scenes which  are WRITING THEMSELVES (even in this moment), we will undoubtedly have a front row seat to the evolution of our awareness, joy and wisdom!

                                                               
                                                                                  Marie Helena



image from casualtext.wordpress.com

The Audience

Dance like no one is watching.
                                       Anonymous


There is a quaint phrase we use when we talk about putting our best foot forward and donning our best manners:  Sunday Clothes.  It's like we scrub ourselves down, bring out our best attire and now are being very careful about what we say and do.  And this is because we feel everyone is watching.

If you've seen the movie Stepford Wives, you know that the characters here are performing in a way that is "expected" of them...actually, programmed INTO them so they will not deviate from the norm.  And the result of this oppressive exercise, watching people march through a prescribed routine, is not inspiring.  In fact, it is rather dull…even annoying.

And that is because we all crave authenticity, we crave the "luxury" of being completely ourselves.  What a pleasure to just BE what we feel like...to not feel compelled to impose someone else's expectations upon ourselves!  How relaxing and delightful to do and say precisely what is going on inside us!

Imagine what the world would be like if every person felt that freedom!  Imagine what it would be like if no one felt they had to live up to others' expectations!  Things would be wild and crazy and also vibrant and surprising and unsettling and disconcerting.  but they would be authentic expressions of who we are.  No energy would be wasted in pretending.  Things would be joyful and exciting and often topsy turvy but we would truly know what others are feeling and we would ourselves enjoy the freedom of being transparent.

The picture I am describing would require an HONORING on everyone's part of the thoughts and ideas and feelings of others.  It would also require the UNDERSTANDING on everyone's part that what is said and done is ALWAYS only about the person himself and what HE is experiencing, remembering, processing, releasing.  No offense would be taken from anything that happens.  No one would make the mistake of owning another's reaction.  We would all be firmly grounded in our own self knowledge and assessment...not needing anyone's approval to feel OK.  We would all be flying free, enjoying the moment, expressing what is in our hearts.  And celebrating everyone's right to join in the vibrancy and revelations of the moment.


What a GRAND EXPERIMENT it would be to leave our Sunday Clothes behind and 
breathe  the beauty of having everyone freely "dance", watch others "dance" and ENJOY the show!

                                                                                                   Marie Helena



image from pinterest.com

This is SHOW BUSINESS, folks!

Do you suffer from a distressing reaction when someone around you is upset and even though it's not about you, it still FEELS like it is. 

 ouch...Ouch...OUCH!  That is no fun place to be, carrying all that gloom.

I've got an idea about how to get OUT from UNDER that web of co-dependency on someone else's emotions.  And it's frivolous and silly and no one else will even get the humor of what you are doing but YOU will be laughing inside (and tickling your funny bone).

Here's my thought.  Become Alice...you know, Alice in Wonderland but this wonderland doesn't belong to the original Alice.  It's YOUR "wonder"land.  And here's what you're wondering about.



You're wondering how these strange characters (your family, your friends, everyone you run into) got into YOUR story...that's YOUR life, YOUR Wonderland.  And, you're wondering about the curious, quaint and sometimes mystifying ways they think and do things.  And so you're enjoying watching them as they go through their individual routines (that's right...I said routines...this is show business, folks).


I wonder if they are there to entertain you with their perplexing and sometimes offbeat moves.  Each one is an original character with a back story and adventures to take on.  How DID they land at your tea party!

Of course.  I forgot you're Alice and you've gone down the rabbit hole they call earth school and now you get to meet these characters, watch their antics, interact (play) with them.  Remember, this is a fantasy drama, a PLAY for goodness sakes.   

                                                                                                                
NOW...what does your story look like?
                                                             

                                                                                               Marie Helena


 

top image from johoffberg.com
bottom image from movies-wallpaper.net

Presumption of Innocence

One of the most important principles upon which the American judicial system is based is the presumption of innocence.  Regardless of how heavily evidence may appear to be weighted against someone, the law requires that we consider him innocent of all wrongdoing until testimony in court proves otherwise.  And holding this position can be very difficult to do when an individual has already been charged, arrested and bound over for trial.  We cannot help but speculate and draw conclusions regarding what looks like culpability when law enforcement has already moved to take action.

This very conundrum of the law is also a strapping example of how we often react to
each other when we are faced with a disagreement and experience the accompanying backlash of emotion.

When an individual addresses us in an unfeeling or harsh manner or rampages over what we consider to be an innocent remark, it is a very short jaunt to our accusation that HE is guilty of creating the chaos.  We pronounce him GUILTY of wrongdoing.  Guilty as charged.  BY us.  Guilty on the face of it. 

But, perhaps, this is the exact moment when we need to consider the principle of presumption of innocence.


Let me explain.


Tracy McMillan, American author, television writer and relationship expert, makes the profound observation:  People act on the outside the way they feel on the inside.


Whoa!  That is a very significant reveal into the psyche of others.  And an important confirmation of the pain they are feeling.  Someone who acts miserably is feeling miserable inside.   Someone who speaks in an angry manner is angry in his heart.  Someone who accuses others of wrongdoing is really accusing himself.


Here is where the principle of presumption of innocence enters the picture.  Each and every one of us carries the beautiful heart we came into the world with… the lovely innocence and joy and peace of the newly born.  When we incarnate, each and every one of us enters into an agreement to experience life and to learn from the lessons.  But "experiencing" can be very painful, confusing and difficult and the "learning" can take a very long time. When we interact with someone who is still "learning" from his "experience", we are actually witnessing that innocent heart struggling through the self-selected challenges of earth school.

