Remembrance: Why We Should Forgive Ourselves

FORGIVE YOURSELF.

The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you've created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows,
 
Don Miguel Ruiz

As we write the story of our life, our learning occurs in a myriad of ways.  Sometimes the path is straight and clear.  We take action that feels instinctively right...it works beautifully...we benefit and all is well.
 
Sometimes our learning takes a different path.  

Sometimes we are influenced by unhealed pain, hurt, unmet needs, etc. and we choose a path that is not in our best interest.  But, at that time, the choice we made felt like the only way we could go.

And so we went there.  And it was not what we expected. 

All was not well.  And we ultimately JUDGED ourselves for the choice and stayed mired in sadness and regret. 

Writing the story of our life is not usually a black and white endeavor.  Sometimes we are drawn to what SEEMS like a solution but ultimately does not deliver on that (false) promise. 

 

However, our learning can occur quite brilliantly when we can view our actions with some objectivity...

perhaps uncover what has moved us in that direction...

love ourselves through the pain of self-confrontation,,,

and emerge with a stronger, braver view of what we want to do with our lives.

Judging ourselves (or anyone or anything) is not productive. 

It delays our process of learning.  

What is needed is an open, accepting heart that understands we were trying to navigate some difficulty...a heart which knows that LOVE is always expressing itself the best way it knows how.

What we did is what we knew.  When we know better, we do better.  

And, as we reflect on our choices and their consequences, we begin to know better and we do better.  We pass by judgment, embracing instead our humanity and moving forward with new wisdom and insight.

 

Perhaps the forgiveness which Don Miguel Ruiz is talking about can really be called the simple act of KNOWING that we are on a journey with some distracting side paths which ultimately can lead us to our true destination...a REMEMBERING of the glorious perfection of Who We Truly Are and an acceptance of how learning can occur in a dualistic world.

                                                                                      Marie Helena

image from salliesart.blogspot.com

originally printed September 17, 2011

The Invitation

Everything we do and experience in life is born from the ENERGY we carry.  People and experiences show up in response to the conscious and unconscious energetic invitations we  issue.
                                      Iyanla Vanzant, Forgiveness


Energy rests upon LOVE; and come as it will, there's no forcing it.
                                        Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina




Every one of us would like to be invited to special events that pique our interest...whether it's a musical presentation, art show, fabulous social event or an intimate conversation at someone's home.   What a beautiful compliment to have our presence requested...and so we wait in hopeful anticipation of such a desired connection.




And, though it appears that someone else holds the power of issuing such an invitation, that is far from the truth for, as Iyanla Vanzant points out, "People and experiences show up in response to the conscious and unconscious energetic invitations WE issue."


 
In reality, we are not meek, passive persons waiting for someone to notice and respond to us.  It is WE who are issuing invitations by the energy we project. And, if we wish to attract beautiful opportunities, then we must till our emotional soil so that they will want to find a home with us.

 
And...if we consider Tolstoy's belief that energy rests upon love and there is no forcing it, then something becomes very clear.



When we are truly aligned with the Divine Universe and our actions are sourced in Love, we hold a beautiful, high energy that invites more of that wonderful essence to us through people and opportunities.   And when we are not aligned with the Divine Universe and our actions spring from ego inspired motivations, our energetic reading is low, contracted, uneven, unconscious...and it draws more of the same unconscious energy unto itself.

 


As always, Love is the answer to the longing of the heart and its flowering offers the ultimate INVITATION!

                                                                                                      

                                                                                                  Marie Helena


image from www.hooverwebdesign.com

The Orchestra

In the great symphony of life, we all have important parts to play. While some people are best suited to be conductors or soloists, their contributions would be diminished considerably without the individual musicians that lend their artistry to the fullness of an orchestra.

                             Madisyn Taylor
                             Daily OM*


If you've ever attended the brilliant performance of a commanding and impassioned orchestra, you KNOW how important every instrument and every musician are to the authenticity of the presentation.   The convergence of the beauty of each instrument achieves an exquisite richness and tapestry of emotion.  One cannot help but be moved by such a moment!  It is all encompassing.  It is fullness.  It is transcension from the ordinary to the sublime.


And why is this so?  Because TOGETHER we create the collective consciousness.  And this consciousness becomes the Grandest Version of Ourselves when everyone brings an open heart and the gift of his own "music" to the performance.  And it is not only in the "bringing" of the beautiful hearts and the special "music" (which are, in themselves, courageous), it is also in the generous and courageous acceptance of ALL orchestra members for each other and in the welcoming and celebrating that the performance transcends ITSELF.


THIS is what we CAN BE. 


As earth dwellers, we have not yet come to this awesome orchestral MOMENT but, inspired by the dream of universal Love, we are moving steadily in that direction.

"Orchestra members" are "seeing" the soul signature they share with their compatriots.  They are working together to produce "exquisite melodies".

"Drums" keep us ready and alert.  "Horns" call forth our emotions.  "Violins" honor the vulnerability of our hearts.   The list goes on.  ALL are a part of the breathless symphony.


Together, we are so very beautiful!   

                                                                                                              
                                                                                                         Marie Helena




Image from Baroque Orchestra Painting Baroque orchestra (eubo)
imgarcade.com



*Reprinted from DailyOM- Inspirational thoughts for a happy, healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com.

The Magical Playground

Though it often masquerades as a series of difficult challenges,

all Life is made up of Pure Consciousness…

and this beautiful, majestic, mysterious resource is our PLAYGROUND and it is WE who decide how to experience it.



We do this by the stories we choose to write for ourselves.  And there is a never ending supply to choose from because WE keep creating whatever we wish to believe about ourselves.

