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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

The Cutting Edge: Lose the Default

As we travel through the life map our soul has designed, we adopt a LOT of coping mechanisms to help us navigate the journey.  When things get really difficult, we find ways to sidestep the enormity of the lessons and rest our weary selves in the comfort of a subconscious, conditioned reaction, honed to perfection by our repeat visits to this isle of escape.

Tension in the workplace?  Misunderstandings?  Misinformation?  Traffic holdups?  Long lines at the supermarket?  Fretting family members?  Briefcase full of unfinished assignments?   
Stop!  Enough already.  

And here our culture and conditioning step in to give us options for these kinds of difficult moments.  A wine cooler...or chocolate...football...games on the IPhone...shopping...Whatever...

We may get some temporary respite from our chosen "distraction".  But, ultimately, it is not enough to drown out the din inside us.  Next, we have learned to figure out where we can assign the blame.  "Mikey" did it.  The world is full of potential "Mikey's".  It's their fault.  Whatever is wrong is their fault.  We can always make a case for why our problem and our reaction are someone else's responsibility.

And so, in the face of pressure and stress, we find the easy way out.  And these "easy ways" become our defaults.

But these default reactions don't serve us well.  Although they give us some short term relief, they ignore the Message we are receiving.  Something we are doing is not in alignment with our Higher Self.  And we need to see what is really transpiring.  And we need to find a new way to get that information.

HERE is the perfect moment for us to LOSE THE OLD DEFAULT.  Here is where we can recognize that we have been hiding by defending ourselves, attacking others or ignoring or covering up our upset with methods of comfort.  Here is where we can bravely try something new...lose the old default and design a new and better way to deal with what is bothering us. 

Like letting ourselves FEEL what is happening to us instead of "beating it out of there".
Like recognizing that our angst is coming from some unhealed pain from the past...pain which we originally buried because we did not have the tools to deal with it.  Pain we have been watching ourselves resurrect over and over and over...whenever we are triggered. 

How great it would feel to finally get that negative, stuck energy out in the open...see it for what it is...offer ourselves compassion for experiencing it and give ourselves and/or others understanding and forgiveness for, in reality, only doing in that moment "what we/they knew how to do".

This is tough, brave work and we must be gentle with ourselves when we undertake it. Now, our "default" may need to be quiet moments in nature, meditation...a cup of herbal tea. And a message delivered to ourselves and possibly to others that we need time to process what has happened and our reaction to it.

THIS is how we gain the opportunity to become our best selves, to begin to live what we aspire to be.  We change our old, predictable ways of reacting by FINALLY hearing the wisdom of the "Message".   By realizing that any upsetting reaction that we experience is really about us and some unhealed pain in us that needs to be addressed.  By owning our feelings and resolving to hear what they are trying to tell us.  It is THEN that we are able to lose the old defaults and replace them with something much better.  Something that makes us feel self-respect and self-affirmation regarding our response to VERY difficult situations.  

Simple...but not easy.  Cutting edge.  

                                                                                            Marie Helena

image from hatoola13.deviantart.com

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