 
And, rather than reacting to our original perception of wrongdoing,  it is a loving and generous thing for us to presume the innocence of that primal heart which is still trying to find its way through the difficulties it is encountering.  That heart is still suffering… this much is clear.  As Tracy McMillan tells us, we are being shown by the outside action of an individual the nature of the suffering he is enduring within.

And, it is in this moment, that we are called by Compassion to presume the innocence of an individual and the absence of his conscious, harmful intent and, instead, to extend love and understanding to him for the pain that is clearly still in emotional residence and complicating the issues at hand.  


Appearances can be very deceiving and  what we see as attacks on our person are only the countless interwoven stories of earth dwellers finding their way through the pain of unhealed hurt and the havoc it causes when brought to bear on a triggering situation.  Supporting and understanding others during this time of emotional affliction is an act of unconditional love that helps them gain the hard won clarity of self-confrontation.  When we have no one to react to, we are left to examine ourselves.
 

"Although we cannot help but speculate and draw conclusions regarding what looks like culpability," it is an extraordinary act of trust and wisdom to offer to someone the LOVE that helps him access the inner chambers of his heart.


                                                                                         Marie Helena



image from pinterest



                                                                                                     mysticmarks.blogspot.com

A Tender Place

I believe there is a very tender place in every human heart.  A place where unconditional love and compassion reside.  This is a gift we come into the world with but, sadly, gets clouded over from the limiting experiences we undergo.  As a result of this, it is sometimes difficult to access this beautiful oasis because we have all been scarred by emotional debris and are in varying stages of doing the work of clearing it out.

I believe there is a way to access this place...a way to help ourselves and to help others connect with this beautiful resource and that is by letting them know the emotions we are experiencing in our body.


So often, when we are triggered or affected by an assumption or a comment made by others, we react with stony silence or a counterattack, drawing the conclusion that we have not been supported or understood.  We feel alone… and sad… and uncared for.  But the reason we feel this way may be that we have not clearly communicated in a very primal and pure way what we are physically experiencing in that moment. 


When we choose to engage with another in a moment of upset or distress exclusively in the mode of this-is-what-you-did-to-me, we miss the opportunity to avail ourselves of a resource of great power that has the potential to bridge the chasm that we are feeling between ourselves and another...and, that is, the sharing of the raw emotions we are experiencing. 


What if when we feel upset or attacked instead of moving immediately into an expression of blame or hurt feelings, we were to take a breath and softly and gently describe the feelings that are taking hold of our body?


For example, we might make a comment such as "In this moment I feel my heart racing and my chest feels tight and I don't know why."

For some beautiful, and, I believe, spiritual reason, the nonjudgmental description of the emotions we are experiencing in that moment has an intense, transformative effect on both individuals involved in the conversation. The person describing the feelings being experienced accesses what lies beneath his surface default reaction of protecting and defending themselves. The person who hears the feelings described experiences the sharing of sacred information.  And both are transformed in that moment because they have together entered into a journey of exploring the pain that is occurring without the heavy armor of accusation, guilt and recrimination. 


In order for an experience such as this to take place, both individuals need to be prepared for it and agree to this very different response to conflict.  Perhaps an understanding can be reached during a peaceful moment to speak to each other in this manner when feeling deep distress.

There is something so intuitive, so powerful that occurs when we truly feel the stirrings...and sadness...of the human heart.  That beautiful, tender place in each of us rises up effortlessly in this epic moment for the purpose of understanding and soothing the emotions being revealed with such deep authenticity.

Whether we are the person expressing the emotions revealing themselves in our body or the person hearing them expressed by another… in this interaction, we enter into a sacred covenant of understanding and compassion, helping to heal ourselves and helping to heal another.


As simple as a soft, gentle step away from the usual fray we engage in and into a space of Divine interaction, offering and receiving the tender grace of a kind and loving heart.


                                                                                                Marie Helena




image from pinterest.com

Prelude

The initial note...
the dawning...
the "ceremony"

that leads us into the space of 
THE CHALLENGING EXPERIENCE.

So salient, so critical...the overture that fashions the response to what is about to unfold.


What kind of "prelude" do we usually create in that compelling moment before we engage in the discussion of a burning issue?



Do we "get right down to business"...not even noticing whether our audience is ready (and calm enough) to receive the "message" on our mind?

Do we begin by listing the words or actions that are affecting or, possibly, distressing us?

Do we describe in great detail our view of how things SHOULD have unfolded?



It would be so easy to launch into one of these approaches when we are upset and disturbed by someone's actions. But, by failing to create a space which invites heart sharing, we may well up the ante on distress and significantly lessen our chance of working out our problem with mutual intention and cooperation.


The PRELUDE that we need here in this moment (before we engage in discussion of the issue) should flow from an open heart...a heart that trusts in finding solutions that minister to EVERYONE'S needs. And this intention can be voiced as a prelude to the "discussion".



Here are some examples of what we might say...


I want to share my feelings with you and hear what your feelings are.

I want to tell you what I would like to do and have you tell me what you would like to happen.

I want to honor my feelings and also honor yours.

I trust that we will find a way to navigate this moment that will take care of both of us.

I want to give and receive love, support, joy and wisdom. And I thank you for taking the time and making the effort to do this with me."



The first moments of an encounter can meet everyone's emotional need to feel "heard" and "cared for".

By holding...and voicing...a clear and loving intention to peacefully approach our issue, we set into motion the vibrational PRELUDE that leads to peace, honoring and harmony.



                                                                  Marie Helena






image from Angelsinnature.wordpress.com