 
And, by this process, we cast OURSELVES in the role of our choosing though it FEELS like someone else did this to us...especially, if we are unhappy in the role...or feel victimized.  


We FORGET that we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience... that we are already perfect...already PURE LOVE. 

We FORGET that we have chosen to experience life in earth school and that we can PLAY with pure consciousness and create whatever story will help us on our journey.

 

If fear or anxiety is casting gloom in our life...if we are mired in depression or hopelessness,  

we can use Alberto Villoldo's suggestion in his book COURAGEOUS DREAMING to fly to the level of eagle and write A NEW STORY for ourselves...

one in which we are the Spiritual Hero who sees the soul view of what is happening, swings HIGH and chooses to act from PURE LOVE, our heavenly heritage.

 

It's easy to forget that we have this wondrous ability, especially because we accepted the veil of forgetfulness as a condition of our experience in earth school. 

 But ALL of this is ours for the asking.  We are the architects of our journey and we choose how this journey will transpire.



Never lose sight of the magical playground of pure consciousness.   Choose the best and brightest version of yourself. Live your dreams with passion and pleasure!

 
                                                                                     Marie Helena


image from alisonkolesar.blogspot.com


originally published November 17, 2012

Tea by Special Invitation Only

We design our lives by making conscious choices. 
  

If we do not purposefully choose the direction in which we wish to go...the body will react to whatever emotions we are experiencing. 

And,  if those emotions are fear-based or anxiety-ridden, that is what the body will express.

 

We CAN, however, bypass this avenue of default by choosing to keep our bodies in a state of bliss.  If we engage in something that is truly  joyful to us and we sustain that state of being...the body will do its healing work, undeterred by emotional obstacles.

And to help us stay continually in that beautiful place of bliss we can allow Higher Self to take over the  Heavy Lifting.  We do not need to know or understand what is needed for our greatest good.  All that we have to do is express that intention with the knowingness that the Divine Universe will guide us to the most perfect way to achieve our goal.

 

If we find ourselves experiencing the lower energies of fear, anger, judgment or self-doubt, we can respond by acknowledging their presence, thanking  them for visiting and informing them that  they will NOT be having tea with us today so they either have to transform themselves to a higher vibration or leave the premises.

 

Remember, this is our territory and WE get to decide which vibrations visit and which get to stay.

 

We need to do whatever it takes to place and keep ourselves in the   

EXQUISITE STATE of JOYFUL FLOW...

listen to enchanting music, 

read beautiful words,

drink in nature's glorious offerings

...do whatever produces this bliss for us 

and we will present our body with the perfect state for healing and rejuvenation.

What a Beautiful Opportunity to direct our energy flow for the purpose of achieving radiant health!

image from conceptart.org

 

originally printed October 29, 2011

Embracing the Shenpa

All of us, in our essence, are Love. 

A big part of our healing journey is to embrace and, thereby, release the SHENPA (which is blocking the beautiful expression of that gift), opening the pathway for our true nature to reveal itself.
                  Ken Porter

                                           

                                                               
                                               
                                                        

EVERYBODY has experienced the very distinct sensation of being triggered by something upsetting...we feel a tension, a tightening in our emotions.  And it happens lightning fast.  And before we know it our default reaction has registered and been expressed.

In many (and I would venture to say most) cases that default is not so pretty.

 

One big example of the default is an ADDICTION.

We feel stung by a remark or an event.  It hits a point of insecurity...or an emotional wound that we have not dealt with... and we immediately turn to our "comfort" of choice (and it's not something on the health and wellness list).

Or, we might become immediately defensive or respond to our perceived hurt by  "counterattacking".

And, when all is said and done and the dust has settled, we don't feel so great about our choice or outburst.   But we were feeling so very helpless;  everything seemed so out of our control... like the issue (read TRIGGER) took over our consciousness.

And that space...the very quick space of time after the trigger was activated... is 

the Tibetan concept of shenpa.  

It's the flash that occurs BEFORE we act.  It's the upsetting emotion.

 

And it's VERY powerful.  

Especially when we back away...literally RUN away from that HOOK and grab on to something that will calm our upset and anxiety.

It's the backing away that is the problem.  

We don't want to go there.  But that space...the shenpa...is the very place we NEED to go so that we can EMBRACE this mystery...this force which drives our behavior.

 

When we open ourselves to the shenpa...

when we embrace it and let ourselves feel what is happening inside us...

we begin to see what Pema Chodron, notable American figure in Tibetan Buddhism,  calls "the whole chain reaction".  

Chodron says that "somehow, learning how to open up the space without putting [any] particular form of scratching into the equation is important."

And that is when release occurs...when  we EMBRACE this uncomfortable feeling which, if unexamined, leads to unhealthy choices and  behavior.

Chodron (and Porter) believe  

"there's some wisdom that is based on a fundamental desire for wholeness or healing- which has nothing to do with ego-grasping.  It has to do with wanting to connect and live from your basic goodness, your basic openness, your basic lack of prejudice, your basic lack of bias, your basic warmth. Wanting to live from that. It begins to become a stronger force than the shenpa and itself stops the chain reaction."

 

What we resist, persists.

What we embrace and experience reveals itself to us.

This act of courage..of bravely facing ourselves... seems resonant with what we have come here to do and I believe it helps us access the resources we need for the work of our journey.

Now the shenpa doesn't feel so scary.  

And we are rewarded with a sense of perspective and can see the choices of response in our behavior available to us and the merits of those choices and we can more easily choose the response path of Higher Self, the self we aspire to be.  

And, in that moment, WE MEET THE SHENPA with the strength and power of our shared divinity.  And  Love once again becomes the instrument which comforts, soothes and sustains us.

                                                                                     Marie Helena
 

image from elephantjournal.com.  


originallly published June 22, 2012